๋ก๊ทธ์ธ๊ณต์
CHAPTER 145
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๋ฐ์ดํธ:
2024-05-21 21:49:54
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A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 146
The next three days were filled with tension and anticipation. There were small signs that Christian was waking up. The flutter of his eyelidsโas quick as a hummingbirdโs wingsโso fast you would miss it if you werenโt looking. The tremor in a finger. The twitch of his arm. A quiet sound deep in his throatโsomething between a sigh and a groan.Each action made me stiffen with anxiety and yearn with hope. It made me ache with the need for the next sign. I didnโt leave his side, even sleeping with my fingers interlocked with his. I rushed to the bathroom when needed, swallowed the food that appeared, and raced through the fastest showers I ever had in my life, returning with wet hair and the same determination in my heart. I read to him. Talked endlessly. Played recordings of Valerie singing and nattering away that Sarah sent me. I stretched and bent his limbs the way Colin had shown meโeasy movements to help his muscles stay active. I tried desperately not to get upset at the dead weigh
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-22A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 147
Christian said my name. Rough, hesitant, but it was my name. He looked at me, his eyes trying to focus as he blinked and stared. His gaze bounced from me to Maddox, who was smiling so hard, his eyes were small slits in his face.I leaned closer, not bothering to wipe the tears running down my face. โHello, my darling. I know youโre confused, but everything is okay. Iโm right here.โ โWh-where?โ โYouโre in the hospital.โ He furrowed his brow, his eyes drifting closed once again. โYou were in an accident.โ He opened his eyes. I watched him struggle to lift his hand, and I helped guide it to my face. His fingers jerked on my skin. โNo tears,โ he uttered, the words low and jagged. โI donโt like itโฆwhen you cry.โ That simple statement it took him such effort to say made me cry harder. He frowned. โH-Hazel?โ โYes,โ I sobbed. โIโm Hazel.โ He closed his eyes with a sigh. โIโฆfound you.โ I pressed my hand harder, brushing my lips over his cheeks. โIโve been waitin
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-23A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 148
I was already rushing toward the door when Carol opened it, looking for me. I heard the sound Christian made, even through the walls, and I knew he needed me.Screw protocol.I hurried to his bedside. He was almost panting in his panic, a sheen of sweat on his forehead. His hands were wrapped tight around the bed rails, and the stark fear in his eyes made my heart ache. I brushed my hand over his forehead, leaning in as close as I could. โShh, Christian, Iโm here, my love. Iโm here.โ My touch seemed to calm him. I ran my hand down his arm, loosening his grip from the metal. I intertwined our fingers, lifting his hand to my mouth. โRight here,โ I repeated, hating seeing him so unsettled, so vulnerable. So unlike the Christian I knew.Alan stood on the other side of his bed. โListen to your wife, Mr. Walker. Breathe with her and try to relax. Iโll explain more when youโre ready.โI pressed his hand to my chest and breathed long and slow. He struggled to calm down, finally relaxing, the
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-23A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 149
Christian looked determined the next morning, despite not sleeping well. He kept waking up all night, confused and worried. Even after I would get him settled, I felt the tension and concern radiating from him. He kept his eyes shut, but I knew he was pretending. I knew him well enough to know his mind would be racing, sorting and filing away all the information he had and figuring out how to deal with it. I wanted him to talk to me, yet I also knew that he needed to do this. It was the only way Christian could cope.He picked at his breakfast, pushed the food around with his spoon, made disgusted faces at the oatmeal and juice, before he finally pushed away the tray.โWhat time is Valerie coming?โ He asked, totally forgetting about the food. โValerie will be here in about an hour with Sarah and Grandpa. Mia has a little cold, so sheโs staying home, we canโt risk you getting infected or something. You have to see the doctor and the physio people this afternoon. I donโt want you to ge
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-24A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 150
