Hope
For the rest of the week, I threw myself into my unread novels and my job at Joe's. Lesley was busy too; trying to work her shifts while helping me locate my baby daddy's whereabouts.
Apparently, it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, and turns out, he was a hard man to find. I admit it did get me riled up. I mean, choosing to keep this child was a tough decision. What if Lesley never found him and I had to raise my child alone without child support or a father figure?
Needless to say, by Wednesday, I felt much better.
I'd visited the hospital for an official report. Thankfully, a local clinic took me in, though they made me wait a day.
Later that evening, I called my mom to check on her, I felt guilty hiding the fact of my pregnancy from her but I didn't think she was ready to know. Most especially when she still played matchmaker and tried setting up blind dates with every single hot-looking bachelor in her block.
She proceeded to tell me about her job and her comfortable has been. She worked as a nurse in one of the local suburban retirement homes.
"How are things with you, Hope?"
For a moment, I hesitated. "I'm fine. The weather is great here and business is going well." And I'm pregnant for a stranger and throwing up all damn morning.
"Have you met someone yet?"
The excitement in her voice was palpable.
"No, Mom," I was at a stage in my life where the least of my worries was finding a man. They were all the same. All they did was put in so much effort to woo you, going above and beyond just to court you, but the moment they start getting used to you, they start getting bored, then they break your heart, throw it into the gutters, and move on to the next unfortunate victim.
Take my recent disaster, Milton for example. I met him on tinder two years ago. He was a Spanish-American who spoke two languages and worked at NYU as a professor in English.
Charming right?
When I first saw his profile, I thought he was just another Tinder swindler, or a really hot guy with a dick pic on standby, but turns out, he was different. He was charming, sweet, and knew the difference between 'I am' and 'am' which you'd be surprised by.
When he'd asked me out, I agreed without a second thought. He seemed to be everything I wanted in a man. We went on multiple dates and did cute things together, had vanilla sex. Gosh, I believed he was the one, I believed without the barest hint of doubt that he was my perfect match, my right swipe— the man I'd be spending the rest of my life with and I hadn't expected him to cheat, but he did; with Thelma, his boss who, dare I say, was twice my age and had the sex appeal of a blobfish.
You see, that right there was the deal breaker for me, and It was a horrible, confusing, heartbreaking truth but, after all my consecutive relationships turned out to be colossal failures, absolutely worthless, and a total waste of precious time, I finally decided that I was never going to find myself true love or a decent man to love. So I took a hiatus from dating and spent my money on vibrators instead.
"Honey." Mum's voice snapped me out of my tailspin. "You really need to get out more. You worry me. You're almost 27, you need to settle."
"Mom, I'm fine okay. You don't have to worry."
Friday morning, I was pacing around the locker room in Joe's diner while waiting for Lesley to show up.
I had barely gotten any sleep the night before because the moment she told me she'd found him, everything fell out of place.
"Hey knocked-up best friend," She teased the moment she walked through the doors but I was in no mood for teases.
"What did you find."
"Sheesh, why are you in a rush?"
"Lesley please." I beckoned. "I'm really not in the mood for jokes."
"Fine, fine." She sighed. "Well as you know, I found him, and turns out he's a big shot in Haight-Ashbury. Though I couldn't pull up much, I got his business card. You should call and set up a meeting."
My heart clenched and I felt a push in my gut.
"Here." She reached into her bag and handed me the card. I accepted it with shaky hands and stared down at the digits.
It had been over two months now and he probably forgot I existed. I bit my lip. He didn't even peg as the type of guy who would want to be tied down by a child with a fling and judging by our encounter, I could tell he was a raging Playboy.
"Call him," Lesley urged, countering my thoughts.
"I'm scared Les, what if he doesn't want the baby, I mean, I want my child to have a family but what if he doesn't want any part in this?"
"Then it's his loss." She clucked her tongue. "Just call him, okay, that's probably the right thing to do. If he doesn't want anything to do with it, we can make him pay for child support."
Gosh, her words sounded so convincing but I didn't want to have to face him. I wasn't sure I could.
As if reading my thoughts, she patted my shoulder. "I know everyone likes the easy way out of life, but this isn't something you can avoid. Call him. Say you need to talk and go somewhere private to do it."
I sucked in a huge breath and then turned to my cellphone. She was right. Yep, she was totally right. It didn't matter if he wanted to be part of my baby's life or not. I was just going to tell him and get it over with.
Yes, I was going to tell him.
I had to. No matter the outcome.
For a moment, my fingers hovered over the green call button, my heart skipping beats.
Do this Hope.
I took a deep breath, and pressed "call."
