Temperance Two weeks have passed since Emaline's funeral. A few days ago I finally opened the bedroom door to Alec. We now share his bed since he continues to let me reside here. I haven't destroyed any more furniture since the last time they replaced it. Whenever I get overwhelmed and have to self-harm I do it in the shower. I continue to avoid speaking but sometimes I have to. I'm not completely silent like I was, I just don't have anything to say anymore. Zander is finally out of his room. My worry for him has been constant. He helplessly tries to find distractions from her death. Rea is technically bound by my side, ordered by Alec. He can't be with me every second of the day, which I understand, so he sends Rea to tend to me. She is always stationed close by, I can't help but feel guarded. I have no problem with her being around. She has never shown ill intentions towards me. If I ever need anything she doesn't hesitate to help me. I consider her a friend. A friend but not
Temperance She put on a movie that I've never seen before. Incredibles 2, I think. I haven't even seen the first one. I haven't really seen any movies if I'm honest. And I can blame my father for that. She stands up to get something from the kitchen while I cover up with a blanket, still watching the movie. I don't know when the guys will be back, it seems like I never know. I don't know if Ella will let me go to bed alone or if she'd sit on the edge of my bed and watch me. Alec did order her to protect me, but sitting on the edge of my bed while I try to sleep seems excessive. My ears perk as a firm knock comes from the front door. I turn around, glancing at the door. My mind runs through all the people it could be. I stand to my feet and walk towards the door. Something isn't right, I can feel it. I open the door, and to my horror, I see two tall, male police officers standing in front of me. The red and blue lights flashed behind them, blinding me. I bring my hand up to my
Temperance Anxiety. My anxiety can go from one to ten in a matter of seconds. One minute I can be fine. The next, I'm on the ground shaking, trying to get the oxygen into my lungs. Anxiety is like a monster. It's a monster that doesn't go away. It's a monster that attacks you whenever it wants because it doesn't care about what you think. I say I need to go to the restroom for stomach problems. It's not the stomach problems everyone is thinking about. It's the anxiety making my stomach churn. Making me fall to the ground holding my stomach while I break out into a cold sweat, rocking back and forth on the ground. My heart feels like it's going to burst... it's all I worry about. Wondering if it's going to explode inside my chest and kill me slowly because it's beating so fast. Because it hurts so much. It's the thing that causes me to lose my breath and causes me not to form a simple word. It could be wonderful. Then the anxiety knocks on my door. I stay quiet, so it won't kno
Temperance "Who the fuck Is this?" My heart drops as I hear a booming voice. I turn around and come face to face with a large man that has features like my father. A young woman stands behind him. "Th-this is Temperance. Your niece." Kenli speaks up. I can tell she is afraid. My palms begin to sweat as I start shaking. My heart is thumping in my ears. Chris grabs my sweaty palm and squeezes it. He's like the big brother I've always wanted. The big brother I've always dreamed of having. Even though I barely knew him, I felt this sort of connection with him. Like I can count on him to protect me. Then my mind falls back to Alec. I miss him so much. My heart aches without him. I want to be with him in his arms. The man snaps in my face focusing my attention back on him. "I'm Austin. You will address me as 'sir'; if you forget, you will be punished. This is Vicki, my wife. You will address her as 'ma'am'." Austin's tone is harsh. He meant what he said. "Explain the rest of the
Temperance Excitement fills my body as soon as Alec comes into view. He couldn't take me to school this morning because of something that happened with his gang. I had to walk to school. I jump in his arms, and he holds me tightly. Several people stare at us, their eyes filled with judgment. He places my feet firmly on the ground, his hands cupping my cheeks. "Did they hurt you? Are you ok? What's been happening?" His eyes are filled with worry. "I-I'm fine. Don't worry." I haven't had any fists fly at me yet but my mental health is something to worry about. Panic attacks are frequent and when they aren't happening I'm laying down staring into space. I can't do anything about it, though. I can't tell him. Or really anyone. Maybe one day I'll be able to get a therapist or something like that. I can't imagine myself opening up to someone who could judge me though. If I got a therapist they would think I'm disgusting from things that have happened to me. He hands me a backpack
TemperanceNervously, I drop my backpack on the mattress I sleep on and then make my way into the living room.In desolation, I process his harsh words.I will be going somewhere else for my school. My current school is too far from here for me to continue attending."I have to go somewhere else? I like the school I go to now." I don't like the school per say, I only like the friends I have.Austin turns towards me, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. I bite my tongue as his fingers press into my cuts."S-stop that hurts!" I desperately try to pry his hand off of mine.I feel a rip in my arms, signaling that my cuts have ripped open. I watch in horror as blood seeps through my sleeves. My sleeves aren't thick enough to hold the blood, causing the warm liquid to smudge onto Austin's calloused hand.He lets go of my wrist in disgust and brings his hand with my blood on it to my face. He yanks his hand away from me, studying the liquid on his palm. He glances at me, extending his hand
Temperance "No offense but what kind of name is Temperance? I mean it's pretty... it's just odd." A body appears next to me, bumping their shoulder into mine. With furrowed brows, I look up at the culprit who has ruined my focus on keeping myself from wobbling. A girl stands beside me, she's tall so she looks down at me. She gives me a small smile, not making any effort to get out of my bubble. It's my first day at this damned school and I already have someone bothering me. "How do you know my name?" I question, not remembering her face from either of my first classes. "My friend shares the first block with you." She tilts her head, moving a hair out of my face. I pull my head back, my back hitting the lockers behind me. I wince in pain as her arms extend for me, ready to yank me away from the lockers. "Are you ok?" She asks me as I swat her hand away from me. "Why are you talking to me so early? Can't you see I'm upset by your presence?" I can't help my outburst, the irritatio
TemperanceA month has passed since I was forced to leave Riverblossom high school.Since my departure, I haven't seen any of my friends. It's been a month since I've spoken to anyone aside from Chris and Kenli.I have no friends in this place. I'm alone like I did a 180. My luck has to be rotten. How can I be back to how I was before I met Alec? It's as if I went back in time.Sometimes I contemplate if my meeting with Alec was real or not. Were the happiest months of my life an illusion?Even if it was, my want for freedom is strong. I cant make anymore friends in a place I won't stay at forever. Even if everyone I had met a few months ago was an illusion, I can still have my false memories to lean on.When I first got to this school several people tried to talk to me. I would give dry responses to their attempts at befriending me. When they gave up I returned to solitude. I guess it's my fault that I'm alone now.The only thing I can be thankful for is the fact that there isn't Sab