Maddox came out of Christianโs room, his suitcase in hand. He had been a tower of strength for me, and I was going to miss him. But he had a wife that missed him, a job that had been pushed aside too long on our behalf, and a life he needed to return to.He dropped his case and swept me in for a hug. โIf you need me, Iโm a call away. I can be here in a day.โ โThank you for everything,โ I murmured, the words somehow inadequate. He pulled back. โItโs not going to be easy, Hazel. Be strong.โ He glanced at Christianโs closed door, a faint scowl on his face. โHeโs holding himself in.โ โI know.โ I had seen a subtle change in Christian the past few days. He spoke less, snapped more, and barely acknowledged the future. I watched him with the therapists. The determination I had seen the first day he woke was dimming. I encouraged himโeveryone didโreminding him it would take time and patience, and although he nodded, I worried he didnโt believe us. If he gave up, he had no ch
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-25A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 151
I stood back, watching Christian argue with Doris the entire time she got him ready for his shower. I refused to apologize. If this was his way of doing better, life was going to be hard for the next while.In the private bathroom, Doris lowered Christian into the enclosed bath chair. โAre you sure you can do this?โ she asked me. โI can get in a male orderly if you prefer.โ Christian hated strangers touching him, which was one reason he was being such a difficult patient. โNo, Iโll be fine.โ โAll right, Iโll leave you to it. Hit the call button when youโre ready, and weโll get him settled back into his room.โ She pulled the curtain closed, giving us privacy. I undressed, then slipped Christianโs gown from his shoulders, turning on the water and making sure it was warm. I adjusted the seat for him and let the water rain down on his head. He slumped forward, all the tension leaving his body. My anger slipped away at his posture, and I ran my hand over his shoulders. He gra
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-25A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 152
Christian didnโt appreciate any of the changes. In fact, they either annoyed him, or caused another outburst. The repositioning of the furniture in the family room to make space for the exercise equipment was met with a glare and a downturn of his mouth. The lowered cabinet so he could reach the Keurig and make coffee was greeted with silence. The rearrangement of his office and the added height to his desk so he could get his wheelchair tucked under the edge earned mutterings and a glower. Refusing to let him see my rising frustration, I opened the door to the new elevator with a flourish. โTa-da!โ โAre you fucking kidding me with this?โ he growled. โChristian!โ I gasped, indicating Valerie, who was staring at him with round eyes. โYou expect me to use that?โ He kept talking, ignoring the fact that he had dropped the f-bomb in front of our daughter and was acting like a jerk. I remained calm. โIf you want to get upstairs, you will.โ โThis is what yo
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-26A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 153
CHRISTIANโValerie, stop it,โ I ordered. โI canโt cope with you right now.โ She frowned, furrowing her brow the same way Hazel did when confused. Normally, I would find it adorableโtoday, I found it annoying. I glanced at my watch. How long was Hazel going to be in the shower? โWhatโs cope, Daddy?โ she asked, milk dripping from her spoon as she stared at me. I stifled my groan. She was getting milk everywhere-- on her face, her hair, on the table and on me. She was also chatting nonsense, the same way she did every morning, and usually it was endearing and I would listen to her intently, but things had changed, and I wasnโt in the mood. I was never in the mood anymore. My body ached, my head hurt, and I was impatient. I hadnโt slept well again, and all I wanted was to be alone. I needed time to think without people hovering and my thoughts always interrupted. โIt doesnโt matter,โ I snapped. She stared at me, her lip quivering. โIs you mad, Daddy?โโDaddy?โ
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-26
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A vow of hateย ย ย EPILOGUE
