I don't like him.
Everything about this fucking guy—the way he talks, the way he walks, the way he looks at you when you speak. I don't like it.
Alejandro Quintanilla. He's Salvador Quintanilla's nephew, so I'd be an idiot to try and fuck up this early in the game by giving him a rude welcome.
"I just wanted to say congratulations on behalf of the Quintanilla family," Alejandro says to me. "We're looking forward to a prosperous future ahead for us and the Harrisons."
Bullshit. His stare is full of malicious intent. His grip on my hand tightens, and I let go without giving him a sour look.
"Well let's hope so," I reply. My eyes shift to Leslie briefly; Leslie just watches our encounter without a definitive expression.
Alejandro laughs at my reply; his mouth barely forms a smile. "Don't be so unsure of yourself. You'll soon realize the empire than two men of power can create together, Sebastian."
It's clear that I'm only a puppet to this man and his family. Whatever my father told him before we met has clearly given him the impression that I would be an easy tool as a CEO. My gut also tells me that my spot in Harrison Inc. was already predetermined; who is the Board to defy my father?
Who is anyone to defy my father?
I glance at Leslie again, and my mind tells me that I should have expected this—her gawking at Alejandro like he's some Colombian god. But one thing I didn't expect was for him to cheer her on with his eyes—narrowing in on her and smirking as if he likes her attention. Like her normal self, she scurries away when she can't handle it anymore. Alejandro continues to stare at her distancing figure.
Keep your cool, Sebastian. Don't do anything stupid.
"One thing I love about your country is your women," he tells me, eyes still in her direction.
I nod, clenching my jaw as tightly as I can. "I agree."
"You've had your escapades, I'm certain. Quite a lot of them."
"I have. Though I'm not accustomed to that lifestyle anymore."
This prick is testing me now, waiting for me to break. My father told Alejandro too much; he knows Leslie is a weak point in all of this. Fuck, fuck, fuck...
"Don't be so modest," he says, amused. "If I had women like that around every corner I don't think I'd be able to control myself. You two have known each other for short while, yes?"
"About a month."
"And you two haven't—"
"No," I say before his sentence even finishes. He knows he's hit a nerve and smiles the widest smile I've seen since we first shook hands, and it isn't much of a smile at that.
"I'm surprised," His voice turns into a mumble, though I'm sure he intended on me hearing him. "She's beautiful—"
"Yes, I know that. Is there a point to this?" I ask him, my tone more aggressive than I had initially wished.
Alejandro raises a brow at me; he's got me, and I let it happen. "I didn't mean anything by it. Just trying to start conversation; our first introduction didn't go well, after all."
"What are you talking about?"
And that's when I realize that I've seen this man before—the Hillcrest country club where I confronted my father about blackmailing Leslie. He was sitting at the table with Salvador when I walked up to them. Shit, how could I have forgotten?
Alejandro takes my silence as fact that I know what he's talking about. "I knew something was up with you when you didn't even look our way when my uncle and I tried to be civil. And then disrespecting your father in front of an entire room? I won't lie, it made me think of you in a...how do you say...'bad light?'"
"That was a personal issue between my father and I," I respond, failing at hiding my growing animosity towards this asshole.
"Oh, I know. But your company and my family's company are going to be close, I predict." He inches closer to me—close enough for me to see the scar on his eyebrow and the evil in his eyes. "And there's nothing I hate more than arrogance and pride, Sebastian."
It's been a while since someone has made me angry enough to lose words. Even Leslie hasn't pushed me to that point. Knowing the importance of not severing ties with this man's family, I suppress my newfound hatred and accept his testament with nothing in reply. Fuck, my hands tremble just wanting to wring around his neck.
"Congratulations," he says one last time before stepping away to join his posse or whatever the hell that group he's with is. The amount of anger I feel is indescribable. Who the fuck does he think he is, threatening me like that?
Once he leaves, my father approaches me. As if I couldn't become angrier.
"You're the last person I want to talk to right now," I tell him, trying to walk away before he grabs my arm and pulls me back. His smile is forced, like he doesn't want the press to see the tension between us.
"I see you've met Alejandro," he says quietly.
"Yes, I have."
"It didn't look like it went well."
"It didn't. And I don't understand why you're here talking to me about this when you should be conducting some other way to ruin more people's lives."
My father laughs. Genuinely, at that.
"You're funny, Sebastian. But all jokes aside, I advise you to keep relations with the Quintanilla family strong and prosperous—"
"It shouldn't matter what my relations with them are. You aren't CEO anymore, dad."
"True, but Salvador and I are still friends, and his family is a huge benefactor for Harrison Incorporated. If our partnership doesn't go well, I'm not confident in the outcome."
I see Board members watching my dad and I converse. But the plastic smile on my father's face makes me believe that he knows that already.
"How I handle the Quintanilla family shouldn't be your concern."
"But it is my concern." That plastic smile I talked about? Gone. "See, there's a balance to everything, Sebastian."
He asks his assistant, the petite blonde whose name I think is Lucinda, to come and give him a pen. Once she does, one look is all my father gives her; she quickly walks the other way.
"Let's say this pen is 'balance'," he begins, holding the mahogany-polished pen horizontally between us. "This represents everything that happens to this corporation and how we stand. Now, think of this ring as you, and the other ring as a partner with Harrison Inc."
He pulls off one diamond encrusted ring and another abyss-black ring off his fingers and places each one through either end. They dangle slightly towards the middle before coming to a halt.
"Equilibrium," he explains, holding both ends of the pen steady. "Both forces are at equilibrium because they understand each other. They cooperate with each other and make sure that both of their needs are met. They are at one with balance. But imagine if this ring wanted to force another direction against balance."
