Hope
I tried to get enough air, I tried to breathe properly, but the pain I felt was so intense that I wasn't sure I could win the battle. My arms wrapped tightly around myself. It felt like I was falling apart. I'd never felt this way before. It was new. Unwanted. I never wanted to experience it again.
"Hope, please tell me what went wrong," Lesley implored, handing me another roll of tissue wipes. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."
I shook my head, tears falling from both sides of my eyes as I blew into the wipe and tossed it aside. I made a total fool of myself.
Stupid, stupid! What was I honestly expecting?
Lesley bit her lip, blowing a heavy huff of what could only be frustration. "You burst inside your house bawling your eyes out, and now you expect me to sit and watch like nothing happened?"
I closed my eyes, inhaled, and forced myself to stop crying. Killian Fobster was an asshole who didn't deserve my tears. He didn't deserve this baby.
"Fine, don't tell me," Lesley spoke after a minute of staring at me. "But I'm not going to stay here and watch you cry. I'm leaving."
She got up abruptly, about to walk out on me. That was the last thing I needed right now. "Lesley..." My voice broke. I couldn't even make out words. She turned to stare at me and looking at her brought fresh tears to my face. "He rejected it...he...he told me to get out of his office...he..."
I choked and lowered my head down. Shame pricked my chest. I'd never felt so useless in my entire life and I just wanted to end this. I wanted to end it all.
"Hope." I felt her wrap her hand around me as she came back to sit. "If he doesn't want anything to do with it, that's his loss. We can still make him pay for child support or something." She wiped my tears away with the back of her hand. "Who needs a man anyway, there are a lot of happy single mothers out there. Besides you have me."
My shoulders shook with a pathetic laugh. "What do you know about pregnancies?"
She shrugged. "Not much but I'll rub your feet when you're all cranky, and, I could follow you to those weird check-up sections."
"You mean ultrasound?"
She nodded. "I'm your best friend too, Hope. I love you and want what's best for you and I'm not going to leave your side for anything."
I nodded and thanked her, just about when my front door opened and there was only one person who owned a spare key to my apartment.
"Hope?! You home?!"
I felt the air leave my lungs in a whoosh. It was Scott. My brother.
I looked up at Lesley, eyes wide with fright. "Oh my God, I don't want him to find out like this Lesley."
I couldn't, I didn't want to tell him, he'd be so disappointed.
Lesley took my hand in hers, silencing my irrational rambling.
"Tell him, Hope, this is the only chance you're gonna get."
"Hope?" He called from the small foyer. "Where are you?"
I bit my lip, scared to go to him, scared to tell him the truth.
"Hope?" He called again, sounding aggravated. "You're freaking me out here, where the hell are you?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat and then yelled meekly. "I'm in my room."
It didn't take him more than a few seconds to appear in my bedroom, standing tall in his favorite brown Cashmere sweater.
The silence that flowed between us was despicable. He audited me, his brow cocking curiously. "Hope, everything okay?" I slowly shook my head. Everything was not okay. Everything was never going to be okay."I'll be in the kitchen," Lesley announced, rubbing my shoulders gently before getting up and walking away.
"Why are your eyes puffy?" He moved forward, coming to sit by my side. He smelled nice, like fresh lilies and baby powder. "Have you been crying again?"
I gulped, trying to suck back in the tears that gathered in my eyes but they just wouldn't dry up.
"Did you fail another job interview?"
I shook my head, covering my face with my hands. Telling Lesley about my pregnancy was one thing, but this— I couldn't.
"Okay Hope, you're starting to really scare me here," he lifted my chin, locking me in the ambush of his gaze. "Please say something."
One look in those eyes sent the tears running back into my eyes. God, I was pathetic.
"Come on, talk to me," he prodded, brushing away my tears with the backs of his fingers. "Talk to me, baby."
I sniffed and turned away, silently whispering the words, "I'm pregnant." to him.
Scott blinked, staring at me like I had just grown a second head. "Excuse me?"
I turned my head, my words the same as the last. "I'm pregnant, Scott."
He jerked away slowly, his next words burning out of his throat like acid. "What, how, when did this happen?"
I let loose a deep breath. "Two months ago, I—"
"You've been pregnant for two months?" He asked, cutting my stream of words short.
My throat tightened. I wanted to argue, to convince him somehow that it was a terrible mistake, but how could I?
"I only found out a couple of days ago. I had no idea I was pregnant all these weeks."
"Who else knows about this, does Lesley know?" He hand raked his hair. "Oh, why do I even bother, of course, she does."
"Hey don't bring me into this," Lesley called from the kitchen, clearly eavesdropping.
He whipped his head to the side to regard me.
