Chapter 19

Zac’s pov

The silence after she said it weighed heavier than the dead men lying in their blood around us. The fire crackled, completely out of sync with everything else. It was the only sound minus our breathing and Zara’s cry for help.

Why would she say what she said? I was already feeling bad. This was terrible.

"Running from me?" I asked finally, feeling how ridiculous the words were as they came out of my mouth. "Freya, what in the hell are you talking about? Running from me?"

She hugged herself tighter and didn’t look at me. “You have to promise first,” She said, her voice all shaky too. “Promise you won't... you won't hurt her. Zara. You have to say it.

I was confused one what she was talking about.

“Freya are you okay?” I asked as she has a wild look in her eyes. Almost like… like she didn’t trust me.

“Promise me.”

“I have to know if you are…” I said while hearing her as she took a step back and held out her hand to stop me where I was.

“Don’t come any closer.”

She was frantic. Her back had reached the tree and she held her hand out to stop me from coming close. Whatever she did must have warranted her running from the pack and putting her and her child in danger.

My feet rooted to the ground beneath me.

“Promise. Okay, okay, I promise,” I said softly, coming no closer. “I’m right here. I promise that I would never hurt Zara.”

She looked at me with teary eyes for a moment as she looked at me and then zara before she sighed and looked away.

“She… she was playing. In the house. With her doll. I don’t know how it happened,” she muttered and wiped her tears. “The next thing that happened was that the… it’s just shattered okay?”

I didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Freya,” i said sharply. “What did she do?”

“She broke it.” The words tumbled out of her in a rushing storm. “That big vase you have. The blue one by the fireplace. She pushed it off by mistake and it broke into a million pieces. She was so frightened. And I was frightened too. So I… I just picked her up and we went running. I thought if we got away before you returned, you wouldn’t… you wouldn’t…”

“What?” I interrupted, although I knew what she meant and my stomach turned.

Her eyes looked up to mine, full of tears. "That you wouldn't... hit her and hit me."

Something in my chest just... broke. Like a damn rope snapping. It wasn't anger. It was worse than that. It was this hollow, sick pain. This cold disappointment that she would see me as a monster who would beat children and mothers.

She really had thought that of me. After everything.

She looked at me and saw a monster who'd hit a five-year-old for breaking a stupid vase.

I had to turn my head from her. I looked at the fire, just breathed for a moment or three. Looked for the words. "You really think I would?" I asked quietly at last. "You think that of me?"

She didn't answer with her voice.

I sighed long and in a tired way, as though the breath were escaping from somewhere other than my mouth. It couldn’t be fixed here. Not now. Not in the cold of the night with Zara in pain.

“Fine,” I agreed. “Fine. I’m not going to hit anyone. But we can’t stay here.”

I walked over to Zara. She has her leg still broken as I lifted her up. She didn’t weigh anything at all.

From the corner of my eye I saw Freya go rigid, utterly and completely still as though she were ready for me to do something ghastly to Zara then and there. It hurt my throat, seeing how tense she was.

I stood, pulling Zara tight to my chest. She murmured something and her face nuzzled against my neck. She smelled of sweat, and fear, and she had that little-girl smell.

“Freya,” I told her, without looking at her. “You’ll have to follow me so we can go back to the pack. We really can’t stay here.”

“No!” She yelled. “You’ll hit us! You will!”

“Freya!” I growled. “Is your fear of me greater than your daughters life? For moons sake she needs medical assistance.”

That seemed to get her attention as she slowly nodded and packed up her things before following me out of the clearing.

We walked through the woods in silence as she didn’t say anything. I made sure that zara was comfortable in my grip and that I didn’t by any mistake drop her for any reason.

We finally reached the main path and headed for the pack that wasn’t so far. The lights from the houses felt like a slap after the darkness of the woods. Freya veered off toward the part of the building I had given to her but I didn't bother following.

She froze. “But… my room…”

“You’re not staying there tonight. Come with me.”

She didn’t argue. Just followed, her footsteps hesitant.

Slowly we walked into the main building as I led her up the stairs and with my leg kicked my door open as I entered.

I laid zara on the bed and covered her with a blanket to keep out the cold. When I turned I was shocked by what I saw.

Freya was standing just inside the doorway still, like she was afraid to step on the rug or something. She had her arms wrapped around herself and she looked small, lost in a sea of everything that was me.

“What… what are we doing here, Zac?” she asked, her voice barely even a whisper.

“Come in and close the door.”

She did but stayed at the door.

I turned to face her. Seeing her there in my door frame like a stranger; covered in dried blood and shivering uncontrollably, made that void deep inside of me ache all over again.