CHAPTER 39

Lyra's POV.

Baked in sweat, that was exactly how I felt when it's came down to handling the issues like I should have done a long time ago and I was sitting contemplating if my decisions were right or not that was when I knew that there was a whole lot of craziness to come to terms with it.

I had already figured out that if I wanted to sort out a few things I needed to be as fast as possible in making sure that I got everybody and everyone was on my side before it was too late

I had absolutely nothing to lose if I didn't know what everybody expected of me and at the same time I had a lot of things to lose if I did it.

There was no need for me beating around the bush or trying to pretend like I didn't know that this entire war was because of me.

Lucius stepped out wherever he had been hiding and came directly for me holding my arms like we are both friends.

"How have you been holding up especially after realizing that you might be the one leading us? We need a lot of people that are going to help us with this." He complained

Of course he was going to say this as nonchalantly as possible while trying to make it look like I was the one. I was not even bothered about that since I just wanted to see how far we could get yeah losing everything.

I wanted to help them to the best of my capacity and I was hoping that I was going to get such determination and dedication in return or else it was a waste of time and I was not willing to complicate my life on any of these standards anymore.

It was nothing in regards to what needed to be done and then I had to also come up with other ideas that were going to last for a longer time and what I was currently seeing.

"You don't want me to get involved. If I do it's going to ruin everything and I don't want you to be ruined in the bid of wanting something different. You know how that goes?"

I was just trying to distract him for a minute so that he didn't come back and start looking for things that did not even exist because I couldn't give it to him

All I wanted to do right now what's to relax and lay somewhere where I could prop my feet against a stool. I'm just getting relaxed and have nothing to do with any of the things that they have been discussing.

It was going to disgust me even more if I had to continue this line of this question for a long time because at some point I was going to start losing my mind and I didn't get anybody was contemplating that it was all about them

"I can see that you are having a lot of difficulty coming to time with the latest issues and and and quite understand you perfectly but I still think that we have to work hand in time differently meaning any format so which one is right now."

Lucius wasn't really direct with his attraction to me but I could sense it and that was why I could get away with virtually anything that I wanted to do not because I was that smart, but because he wanted me to do whatever I wanted and I knew that it irritated Camille.

"You and I do not have to be enemies over many things right? We can always find a common ground even if we don't see things the same way. What do you think about that?"

Asking me about what I thought was giving him license to go ahead with whatever you wanted to do at what point did I look like a fool to him that was not going to be able to read through the lines and see what he was trying to drive?

"I don't think that it is good for people who have a weird perception about me especially with all the things that have been happening lately? It's about time that it's going to ruin the entire experience and I don't want that to keep happening under my watch."

That was the limit excuse that I could have ever given regarding stuff like this but I was going to take it instead of just letting it slide like that.

They had to be somebody that was going to stand in the gap and make it known that they were not going to compromise their values even if I had been rejected.

I wasn't going to jump into the arms of any other man just because I wanted to prove a point to a person, move on and taste life and everything was going fine from the look of things.

"Do you still have some feelings for our mind because that's the only reason you're going to reject my advances even though you know what I want from you." He was directed this time.

I didn't know how to let him down gently without making him look like he had wasted his entire time and resources on someone like me which was the truth because I didn't see him in that light no matter how much he wanted me to.

I only saw him as a person that I could help out if there was any issues but right now he probably saw me as a traitor and no matter how much I will try to make him realize that because in my fault and I was only doing the best that I could come up with at the time it was going to be a waste of time so there was only for me to get on with it.

My eyes however landed on his and I started thinking of more excuses to give that was going to be worthy enough and at what point was I going to flip The script?

"You know I think that most people just will react to certain things and at some point we have to let other things come in because how long do we want to keep holding until graduates over things that could have been avoided in the first place?"

I wasn't making any sense even though I knew it. He was trying to make his feelings known to me and if I didn't want to accept it the best thing that I could have ever done was to push him away instead of trying to patronize because that was even more degrading than any other thing he could have ever passed through.

Lucius wasn't taking it in a good stride like I would have hoped he did.

Instead he was looking at me like the back person that he wanted two portrayals and I didn't flinch.

He had his reservations and I had in mind and nothing was going to change that. In fact it made it the more mirror for the both of us and I could see that there were boundaries that none of us were willing to cross the matter have pained we were

"Are you sure that you're ready to go against him because if you're not I don't think there's any reason for us to go there? I'm not going to waste my time and energy on the journey to get defeated." He announced.

Now he was putting the onus on me. I'm making it look like I was the one responsible for the victory or loss of the entire environment which was something that I would never understand.

It wasn't my fault that things were not going the way he wanted and he should find a way to accept it instead of trying to look for ways to apportion blame.

I grabbed his hands and decided to tell him the truth. "Most of these things are not decided. They are a consequence of the choices that we make. They are also consequences of things that we could have done better but we infused and at the point where things become worse. We begin to find reasons why we shouldn't be committed."

I was very mad at the situation and I was hoping that one point or the other you wouldn't have to start looking stuffing no even make any sense because then I would have to start all over again and that was not something that I was willing to take the risks for

It was as easy as anything else. All I needed to do was watch to sort it out before anybody could find out.

There was no need for me to panic or do anything of the such.

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