"And am I to assume you know who the father is?"
"Apparently...he's a CEO of this huge company; Fobster financial."
His eyes widened and his nostrils flared with barely encompassed fury. "Killian Fobster? you're pregnant for that asshole?!"
"You know him?"
Disgust dripped from every pore on his face. "Yes, I do. He's an asshole who treats people like shit. When did that bastard take advantage of you and why didn't you tell me?!"
"He didn't take advantage of me. It was mutual."
"He should have damn well used protection!"
"We did... Accidents happen."
"Accidents happen?! How could you have been so careless? You know better than this!"
"It was just one night...and i—"
"Does mother know?"
My head shot up. "She can't know, not yet."
His jaw tightened. "You expect me to lie to her?"
"Please, I'll tell her when I'm ready."
"And when is that going to be?!"
He was yelling at me now and I was becoming emotional, more emotional than usual, and I hadn't realized it yet but the tears just kept falling as I yelled back at him. "I am going through a lot right now Scott! Don't you think I realize how fucked up this situation is! I'm pregnant! I'm fucking pregnant! And I'm freaking out! So can you just stop yelling at me!" My temper flared hot in my chest.
His expression softened.
"Shit, I'm sorry Hope, you're pregnant, this is so fucked up, shit.""I know," I muttered, shoulders dropping in resignation.
After a short pause, he asked. "Do you want to keep it?"
"Yes." I hadn't been so sure before but now I was.
He nodded thoughtfully. "Does Killian know, what did he say about it?"
"He wants nothing to do with it."
"He said that?"
I nodded.
"I swear to God, I'm going to fucking kill him."
"No Scott, you're not."
"Fuck that." He made a move to get up but I dragged him back down next to me and held his arm tightly. "Please don't do anything. I was the one who fucked up, I went to the club that night and decided to drink even though I knew how bad it was. I made a total fool of myself, I'm a total slut."
"Don't you ever say that about yourself," he held my arm, the rawness of his words making me look up at him with watery eyes. "Regardless of the situation and how you got into it, none of that makes you a slut. I never want to hear you disregard yourself like that again. Ever," his voice held a hint of compassion and aggression.
"Scott..." My throat slowly tightened and my nose started to burn.
"Fuck. I don't care if he is interested in the child or not, I'll take care of you okay. You're my baby sister and nothing is gonna change that. Now I don't want to see you cry over this anymore." He pulled me into a hug, his broad frame acting as a support as he all but whispered words of encouragement to me.
"I'm sorry," I croaked, clenching him tighter.
"For today, I'll let you cry all you want. After this, you clean your eyes and hold your head high, you understand?"
I held him tighter and nodded, letting the tears fall.
I understood.
Killian My life was pretty easygoing. Wanted a Rolls-Royce Sweptail? I got a Rolls-Royce Sweptail. Wanted to spend a month in Switzerland? I spent a month in Switzerland. Wanted a penthouse apartment with a view of the big city? I bought a penthouse apartment. For as long as I could remember, I lived my life how I wanted— controlling the outcomes and everything else that revolved around it—but recently everything was starting to fall out of place and it began about the time that woman with the body of the devil and face of an angel walked into my office. I tried but I just couldn't understand why such a woman intrigued me. I usually preferred my women glamorous and stylish with confidence and experience and a heavily endowed body to go with it. Hope sterling was none of that. She was timid and plain and too innocuous for my liking, and after that night, she should've been out of my head and long-forgotten but up until this very moment, she taunted my mind with an intoxicati
HopeRejection tasted bitter in my mouth. It'd been two days but it still lingered. I groaned as I dragged myself out of the comforts of my bed and headed to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee. I'd probably need some ice too if I wanted to look anyway respectable for work. And yes I knew taking coffee wasn't healthy considering I was pregnant but a cup never hurt anyone. I slumped on the kitchen counter as I filled my mug. Today I was dragging, I'd drained myself from staying up last night. I shouldn't have stayed past my bedtime reading but it was the only solace I could find at that hour and I totally had to find out what happened to Ace after Sofia...you know... I was paying for it now. Soon enough, I arrived at work and got behind the booth. I tossed on my work outfit and began my shift even though it felt as though I was going to pass out any minute. According to the brochure I acquired from the hospital, my morning sickness shouldn't have been ge
Killian"Does he have to be in here?" Hope asked, glaring at me as I plopped down on the stool at the other side of the exam table. The tech tossed her an odd look. "Isn't he your husband?"Husband? Was this woman blind or did she not see the way we irritated each other?"I do not have all day, please proceed and stop listening to whatever this crazy woman is saying." I scowled, fidgeting with my watch, twisting it back and forth. It was my nervous habit, and right now I was pretty nervous. "You're the crazy one," Hope muttered, laying straight on the exam table. I ignored her."Cute couples," the woman chuckled, shaking her head in muse as she draped a blanket over her thighs and lifted her dress to squirt ultrasound gel all over her belly. As she began to move the transducer around, I kept my eyes focused on the TV screen mounted high on the wall in front of me. At first, it was just a blur of black and white. I was calm, there was nothing to worry about. But when she stopped m
