Chapter 1

By the time Daniel got to his street, the sky was turning that deep, quiet color between evening and night. It was the kind of hour when the city seemed to take a breath, when the noise died down just enough for people to go back to their own homes.

Home had always meant something free to him. He shifted the small paper bag in his hand as he walked, being careful not to squish the food inside. Its warmth seeped through the thin wrapping, and he found himself smiling, even though he’d had a long day. He’d stopped at a small takeout place on his way back – nothing special, just something his boyfriend really liked. It had become a nice habit over the years, these small gestures. Sometimes it was food, sometimes a drink, sometimes just being there quietly at the end of the day.

It wasn't really about the thing itself. It was about what it represented.

"I saw this and thought of you."

That was always enough.

Daniel adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder and climbed the familiar stairs to their apartment. His body felt a little tired from work, but it was a good kind of tired – the kind that came from knowing you had a safe place to go back to. He was already picturing how the night would go. They’d eat, maybe talk, maybe have a small, silly argument about nothing important, and then settle into that comfortable quiet they’d built over three years.

Three years.

The thought settled warmly in his chest as he reached their door.

He didn’t knock. He never had to.

But just as his hand reached for the doorknob, something caught his eye.

The door was open a little bit.

Daniel stopped.

It wasn’t totally strange. His boyfriend could be a bit forgetful, easily distracted, and always jumping from one thing to the next without finishing the last. Daniel had gotten used to tidying up after these little things without complaining. It was just part of loving someone, he figured.

Still, something about it felt… not quite right.

He pushed the door open slowly, the quiet creak sounding loud in the silent apartment. The lights were on, casting a soft glow across the living room. At first glance, everything looked normal. The couch was pushed slightly out of place, a jacket was tossed over one arm, and shoes were kicked off carelessly near the door.

“Hey,” Daniel called softly, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

No answer.

He frowned a little, setting the paper bag down on the small table by the entrance. “I got something for you,” he said, a bit louder this time, trying to sound cheerful.

Still nothing.

That’s when he heard it.

At first, it was so quiet he almost didn’t notice it. A soft sound, not constant though, it was happening in a way that didn’t quite make sense right away. It blended in too easily with the quiet of the apartment, slipping between the seconds, almost unnoticed.

Daniel froze.

His eyebrows came together as he listened more closely. The sound came again – clearer this time. A low breath. Then another. A rustle. Something brushing against something else.

His chest felt tight.

“No,” he whispered to himself, shaking his head a little, as if trying to push away the thought forming in his mind. “No, that’s not…”

He took a step forward.

Then another.

Each step felt heavier than the last, as if his body already knew what his mind didn't want to believe. The closer he got to the hallway, the clearer the sounds became. They weren’t vague or uncertain anymore.

They were impossible to mistake.

Breathing.

Voices.

Soft, broken sounds that didn’t belong to him.

Daniel’s heart started to beat fast, so loud he could hear it in his ears. His throat felt dry, his hands suddenly cold as he moved down the hallway. Every part of him was screaming at him to stop, to turn back, to leave before he saw something he could never forget.

But his feet kept going.

They carried him forward anyway.

The bedroom door was open just a crack, like the front door. A thin line of light spilled into the hallway, cutting across the floor in a way that felt almost like it was meant to draw his attention.

Daniel stopped right in front of it.

Everything inside him went completely still.

The sounds were clearer now. There was no more room for doubt, no space left to pretend it wasn’t happening. His breathing slowed, then hitched, then stopped completely as he stood there, staring at the narrow opening.

He really, really didn’t want to look.

God, he didn’t want to see.

But something deep inside him needed to know.

His hand lifted slowly, almost shaking as it reached for the door. For a moment, his fingers just hovered there, only inches away from the wood. Time seemed to stretch out painfully, each second lasting forever.

Then, before he could talk himself out of it, he pushed the door open.

His world broke into millions of pieces.

Inside the room, everything looked just as it always had – the bed, the sheets, the dim lamp casting a soft light across the space. It used to be familiar, intimate, and safe.

But not anymore.

For a moment, Daniel couldn’t move, breathe, or think. His mind refused to process what his eyes were seeing, as if rejecting it completely.

It looked so… normal to John.

That was the worst part.

