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After Ten Lifetimes, I'm Done Struggling
After Ten Lifetimes, I'm Done Struggling
Author: Carbon Toast

Chapter 1

Author: Carbon Toast
I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the sensation of weightlessness, ready and waiting to die.

Instead, there was a loud thud.

As it turned out, Kevin Cortez had lunged in the wrong direction, lost his footing, and landed face-first, tumbling all the way down the stairs.

And just like that, I'd dodged the lethal shove intended for me by the "fake" young master of the Cortez household.

I opened my eyes, glanced at the empty space beside me, and shrugged. It was too bad that I didn't manage to die after all.

Kevin's heart-wrenching wails echoed up from below, but I just ignored him. I turned away to find a suitable spot to tuck myself in and wait, once more, for death.

After a quick search, I set my sights on a ventilation duct above the toilet. The cover wasn't shut tight, and it was dark, cramped, and encased in sheet metal.

A perfect morgue compartment.

I nimbly climbed inside, folded my hands across my stomach, and closed my eyes, feeling quite content with myself.

Downstairs, Kevin's sobbing had drawn the entire family over. He wailed and said, "Kenneth said there was no room for me in this house since he's back! He even pushed me down the stairs on purpose!"

Mom, Dad, and my eldest sister, Kathy Cortez, were furious. The whole family stormed up to the second floor, hell-bent on settling the score with me. They tore through every room until Kathy finally kicked open the toilet door.

A flashlight beam cut into the ventilation duct, shining onto me, lying there stiff as a corpse.

A deathly silence fell over the room.

Kevin's wailing cut off abruptly like a squeaky toy being squeezed shut.

Mom pointed up at me, her finger trembling as she asked Kevin, "Didn't you say he pushed you down the stairs?"

Kevin's face drained of color before turning red. He even forgot to keep crying.

But he was quick in his thinking. He immediately grabbed Mom's hand and began to wail even more pitifully.

"No wonder he avoided me when I tried to greet him! I wouldn't have fallen, but just as I stood up, I heard a noise from the ceiling and I thought it was a ghost!

"I got scared and my foot slipped, and I fell… That's why I thought that he was the one who pushed me."

He clung to Mom's clothes and asked pitifully, "Does he hate me that much? Was he purposely pretending to be a ghost just to scare me away?"

Kathy shot a vicious glare toward me inside the ventilation duct.

"Kenneth Cortez! You have a perfectly good room! Why on earth are you hiding in the air ducts like a rat? It's clear you were hiding there on purpose to terrify Kevin! You wanted him to fall to his death!"

I opened my eyes slightly and cast a hollow, indifferent glance at them.

"Oh, my apologies. I had no idea that simply lying here could frighten him. Should I crawl a bit deeper inside and stay completely silent? Would that be better?"

I shifted further back, my back striking the sheet metal with a dull thud. However, that sound sent Dad into a rage.

He grabbed a golf club from somewhere and struck the exterior of the duct with all his might.

"Kenneth Cortez! Nobody has ever dared to lay a single finger on Kevin ever since he began living here 17 years ago, but the moment you came back, you turned this entire house upside down!"

He continued to roar, his face twisted in disgust.

"Is the Cortez household so short on space that you can't find a bed for yourself? Get out here now!"

I didn't crawl out.

Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know which room to go to. They hadn't even bothered to prepare a room for me at all.

In the end, two bodyguards dragged me out of the duct by force. I was tossed onto the living room floor, completely covered in dust.

Mom looked down at me while gently patting the shaken Kevin in her arms. "Go get cleaned up. You can pick any room in the house you like. But you are absolutely forbidden from playing ghost to scare Kevin again."

They welded iron grilles over every single opening later on to keep me from crawling back into the ventilation ducts again.

I wandered around the second floor. There were plenty of rooms in the house—a music room, a study, an art studio, a walk-in closet, and so on—but all of them belonged to Kevin.

Even for the empty utility room, tucked away at the far end of the hallway, a servant rolled her eyes when I approached it. She told me, "That was just converted into a home gym for Kevin yesterday."

I nodded, signaling that I understood.

Since there wasn't a room in this house for the living, I would simply find a spot suitable for burying the dead.

In the end, I pushed open the door to the greenhouse in the backyard.

As it happened, there were several long, unused planter boxes in the corner. I chose the one with the softest soil and lay down inside.

