Nala. I took another swallow of ginger ale to prevent myself from gagging. I had been touched when i had realized that he had brought me the crackers and soda, but I was much less impressed now that i realized he was just using it as an opportunity to try to goad me into agreeing to marry him.“I don’t understand why you are the one pushing for marriage,” i said when I was certain i wasn’t going to be sick all over the floral duvet. “Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”A short, derisive laugh escaped his lips. “Perhaps traditionally, but then this is hardly a traditional situation. In this case, it's different.”“You may not want to be married to me, and frankly, I don’t want to be married at all,” he said. “But you can’t deny that it makes sense.”“I just don’t like the idea of it.”*******Jordan“Of marriage without love?” i knew that most women would reject the idea, at least outwardly, even if their motive for marriage was truly money or status and not finer feelings at all.
Jordan. A sense of triumph, along with a compressing sensation in my throat that felt suspiciously like the tightening of a noose, assaulted me . It was necessary; the only thing that could be done. The only way for me to truly claim this child, make him my heir. And the only way to claim Nala .A heavy pulse throbbed in my groin at the thought of claiming her in the most basic, elemental way. I wanted her with a kind of passionate ferocity that was foreign to me.I would have wanted her no matter what, would have desired her had i passed her when she was walking down the street. But the intense, bone deep need to take her, to enter her sweet body and join myself to her…that had to be connected to the pregnancy because it was outside anything in my experience. I had experienced lust the basest kind that had nothing to do with emotion and I had been in love. This didn’t resemble either experience.I could satisfy my lust for her without marriage, but marriage was necessary for me to h
Nala. I tried to clamp down the wild fluttering in my stomach. I knew Jordan wouldn’t be happy. Hadn’t he referenced our physical attraction as a reason for marriage? But this was what I needed in order to be able to accept his proposal, such as it was.His kiss had decimated my control, had made me forget who i was, who he was, where I was. Going to bed with him…What would that do to my closely guarded self control? The thought of surrendering myself like that, of stripping myself bare both physically and emotionally before another human being in that way, terrified me to my bones. Marriage i could deal with, but sexual intimacy was several steps beyond me. I was attracted to him, extremely attracted ; unreasonably so. And that only made me more determined to maintain a healthy distance between us. If i didn’t want him like this, if being near him didn’t make my limbs weak and my pulse pound in my chest, at the apex of my thighs, if I didn’t get embarrassingly wet with wanting jus
Jordan.I was surprised that Nala was denying us both what we so obviously wanted, but not even a sexless marriage was new to me. I had been there. I imagined it had been Selena’s way of punishing me for not giving her a baby, although the issue had been with her body and not mine. It hadn’t mattered to me. I had never once seen her as less of a woman. But she had been so frustrated with out timed lovemaking that never, ever produced the result she wanted, that she hadn’t even allowed me to touch her in the last six months of our marriage. The last six months of her life.I knew why Selena had denied me, and i wasn’t sure i hadn’t deserved it. But i didn’t know what Nala’s game was. Although I doubted that she would hold on to that stance. The attraction between us was far too strong for that. It was certainly beyond anything I had ever known in my experience.She licked her lips and my body ached with the need to taste her sweet mouth again, to move my tongue over hers. I was insta
Nala. I watched Jordan , my fiancé, turn and leave the room. A feeling of longing, so intense I felt it physically, filled me. Part of me wanted him, impossibly, irresponsibly, almost as much as the sensible part of me craved distance and protection from him. It was like a tug of war, each desire pulling at me from opposite sides. And the sensible part of me had to win.It had to.The dining room at the castillo was extremely formal. The high ceilings and ornately framed artwork gave the room a museumlike quality. The long banquet style table could easily have seated thirty or forty people, and added to the wholly impersonal feel of the room. It made stupid, emotional tears prick at my eyes.A child couldn’t sit and color at this table. They certainly couldn’t eat milk and cookies and peanut butter and jelly at this table. Finger painting was probably out, too, since it was likely a priceless antique.Of course, i knew there were other tables in a place this big.Jordan ’s quarters l
Nala. Jordan began to walk back toward his quarters, and i had to take short, quick steps to keep up with his long strides. “That is ridiculous. Not being able to have children doesn’t make you a failure.”“It felt that way to my wife.” He paused for a moment. “My mother introduced us. It was her opinion that Selena was perfect for me. Her family was wealthy and well. known, she was talented and cultured. In my mother’s estimation she would make a wonderful princess. A wonderful mother. When Selena could not fulfill that part of what she considered to be her requirements, she became very depressed.”“But that wasn’t the only thing you loved her for,” i said softly.Jordan turned to face me, his mouth pressed into a grim line. “No.”“I understand why you don’t want it to become public knowledge. I won’t tell anyone.” It might make things easier in a way, although inimagined his mother would dislike me regardless, but i just didn’t want to hurt Jordan by dredging up things from the pas
Nala. I shifted and winced as the boning in the corset top of my gown took another dig at my side. It was hot. Dear heaven was it hot! And humid. Stray wisps of my hair hung down out of my glamorous updo in lank strands. The air seemed thick, and breathing it in only seemed to increase the nausea that was my constant, reviled companion. The servant that had helped me get dressed had insisted that this was a formal announcement and would require formal dress. So here i was, made up, sucked in, pushed up and buffed to a highly glossed sheen, waiting behind a heavy red curtain for my time to step out onto the balcony with Jordan so we could make a horribly clichéd announcement to people. "The wedding is set and will take place in a few days." Jordan said leading me to the waiting limo. His sister followed us shortly, giddy like a small girl. "You look so good Nala." she said hugging me lightly. "Thank you, you do too." They proceeded to talk about the marriage a little bit, h
Nala. The limo pulled up to the curb of what looked like a very upscale row of boutiques. The driver opened the door and Isabella slid out. I followed. The ocean was only a hundred yards away from the shops, and the chilly salt air did wonders for the eternal churning in my stomach. The shops were all set into small, historic stone buildings, but just at the end of the row of boutiques there was a new, massive casino. It wasn’t all lit up like Vegas, rather it was more sedate, in keeping with the theme of the rest of the district. Jordan really was a genius. What he had done to revamp the economy of his country was brilliant. Women in expensive clothing milled around on the cobblestone walks sipping coffee that was as designer as their handbags. The men, i assumed, were in the casino. “ Isabella!” Both Isabella and i turned to the sound of a man shouting. A flash went off, followed by more flashes. My eyes widened. There was a pack of people, men and women, holding cameras, They