There was no panic, no hurried attempt to hide, no sign of guilt strong enough to make up for what was happening. Like it wasn’t a mistake caught in a moment of regret.

This was something real. Something is happening right now.

The man Daniel loved looked up first.

Their eyes met.

And in that single moment, everything Daniel had believed in completely fell apart.

“Daniel—”

The name sounded wrong coming from John's lips.

Daniel’s throat felt painfully tight, and when he tried to speak, nothing came out at first. His lips moved, but the words wouldn’t form. It felt like his voice had been stolen, replaced by an empty silence that was louder than anything he could have shouted.

“I…” he started, but his voice broke halfway through, cracking under the weight of everything he was trying to keep inside.

The other man shifted, moving away slightly, but Daniel barely noticed him. His whole focus was on the one person who mattered.

"Daniel, wait, it's not..."

"John don't," Daniel said quickly, his voice sharper than he expected, but it shook a little. "Don't say that. Don't say it's not what it looks like."

Because it was what it looked like.

John sat up, running a hand through his hair, a frustrated look crossing his face that made a sharp pain stab inside Daniel.

"You weren't supposed to be home this early," John spat.

Those words hit Daniel harder than any confession could have.

Daniel blinked, staring at him as he’d just heard something in a language he didn’t know. "I... I live here," he said slowly, his voice quiet but tight. "Where else would I be?"

"That's not what I meant," John replied quickly, but the damage was already done.

Daniel let out a quiet, broken laugh that didn’t sound like him at all. "Then what did you mean?" he asked, though he wasn't sure he even wanted to know the answer anymore.

There were more words after that. Explanations. Excuses. Apologies that weren't quite finished and didn't really feel like they meant much. But Daniel stopped listening after a while. The sounds all ran together, losing their meaning as the realness of the situation sank in deeper.

It wasn't just the cheating.

It was how easy it had been.

How normal it seemed.

Like Daniel had never really been good enough.

"I can explain," John insisted, taking a step towards him.

Daniel took a step back immediately.

"I said don't," he said again, shaking his head. "Just... don't."

Because there was nothing left to explain.

Not anymore.

He turned away before he could completely break down, before the tears that were stinging his eyes could fall in front of someone who didn't deserve to see them anymore. His steps were shaky as he walked out of the room, then out of the apartment, leaving everything behind – including the small paper bag still sitting quietly on the table.

He didn't remember closing the door.

He didn't remember walking down the stairs.

All he knew was that he was outside, the night air hitting him hard as he stepped onto the street.

It felt colder than before.

Or maybe that was just him.

Daniel walked without a real direction, his steps uneven, and his thoughts all over the place. The city moved around him like it always did – cars driving by, people talking, life going on without stopping – but he felt completely separate from it all.

Like he wasn't a part of it anymore.

His chest hurt with a feeling too big to hold, something that pressed against his ribs and made it hard to breathe right. Every memory, every moment he’d shared with John, played in his mind again, twisting into something he didn't recognize.

Three years.

Gone in just one night.

He didn’t know how long he had walked before the streets started to change. The lights got dimmer, the people fewer, the feeling of the place quieter in a way that felt heavier. This part of Red City was different – less fancy, less worried about how things looked.

It was the kind of place people went when they didn’t want to be seen.

Or found.

Daniel barely noticed when he walked into the bar.

The door closed behind him with a soft thud, trapping him inside a space thick with smoke and quiet conversations. The lights were low, making long shadows stretch across the worn tables and tired faces. No one paid him much attention, and for once, he was glad for it.

He made his way to the counter and sat down, his movements slow, almost like a machine.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked, barely looking at him.

“Anything,” Daniel replied quietly.

The first drink burned.

The second one burned a little less.

By the third, he stopped feeling it.

Time slipped away as he drank, each glass softening the sharp edges of his thoughts just enough to make them easier to handle. His shoulders slumped, feeling heavy, his eyes unfocused as he stared at nothing in particular.

For the first time since leaving his apartment, he let himself feel everything fully.

The pain.

The anger.

The emptiness.

It all hit him at once, and he didn’t try to stop it.

A quiet tear rolled down his cheek, then another, then more. He weakly wiped at them, but they kept coming, silent and unstoppable.

He didn’t care anymore.

Let them see.

Let anyone see.

It didn’t matter.