CHRISTIAN & HAZEL I chuckled as the doctor squirted the gel on Hazelโs tummy, making her squirm. Hazel always reacted to the cold. I kissed her and watched as the wand moved back and forth, and the image became clearer. โThereโs your baby.โ The doctor, Suzanne smiled, clicking and measuring. I held my breath as she turned on the sound, and I heard the heartbeat. The odd noise filled the room, the fast, steady sound like music to my ears. โYouโre sure you want to know the sex?โ โYes!โ Hazel and I exclaimed. โItโs a girl,โ Suzanne announced. I laughed. โIโm surrounded. My own little harem.โ Hazelโs eyes were focused on the screen. She tilted her head, looking confused. โIt all looks goodโฆโ Suzanneโs voice trailed off. I frowned at the subtle change in the noise. It was faster, like an echo of itself, the strumming continuous. โWell, look whoโs been hiding,โ Suzanne mused and glanced over at us. She grinned and winked at me. โYou did good, Christian.โ She peered at the screen in
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 169
HAZELI crawled into bed with Christian, snuggled into his side, and rested my head on his chest. He groaned as he shifted.โAre you all right?โ I asked, worried that I had hurt him.He nodded. โColin warned me that getting the sensation back in my legs was going to hurt. Heโs fucking right.โBetween rushing after Valerie, walking for everyone, moving around the house with his walker, and sitting on Valerieโs bed as he read to her for over an hour, I knew he was exhausted. But when I asked if he was ready to sleep, he said he wasnโt. I felt the same way too. Mentally, I was still wide awake. โDo you want some pain killers?โโNo. As weird as it sounds, I want to feel it. I never thought I would get to this point, so aches and all, Iโm going to go with it.โI laughed softly. โYouโre right, Christian. You are weird.โHe dragged her up his chest,causing a little gasp of surprise to escape me.โYou wanna help me forget about the aches, Hazel?โ he murmured in my ear, biting my lobe. โMake m
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 168
The room around me buzzed with activity. Voices, people moving, talking to me, trying to get my attention. I held my breath, scared that if I even so much as breathed, I would miss something important.My focus was on one thing. The doctor examining Valerie. I had insisted, and finally Hazel relented, seeing how upset I was about her. My wife glanced up, smiling as she lifted Valerie to her shoulder. She tilted her chin, letting me know everything was okay. A fact that she was certain of, but I needed to be sure. She handed Valerie over to me and escorted the doctor out and I relaxed, pressing a kiss to my daughterโs head. She looked up, wrinkling her nose.โHi, Daddy.โ โHey, baby girl.โ She patted my hand. โBoo-boo better,โ she cooed. โGood.โ โYeah, Daddy feels better.โ I brushed a curl off her face. โHow did you know?โ She pushed on my cheek with her tiny finger. โYou Daddy again. You smile.โ I dropped my head, pressing kisses all over her sweet little fa
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 167
I had never tried to comfort a person still caught between being a young man and a grown-ass adult. I had never reached out and been the role model.It was another lesson I was learning.Dennis was emotional. Filled with apologies. Begging for forgiveness. Once I broke through his stuttering words and barely held-back sobs, I set him straight.โWhat happened was not your fault. You didnโt put me in this wheelchair, Dennis. None of it is your doing. You need to stop blaming yourself.โโI canโt.โโYou can. Get some help. Iโll ask Randy to take you on. He is an amazing person to help you sort things out and get your head straight.โ I barked out a laugh. โIf he can handle my shit, he can help you.โโBut heโs here.โโYes,โ I agreed. โWhich is where you need to be. You have a life waiting here for you, Dennis. A job youโre good at. Friends. Family.โ I huffed out a breath. โDonโt let that day define you. Move past it.โโThe guilt,โ he said quietly. โIt holds me hostage. That Iโm walking arou
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 166
I grabbed her hips, guiding her. Pushing her up and pulling her back down. She sobbed my name, her back arching as her release washed through her. I watched as she lost herself in the moment. I had forgotten how beautiful she was in her release. The way her entire frame shuddered. How she bit her lip and lowered her chin as if sinking into the feeling. The breathiness of my name falling from her lips. And how it felt when her muscles fluttered, tightened around me, taking all I hadโgiving me so much more.My body strained, the urge to thrust and grind against her eclipsing everything else. An orgasm hit me, obliterating everything in its path. I saw stars, the ecstasy was so great. I opened my mouth in a soundless scream, and somewhere, deep inside, I felt a flex, the pinching of muscles not used for so long now gripping, then vanishing as fast as they had engaged. A long, agonized sound escaped as my entire being surrendered. The pain, the pleasure, the sweet torture of it all.Hazel
