Chapter 1

He was thin and pale, his skin tinged yellow, as if a gust could blow him away. Cancer was slowly draining the life out of him.

He'd chosen euthanasia to avoid a painful death.

His phone chimed as he stepped outside. A text from Avery Carter.

[Brookfield High. Bring condoms.]

Ryan bought the condoms and headed to Brookfield High. A Rolls-Royce stood out by the school gates.

The car rocked. Faint moans and low grunts drifted out.

Each sound cut into him. His nails dug into his palms, but he felt nothing.

He crushed the box, then slowly smoothed it out and handed it to the slender hand reaching through the rear window.

As usual, he stayed, sliding into the front passenger seat.

The rearview mirror showed everything.

Avery's back was to him, her skirt hanging down as the man pinned her beneath him, thrusting wildly.

"Ah... Ms. Carter... you feel so good..."

Avery gave a cold, sultry laugh. "Less talking. Focus."

She moved harder.

The car rocked enough to shake Ryan in the front seat. He kept watching, as if trying to hurt himself.

At last, the man grunted. Avery pulled away, fixed her clothes, and sat back, lowering the window.

Cold air swept in, clearing the smell of sex.

She lit a slim cigarette, smoke blurring her face.

The man finally noticed Ryan.

"Whoa!" He pulled Avery close. "Ms. Carter, why's the help in here? Tell him to get out!"

Avery glanced at Ryan. "The help? He's my first love. The love of my life. The one who got away."

She raised her cigarette hand. "See this? I crashed my car because of him. Permanent damage. I'll never drive again."

She sounded like she was telling someone else's story. Ryan's chest tightened until he could barely breathe.

The man froze, then laughed. "You're kidding, right? If you love him so much, why make him watch us?

"Besides, you'd never wreck your hand over some guy. You couldn't love anyone that much."

Ryan looked at the bloody nail marks in his palms and gave a bitter smile.

'Yeah, who'd believe it? But it's true.'

Years ago, Avery Carter, a wealthy Crestview heiress, had fallen for a broke guy like him.

She'd given up her inheritance, moved into a tiny rental, and shared whatever cheap food they could afford.

She'd worked herself to the bone building a business for their future. Then came the crash.

Her father, Gerard Carter, had slapped Ryan, snapping him out of it.

"How much more will you put my daughter through? She's gifted. We gave her every advantage, spent a fortune preparing her to run the family business.

"For you, she swallowed her pride and begged for business. She drank at client dinners until her stomach bled just to pay for your engagement rings.

"Now she's crashed her car protecting you and nearly lost the use of her hand. I'm begging you. Let her go!"

That night, Ryan stood on the rooftop until dawn and decided to leave.

When Avery recovered and proposed, he threw the roses down and sneered.

"Get real, Avery. You gave up your inheritance. Your business failed. Your hand's ruined. You're useless. You have nothing. Why should I waste my best years on you?"

He walked away. Stunned, she begged him to stay, but he never looked back.

He vanished for five years. All Avery had left for him was hate.

They'd met again two years ago.

Avery was back on top as Carter Group's CEO. Ryan was a male escort at a bar, someone anyone could push around.

She'd forced him to stay by her side and watch her sleep with man after man.

This one was number one hundred.

In the back seat, Avery filled out a check with a string of zeros and tore it free.

"Take this to my assistant. I don't want to see you again."

He knew the deal. No matter how good-looking a guy was, she slept with him once, then dumped him. But she paid too well to let go. He hooked his finger around hers.

"Ms. Carter..." he murmured.

Her face hardened. "Take the money and get lost. Or stay and see what happens."

He went pale, yanked on his clothes, and scrambled out.

Avery got out and handed Ryan a tablet.

"Pick the next one."

She always made him choose. It hurt more that way.

His heart felt shredded, but he kept his voice steady. "Can I skip this one?"

He wanted to say, 'Please, can we stop? I have cancer. I'm dying. My death will give you all the revenge you want.'

She stared at him with a faint sneer. "Skip it? Did you give me a choice back then?"

Ryan opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

Avery hurled the tablet at him.

Her smile was cold. "So you can hurt too, Ryan? You're cruel. So am I. Let's make each other miserable forever and go to hell together."

The Rolls-Royce sped off. Ryan stood in the rain, tears streaming down his face.

He tipped his head back, letting the rain wash over him, and whispered, "No, Avery. You have to live a long, happy life. This time, I'll go to hell alone."