HopeThe subway ride from Bayview to Powell street was long and I had to endure the cacophony of noise usually brought about by people constantly fighting over free seats. Fast forward half an hour later and I was standing in front of an enormous lobby whilst running my hand over the red dress Lesley had picked out for me. Taking a deep breath in and adjusting my little dress one more time, I made my way through the entrance.The receptionist; a flawlessly dressed auburn-haired girl around my age sat behind a marbled desk. She smiled pleasantly at me. "How can I help you?""Hi, yes, please. I'm here to see Killian Fobster." "Is he expecting you?""I called to schedule a meeting yesterday.""What is your name?""Hope Sterling."She smiled. "Excuse me one moment, Ms. Sterling," she consulted something behind her desk for a moment. "Great, you are expected. Please take the last elevator on the right to the sixteenth floor."After handing me a security tag stamped with the company's lo
KillianI'd never felt so disgusted in my life. Pregnant? By me? Bullshit. It couldn't be me, I was careful, I always was. And I should've been working instead of downing my third glass of alcohol but that bitch undid me and completely fucked up the rest of my day. Perhaps my week. Fuck. She'd left me unable to focus on work, and all I could do was curse under my breath and gulp more chugs as I thought back to the night I'd fucked her with abandon. I lifted the glass to my lips, letting the final drops slide into my mouth. Strictly speaking, it wasn't any of my business thinking back to that night but Hope was shaping up to be the major cause of my trainwreck, and right now, I wasn't sure of anything anymore. What if... She hadn't been lying? The look on her face should have been enough to make me believe her but I just didn't want it to be true. What if there was a slight chance that she was pregnant with a child, with my child. A child that I most de
HopeI tried to get enough air, I tried to breathe properly, but the pain I felt was so intense that I wasn't sure I could win the battle. My arms wrapped tightly around myself. It felt like I was falling apart. I'd never felt this way before. It was new. Unwanted. I never wanted to experience it again. "Hope, please tell me what went wrong," Lesley implored, handing me another roll of tissue wipes. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened." I shook my head, tears falling from both sides of my eyes as I blew into the wipe and tossed it aside. I made a total fool of myself. Stupid, stupid! What was I honestly expecting? Lesley bit her lip, blowing a heavy huff of what could only be frustration. "You burst inside your house bawling your eyes out, and now you expect me to sit and watch like nothing happened?" I closed my eyes, inhaled, and forced myself to stop crying. Killian Fobster was an asshole who didn't deserve my tears. He didn't deserve this
Killian My life was pretty easygoing. Wanted a Rolls-Royce Sweptail? I got a Rolls-Royce Sweptail. Wanted to spend a month in Switzerland? I spent a month in Switzerland. Wanted a penthouse apartment with a view of the big city? I bought a penthouse apartment. For as long as I could remember, I lived my life how I wanted— controlling the outcomes and everything else that revolved around it—but recently everything was starting to fall out of place and it began about the time that woman with the body of the devil and face of an angel walked into my office. I tried but I just couldn't understand why such a woman intrigued me. I usually preferred my women glamorous and stylish with confidence and experience and a heavily endowed body to go with it. Hope sterling was none of that. She was timid and plain and too innocuous for my liking, and after that night, she should've been out of my head and long-forgotten but up until this very moment, she taunted my mind with an intoxicati
HopeRejection tasted bitter in my mouth. It'd been two days but it still lingered. I groaned as I dragged myself out of the comforts of my bed and headed to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee. I'd probably need some ice too if I wanted to look anyway respectable for work. And yes I knew taking coffee wasn't healthy considering I was pregnant but a cup never hurt anyone. I slumped on the kitchen counter as I filled my mug. Today I was dragging, I'd drained myself from staying up last night. I shouldn't have stayed past my bedtime reading but it was the only solace I could find at that hour and I totally had to find out what happened to Ace after Sofia...you know... I was paying for it now. Soon enough, I arrived at work and got behind the booth. I tossed on my work outfit and began my shift even though it felt as though I was going to pass out any minute. According to the brochure I acquired from the hospital, my morning sickness shouldn't have been ge
Killian"Does he have to be in here?" Hope asked, glaring at me as I plopped down on the stool at the other side of the exam table. The tech tossed her an odd look. "Isn't he your husband?"Husband? Was this woman blind or did she not see the way we irritated each other?"I do not have all day, please proceed and stop listening to whatever this crazy woman is saying." I scowled, fidgeting with my watch, twisting it back and forth. It was my nervous habit, and right now I was pretty nervous. "You're the crazy one," Hope muttered, laying straight on the exam table. I ignored her."Cute couples," the woman chuckled, shaking her head in muse as she draped a blanket over her thighs and lifted her dress to squirt ultrasound gel all over her belly. As she began to move the transducer around, I kept my eyes focused on the TV screen mounted high on the wall in front of me. At first, it was just a blur of black and white. I was calm, there was nothing to worry about. But when she stopped m
"I'm going to be a father." I dodged out of the way the moment Brad's drink broke out of his mouth in a spray that stained the wooden bar and the tender who quickly came down with a rag like he had expected nothing less. "What the fuck!" My blonde-haired friend exclaimed, wiping away the moisture with the back of his hand as he doubled over to release a burst of deep boisterous laughter that made curious heads turn our way, and maybe if I wasn't in such a horrid state of dilemma, I would have found it comical enough to laugh too, but I was.Apparently, rock bottom had a basement and I was currently living in it.I picked up my translucent glass, frustration nibbling on the edges of my nerves as I gulped down a mouthful.Frankly, there was a part of me that wasn't happy about it. Knocking Hope up was the last thing I wanted to do and it wasn't helping my case that I craved having her again. I leaned back into my leather chair and fiddled with my watch. All day long I hadn't been abl
HopeAs Killian had said, his driver showed up exactly on time and picked me up. The evening air was brisk and breezy and the traffic downtown was heavy no surprise.When the car finally pulled up in front of a towering building, I quickly thanked him, stepped out, and brushed my hands nervously over my skirt. The moment the doorman ushered me into the softly lit expensive restaurant, a model-thin beautiful waiter dressed in native Chinese apparel approached me."Ms. Sterling, the gentleman is waiting for you."I smiled, gripping my beaded purse more tightly in my moist hand as I stepped forward.The waiter led me down a dark hall that had a walkway lined with tall bamboo trees. We passed an opening to a large seating area and once we reached the end of the hall, she opened a door and motioned for me to step. Cautions, I nodded a thank you and entered. It was a small room widely decorated with flowers and Chinese lanterns.It didn't take long for me to spot Killian. He sat leg-cross