He tilts the pen, the diamond encrusted ring sliding away while the black ring moving unwillingly towards it.
"Everything would start to crumble. Relationships, partnerships, financial stability. All of it would succumb to the dying need to move against balance. And eventually—"
He tilts the pen so both rings fall off into his pale palm.
"They both fall. Do you understand why it is important to obey balance and order?"
"Alejandro and his family have nothing to do with how I run Harrison Inc.—"
"I would hate to see ones you care about suffer for any careless actions you wish to ensue against balance," my father suddenly says coldly. "If you were smart, you would nod and agree, right?"
"After all the shit you've done to me, you expect me to bow down and become Alejandro's bitch?"
"Don't be so crass!"
"Why shouldn't I? After everything you've done I should have the right."
"What right?" he laughs. "You have more rights than most people and yet you're so unappreciative of everything I have done for you. If anything, I'm trying to protect you."
"From what!?" I hiss at him. "What could you possibly be protecting me from that you let hurt me before?"
"There's much you don't understand. I'm trying to make it easier for you: respect equilibrium, and you should be fine."
"And if I don't?"
"I already told you." He smiles for a moment, looks at Leslie talking to a reporter, then looks back at me. "I see relations between you two are still rough? It's for the best, I'm sure. Her intentions were clouded and ingenuine, I told you that."
"Stop trying to change the subject," I reply, though it's really me who's trying to change the subject of her; he isn't done with Leslie, I'm sure.
"But it's obvious you still care for her."
"And I can say the same for you."
I've hit a nerve with him. He's still in denial about how I exposed him for being obsessed with Leslie.
His response isn't instant, but it's what I expected. "Like I said, it's for the best."
When his hand grips mine, I feel his rings land into my palm before he lets go. I look down at them, seeing my reflection against the stones and jewels, but quickly look away.
Frankly, I don't know where to look anymore.
**
**I thought my victory over Claire Finch would last as long as the buzz around her scandal. Apparently, I was wrong.I'm unsure if it's because the heat has lasted longer in the press, at a constant peak, then expected—two weeks. It's all everyone is talking about. It's all everyonehasbeen talking about since Claire came out with the statement.In my office, I watch an interview that Claire did yesterday with Diane Sawyer about her infidelity scandal. I read the comments more than anything; they're less than sympathetic. I force myself to see the immense positivity in this, but with Sebastian not here to share this victory with me, it's almost useless in a selfish sense. A professional sense? It's an instant boost in my career. A publicist's ace in the
I should tell someone. I should do something. I should say something to someone I trust, but admittedly, I'm too scared. The journal, dark and tattered but still intact, rest on my lap as I sit in my car, too scared to put the keys into the ignition in fear of the car blowing up with me inside it. I've called Isaac and asked him to pick me up from the restaurant due to "car trouble;" I didn't mention the journal to him. He would only tell me that I should have listened to him about moving to Venetia. He would also tell me that this is certainly Garrett's doing—everything I already know being told to me over again. I don't open the journal again. I feel like I'm invading Sebastian's memories if I were to read it again; he's let go of the drama that's surrounded it. Now that it's back, all of its baggage comes with it. I should burn it. Bury it. Hide it somewhere. Part of me wants to
** I tap my fingers impatiently against the table top, watching restaurant goers enjoy their mimosas and laugh over their egg toasts. Brunch seemed like a reasonable time for Claire to meet me. Not for dinner or lunch or even breakfast, but brunch. That was the only time she'd agree to. She also set the place for our meeting—The Edenboroughin Beverly Hills. Very upscale eatery; money is dripping from every guest in the room. Claire, who had me make the reservation, texted me and told me she would be a little late the moment I walked into the restaurant. At that point, I knew she was messing with me. But I don't mind indulging in her childish antics. The fact that she agreed to meet with me is progress enough. "Can I get you started with something to drink, miss Ki
**JANUARYFor the last thirty days, I've been dealing with the most unbearable anxiety.Not because of everything that happened in December—I have been seeing a therapist for almost an entire month who has helped me tremendously with correctly channeling my feelings about everything that happened to me; Sebastian promised to talk to someone if I did, so we're both making weekly visits to shrinks.It isn't work, either. Work has been "relatively" normal ever since I returned to my apartment and eventually got back into my routine. The ideal reasons aren't the reasons at all. The real reason involves a man that I can't seem to get enough of—a man that seems to always spiral my life out of con
** Sebastian's house has a heavy, eerie feeling to it when no one is here. Its vast walls and weaving hallways have to always be occupied. If not, it's like an abandoned castle from legend. I wonder how Sebastian managed to dwell here on his own when he wasn't hosting parties. I sit outside most of the day on one of the chairs in the courtyard. With my laptop, I get back to work; it takes my mind off of last night. I want to feel somewhat normal again but in truth, I don't know if everything will ever be truly normal like it once was. I suppose this is the life I live now, and I have to learn how to adjust to it instead of running away from it. Hours pass and so do countless emails. I've responded to every media outlet in my i
** I wait for the walls to cave in on themselves. I wait for the lights to go out and for everyone to disappear. Suddenly, I'll be free falling. And right before I hit the ground, I'll jolt myself awake; this is a dream. I want this to be a dream. I want to wake up right next to Leslie with the sunrays and the sheets and shit. I don't want this to be real. But after waiting for the end of the dream, it never comes. This is real life. What I'm seeing is one-hundred percent real. Claude, Isaac and Penny stand beside me, staring in the same direction that I am but wearing different facial expressions; I'm the only one whose expression isn't distinctive. Salvador continues to try and wake Alejandro up. There's a small groan that emanates from him, but he still remai