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  • After Ten Lifetimes, I'm Done Struggling   Chapter 12

    That night, Mom, Dad, and Kathy fell into a deep sleep while keeping watch before my headstone. They had a dream, and in it, everything around them was a vast, blinding white.And then, they finally saw me.I was wearing a clean white shirt, my expression as lifeless and somber as ever."Kenneth!"The three of them lunged forward, falling to their knees before me. They rushed forward and dropped to their knees, weeping and begging for forgiveness."We were wrong, Kenneth. Kathy was wrong, too. Please, give us one more chance to make it up to you…"I watched them calmly without a flicker of emotion. "I never hated you, so what is there to forgive?"I continued to speak softly, my voice sounding ethereal and distant."Live your lives well. You managed just fine without me before, so you'll be able to go on just the same without me now."With that, I turned and walked toward the blinding white light."No! Kenneth!"The dream shattered amidst their desperate, anguished cries.A

  • After Ten Lifetimes, I'm Done Struggling   Chapter 11

    From that day on, Mom became dazed and detached from reality. She carried my urn everywhere, even holding it in her arms while she slept.At mealtimes, she would set a place for me across from her, complete with a serving plate and utensils on the dining table. Mom heaped a large scoop of creamy five-cheese bacon macaroni and placed it, with great care, onto the plate in front of the urn. "Here, Kenneth, I made this myself. Try some. Do you like it?"My soul hovered in mid-air as I looked at the plate of food, murmuring softly, "But I have a weak stomach. My stomach can't handle anything that greasy."As the words left my lips, Mom's body stiffened for a fleeting moment. It was as if she actually heard me, because she hurriedly replaced my serving plate with a clean one, tossing the other one straight into the trash.Then, with tears streaming down her face, she served me roasted vegetables and other side dishes that were less greasy, nudging them toward my ashes."Alright, al

  • After Ten Lifetimes, I'm Done Struggling   Chapter 10

    I suddenly realized I was beginning to admire Kevin a little. He was wicked, yet entirely clear-headed. He also understood me really well.My entire family was left speechless, completely stunned by his words.Mom crawled on her knees to the side of my gurney, her hands trembling as she brushed my hair aside. As she gazed at my face that was battered and disfigured beyond recognition, every trace of emotion drained from her expression."It's… It's all my fault."Dad slumped to the floor, burying his face in his hands and sobbing uncontrollably."Kenneth said something terrible would happen… I thought he was just joking… I never meant for him to die… How could it come to this?"The facade Kathy had clung to was torn away completely. Consumed by a mix of shame and rage, she lunged forward with a roar, knocking Kevin to the ground. She straddled him and rained down frantic blows across his face."It was you! You vicious, wretched, son of a bitch!"The two of them began to brawl ri

  • After Ten Lifetimes, I'm Done Struggling   Chapter 9

    Mom leaned against the wall, staring at the gurney carrying my body, tears streaming down her face.A home was supposed to be the safest, most secure sanctuary of all. They'd promised to protect me, whatever happened. But why did they find that I preferred to sleep in the ventilation ducts, in the greenhouse, or under the bed?"Everything Kenneth said… It was all true…"Mom turned to look at Kevin, biting her lip so hard it nearly bled. She wanted to lunge at him and tear him apart. But just as she was about to strike him, she swung her hand around and struck her own face instead.Dad also raised his hand and slapped Kevin across the face."Kevin Cortez! How could you be so vicious!" he roared. "He was your brother! Our own flesh and blood! And because of your lies, you got him killed!"Kathy released his throat, then seized him by the hair, her eyes wide with fury."Why? Haven't we been good enough to you? Why would you do this to him? How could you?"Kevin collapsed to the fl

  • After Ten Lifetimes, I'm Done Struggling   Chapter 8

    My soul drifted into the air, watching everything unfold in the hospital hallway, while my body was covered by a white sheet and wheeled toward the morgue.The doctor's words struck Mom's heart like a blade. She fainted. Dad caught her before she hit the floor, then sank onto the tiles with her in his arms.Staring at his own hands, he suddenly began to lash out, striking his own face repeatedly in a fit of madness."I should have knocked on that door! Why didn't I just knock on that door?"Kathy's legs gave way. She sank to her knees, her mind reeling."It can't be… How could he be dead?"She lunged toward the gurney and tore away the white sheet, revealing my face beneath it, completely drained of all color.She used to yell and scream at me, telling me I always wore a "dead expression" on my face. But now that she was actually seeing one, she trembled violently with terror."Dead? Is he really just… dead?"In the deathly silence, Kevin stepped forward, tears streaming down

  • After Ten Lifetimes, I'm Done Struggling   Chapter 7

    "The victim can still be saved!"The doctor's words acted like a shot of adrenaline, but for Mom, they caused her tightly coiled nerves to snap instantly.Letting out a long, shuddering breath, she collapsed beside the stretcher and wailed, "Save him… Save Kenneth… Please, I beg you, you have to save him!"I was swiftly loaded onto a helicopter and rushed to the city's central hospital.Outside the operating room, the air in the corridor felt suffocatingly heavy. The red light above the emergency surgery room glowed with a harsh, piercing intensity.Kathy stood to the side, her face dark and sullen. Mud and water still clung to her clothes. She said, "Mom, don't you think you're all being biased? Kevin has been through such a terrifying ordeal, and yet you haven't even asked about him! You're all just crowded around here."She cast a glance toward the operating room, her tone still laced with a stubborn, resentful defiance."I told you he wouldn't die, didn't I? He's clearly j

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