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 165
CHRISTIANThe taste and feel of my wife chased away the last lingering remnants of my dream. Hazel wasnโt walking away. She was right here, with me, in my arms.Right where she should be.I kissed her deeply, seeking out her tongue with mine, stroking hard and deep. Reclaiming her mouth. Reclaiming her. I yanked her tight to my chest, pulling off the towel she had draped around her body. I pushed down the blanket that covered me, needing to feel her. I dragged her over my lap, groaning at the feel of her weight pressing down on me. Still kissing her, I slid my hands over her silken thighs, parting them and settling her so she straddled me.She pulled back, gasping. โIs this okay?โโFucking yes, itโs okay.โ I pressed my mouth to her neck, licking up the damp, elegant column of her throat. โItโs fucking perfect.โ I murmured. โYouโre so perfect for me, Haze. And Iโm such an idiot. Everything that has happened, it only made you stronger, but not meโฆ I got weak.โShe grabbed my face, holdi
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 164
Valerieโs feet kicked in excitement as we turned down the street. I smiled at her in the rearview mirror.โDaddy waiting!โ she crowed.I felt both excitement and trepidation as I pulled into the driveway. I wanted to come home so much, yet I was afraid of what was going to happen when we were alone. Would Christian continue moving forward, or would our presence once again cause him to slide backward? Once he got over the initial pleasure of seeing his child, would he again find her, and me, more of a bother? I wasnโt sure I could take it if that happened. I couldnโt watch the man I love disappear into the shell he used to be. But a small voice in my head kept telling me he wouldnโt. The gifts, the notes, the calls, and texts from him were all sent by the man I loved. He had made sure I knew how sorry he was feeling and how hard he was working to come back to us. He even opened up and expressed his worries, finally letting me know the depth of his fears. Finally letting me understand w
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 163
HAZELChristian lifted his face from my neck, his eyes red, his cheeks damp. I had never witnessed him break down that way. The rare occasions when he cried, he still held himself in check, his pride unable to allow even me to fully see his pain. I grabbed the tissues Maddox had dropped beside us and wiped Christianโs face, cupping his cheeks. โHey,โ I whispered, looking up at him from where I crouched between his legs. โI guess I lost the last piece of my man card with that display,โ he mumbled.โI doubt it. Maddox was openly weeping before you even finished walking, and Mia had to leave the room.โ He frowned in confusion. โWhy?โ โTheyโre as proud of you as I am, Christian.โ โWhere are they?โ โMaddox made sure you were back in your chair, and they left. I heard the car driving away, so I assumed they left to give us some privacy.โ He looked down, surprised. โI have no recollection of being moved.โ I softened my voice. โYou were pretty emotional.โ
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 162
Hazel loved the spa. She sent pictures of them all enjoying the treatments, sipping champagne, even funny ones of Valerie getting a baby massage and having her toes done with the girls, holding up a glass of apple juice. They made me smile, even as my heart ached. I sent flowers to the hotel for Hazel. I added a box of her preferred chocolates. When she went back to mom and Grandpaโs, I sent a chef to make her favorite meal. A basket of bath products to indulge her love of soaking in the tub. I sent it with a stuffed bear, fluffy and cute with a card attached, reading: "Snuggle this until youโre home. Iโll take his place when youโre ready. All my loveโYour Christian". One night, lying in our bed alone, I turned on some music. I shut my eyes and listened as the soothing voice of Neil Diamond played in the darkness. A song came on, and for some reason, the lyrics hit me as they never had before. โThe Story of My Lifeโ spoke of the depth of his love for the woman in his life
