CHAPTER 40

Lyra's POV.

I was beginning to get flashes but because he was trying to threaten me into submission I needed to fight my way out.

I didn't see any clear visions anymore and I guess it was just because I was panicky at some point and I was trying to think of ways to just beat the entire thing and that was not making any sense to me no matter how much I tried to push it into the peripheral view.

It was almost like something was lost and I was trying some hard to begin it but it was not just working for me and I needed to result into thinking straight and coming back to terrorists with the fact that some things were just better left unsaid and that it was going to complicate matters as time went on which was quite a number of disappointment that I have been facing

"What do you mean you've not been able to communicate with such stuff?" Ask me without having clean knowledge about what I was talking about and I didn't think that I wanted to push further because at some point I was going to have to agree within myself that there was even more problems than I wanted to face and in that case I had to be very careful or else I was going to lose it all and then I will have to start all over from scratch

"There's no way I can explain this to you without sounding boot because there's absolutely no way that anybody can push for these things to happen on their own except the moon goddess wants to show me something and I don't think that she's in the mood to do any of that right now especially when you want to turn me into a seer."

I was more than annoyed with the way he was trying to push for it and make it look like I was not doing anything to save them or help them out and that was not even the case in this scenario

If everything was all about them then what did I have to myself besides just going head to head with whatever they had planned? It wasn't right for anybody and neither was it right for someone like me too.

I deserved all the accolades that I could get on all the patients that I could always receive, not what he was trying to push on me at all costs and make me wonder if I was the one with the problems because that was not even right at all.

Camille dragged me backwards not wanting me to get into a problem with him which I didn't mind.

Instead it was going to act as a reminder for me whenever I forgot my place and I was trying to feel more important than usual it was going to tell me that around here nobody really cared about the next person or they wanted to do was to use you according to what they wanted and don't be when they were done.

"You are taking this the wrong way and I don't want you to do that to yourself because at some point you're going to start resenting everybody around here and that's not even why we brought you around. We want you to be free and be able to do whatever you please but at the same time also help us win this battle."

Winning the battle was not as easy as they wanted it to look and I could already tell that there was a lot of desperation in the air and everybody was looking for ways that things were going to suit them better and while I understood it at some point I was beginning to get tired.

We didn't have to always fight each other just to be able to get each other to do the right thing and after some point I was going to begin to fight and revolt from my own sanity to make sure that I had everything straight and covered up and nothing else by any means was going to make me feel like I was doing the less.

"I understand where you are driving out with this but it's not going to work with someone like me so you have to make sure that you get something else or somebody else that's going to fulfill your fantasies and leave me out of this." I said.

It was not supposed to be that way especially with all the things that have been happening but I didn't mind and I was really going to go for it as long as it was going to make me happy.

The rest of the people could go to hell for all I cured. I did whatever I believed I deserved and at some points I knew that I would have to start all over again but that was the best thing that I could do for them right now and if they were not happy with it...

"Look what I didn't ask the way of retaliating and I think that you should get ready for everything that's going to be happening because at some point to me you are going to get tired of doing all the things for you and you have to start pulling your weight around here." Camille hit me with the harshest truth.

I had not been joking earlier on when I said that I didn't really care about whatever they were trying to push.

I was also not joking about the fact that it was going to take a whole lot of effort to be able to or put me from both. I believed I was doing right and they had a long way to go just to fulfill this.

I had nothing in common with any of these people and no matter how much they wanted to prove to themselves that I was the same like them I was always going to make them realized that it's wasn't and good never make any sense to me

So I put my foot down on what I should have done a long time ago and looked them straight in the eyes, deciding that it was all my foot all along because I had been the one who had been not careful enough not to make sure that there was nothing like that repeating itself again.

"I say what's going on and I can already understand it but at what point are we going to always tell each other the truth without losing our minds in the process? I understand your plight and no matter how much I try, I already know how this is going to end so big for you to listen to whatever I have to say instead of just throwing it off."

It was my way of making them know that I was ready to do whatever I wanted to do and that nobody could force me into submission.

I was either going to be ready for them or I was never going to be.

As long as I was involved it was going to be two things and I didn't think that they had a right over which it was going to be and at some point they had to come to terms without and if that was settled then there was nothing else that was holding any of us back.

We had a long way to go and my desire will start we will be able to complete it before it was too late

I also had so many things in mind that I was trying to build to a certain point before I started revolting or doing any other things that I had been doing.

"We have to come to an agreement and it's going to be as fast as possible so that nobody feels cheated in the long run." I said.

It was quite amazing that both of us could not come to terms in a clean language with each other and we just had to rely on the fact that we didn't want any complications.

"If I'm going to be doing this for you then I need something in return. I need something that proves your loyalty. I don't trust anything that comes out of people's mouth except they show me more reasons why I should. So you're going to pardon my excesses while I tell you that I'm not really keen on being a conduit." I declared.

We had a little stare off, but I wanted them to know that in cases like this I would always emerge the winner not because I could, but because I was willing to take the risks of making sure that most of them remained just the way I wanted it.

"The moon goddess doesn't want to be cheated, and even if we have a lot of disagreements we can always resolve it before it becomes larger than life." I reminded them softly.

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