"I'm going to be a father." I dodged out of the way the moment Brad's drink broke out of his mouth in a spray that stained the wooden bar and the tender who quickly came down with a rag like he had expected nothing less. "What the fuck!" My blonde-haired friend exclaimed, wiping away the moisture with the back of his hand as he doubled over to release a burst of deep boisterous laughter that made curious heads turn our way, and maybe if I wasn't in such a horrid state of dilemma, I would have found it comical enough to laugh too, but I was.Apparently, rock bottom had a basement and I was currently living in it.I picked up my translucent glass, frustration nibbling on the edges of my nerves as I gulped down a mouthful.Frankly, there was a part of me that wasn't happy about it. Knocking Hope up was the last thing I wanted to do and it wasn't helping my case that I craved having her again. I leaned back into my leather chair and fiddled with my watch. All day long I hadn't been abl
HopeAs Killian had said, his driver showed up exactly on time and picked me up. The evening air was brisk and breezy and the traffic downtown was heavy no surprise.When the car finally pulled up in front of a towering building, I quickly thanked him, stepped out, and brushed my hands nervously over my skirt. The moment the doorman ushered me into the softly lit expensive restaurant, a model-thin beautiful waiter dressed in native Chinese apparel approached me."Ms. Sterling, the gentleman is waiting for you."I smiled, gripping my beaded purse more tightly in my moist hand as I stepped forward.The waiter led me down a dark hall that had a walkway lined with tall bamboo trees. We passed an opening to a large seating area and once we reached the end of the hall, she opened a door and motioned for me to step. Cautions, I nodded a thank you and entered. It was a small room widely decorated with flowers and Chinese lanterns.It didn't take long for me to spot Killian. He sat leg-cross
KillianMy office was a warzone. They kept coming in herds; the interview requests, emails concerning wedding bookings, bouquets of congratulatory flowers, and worst of all, constant calls from my stepmother."Killian? Are you still there?" She inquired from three thousand miles away in Ireland and I pinched the bridge of my nose, regretting why I canceled my lunch meeting just to hear her blab about things that concerned my supposed wedding. "Yes, mother," I answered groggily, still a bit woozy from waking up with a raging hangover."You need to bring her home, your father wants the wedding here, you know how traditional he can be.""Mother." I took a deep breath, willing myself to calm down. "For the tenth time, I have heard all you said and will discuss this with my fiancee. Rest assured, you will hear from us soon.""How soon, I need to meet this girlfriend of yours and see if she's well suited for you.""Soon mother, soon." Irritation pricked at me. "I have to go now, I am busy
Hope When the knock first sounded on the door, I didn't bother getting off the couch because I was currently elbowed deep in scooping my ice cream and pizza combo, and at this juncture, nothing was worth putting it down for. But when the knocking persisted, I forced myself up, feeling a slight pang in my belly which must have come from vomiting half the day. You know, most women finished with morning sickness and nausea after the first two months. Not me, I still woke up every day feeling like I had the flu. Brushing my hair out of my face, I walked to the front door, silently praying it wasn't my landlady coming to get me. I heaved out a soft exhale and opened the door and one look at the person standing in front of it made my stomach churn in a not-so-pleasant way. "What are you doing here?" "Well, I—" he started but paused when his eyes lowered to my chest. And then his brows cocked up inquisitively. "Why are your tits like that?" I looked down at my
When Killian broke away from my lips, he didn't pull away, instead, a smug smile crawled on his lips at the sight of my brother's perplexed face."Hey," he proceeded. "You must be..." He wrinkled his forehead as though it was a difficult thing to remember. "Ah yes! Scott is it? It's a great pleasure meeting you again, although I'd hoped we'd met in a much different circumstance."I bit the inside of my cheek and slowly peeked to the side. One look at Scott's horrified expression made my gut tighten. I turned away swiftly, attempting to tug my body away from Killian's but he didn't relent."What the fuck is this?" The grocery bags in his hand dropped to the ground with a thud, his eyes narrowing to slits as he stormed towards us.Shit."Killian, let me go." I urged, trying to break free from his grasp but he held me tight. "Killian he's going to —"Before I could as much as get my words out, I was pushed away to the side, left to watch as my brother threw all of his weight behind a pun