Chapter Four

"She looks very healthy Adam; hiccups are common in babies under one year old. You on the other hand are worrying me, have you been sleeping well?" The doctor asks Adam.

"Not much, doctor. She sleeps most of the day and very little at night."

"That's why when she sleeps you need to sleep too. Parenting is hard Adam; you need to manage this with Khalan. Where is he? He didn't show up to any appointments." Adam knows the doctor wasn't trying to be nosey; he was genuinely concerned about him, anyone that looked at Adam could see he has not slept well in weeks.

"He is in Atlanta, a big opportunity appeared to him, he's a rapper you know and he may have a chance with this record label." He said to the doctor.

"Oh. Good." Adam hated people's reaction when they asked about Khalan; they always had the same look of pity on their faces.

Adam returned home with his baby girl in his arms. Aaliyah was just eight months and Khalan did not know her yet, he wasn't even present on the day of birth. Adam's father doesn't say anything to him anymore; he doesn't want to see his son even sadder, so instead he took care of Adam and his granddaughter.

"How was the doctor's appointment?" James asks, picking his granddaughter from Adam's arms.

"Good she's healthy and growing. The hiccups are normal as you said."

"I raised you Adam. I know it has been a long time ago but I still know how to take care of babies."

"I know I'm sorry." Adam said, yawning.

"Go take a nap. I will watch her for a while."

"No dad, you don't have the obligation-"

"Is not an obligation Adam, is my granddaughter who I love. Go, you need to rest."

Adam goes to his bedroom but not until he tells his father, “Dad I'm truly sorry. I should have listened to you."

James didn't know if he was apologizing for not believing in him or something else. "Is okay honey, go get some rest."

---

Adam's phone buzzes on the desk. He just made Aaliyah sleep so he answered fast, not wanting to wake up his baby.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe I am in town." Adam almost dropped his phone after hearing Khalan's voice. He wanted to scream, he wanted to curse him but mostly he wanted to cry. How stupid he could be. "I want to see my daughter, can I show up tomorrow?"

Has been eight months since the last time he saw Khalan. He didn't show up at the baby's birth after he promised he would.

He tried to call but Adam didn't answer. His heart was broken; he thought at least for Aaliyah he would show up.

"You know where I live." Adam hung up. That was the only thing he managed to say before he burst into tears, that night he went to sleep crying wondering how someone you love so much could hurt you so much.

Khalan showed up the other day bringing flowers for Adam and many toys for Aaliyah, toys that she can't even play with.

He told Adam he was about to sign a contract that would make his career blow and when he settled down in his new apartment he would come back to pick them to live with him.

That day Adam saw some hope in the future; he thought that finally their lives together would start. Khalan asked for forgiveness for the months he missed and Aaliyah's birth, Adam was so happy that he forgave Khalan without a second thought.

That night after his visit he took Adam on a date, they ate; Khalan made more promises and gave Adam a white gold ring that he brought for him.

It was like back in high school again Adam was looking at the Khalan he fell in love with, the Khalan who owned his heart.

They spend the night together, Khalan whispering sweet things in Adam's ear promising to come back soon to pick them, telling Adam that he loved him and that they aren’t going to be separated again.

Adam's heart was jumping in his chest, all he ever wanted was Khalan, their family together and he finally is going to have this.

That night Khalan drove him back to his father's house at almost four in the morning. Adam tried to enter silently in the house but his father was waiting for him in the living room with Aaliyah sleeping in his arms.

"I was worried about you. Thought that you would abandon her too."

"Dad-"

"No Adam, you always become reckless when he's around. She was crying wanting you. You have a daughter, and can't be acting like a teenager anymore. What else did he promise you this time huh?" James asked, annoyed Aaliyah was crying for a couple hours until he was able to make her sleep.

Adam picked up Aaliyah from his father's arms "Stop interfering in my life dad. I don't know why you hate Khalan but he's my daughter's father. He's settling into an apartment in Atlanta and when he is ready, Aaliyah and I are going to live with him okay. So stop trying to get between us." Adam leaves for his bedroom carrying his daughter with him.

James had not anything more to say, his son would have to learn on his own.

---

Adam

"Good morning babe." Khalan said, kissing my neck.

Last night was a terrible mistake.

One minute we were fighting, and the next I was bent over the kitchen table.

I hate myself so much right now.

I took his hands off me and got up off the bed, walking to my closet. I get a new pair of clothes since the ones I was wearing were in the hall.

He lifted from the bed, rolled in my sheets "I have something for you." he said, passing by the door and going to the living room where his bags were and were going to be.

I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my morning routine. I was washing my face when he appeared behind me with a big smile on his face. "Here, this is for you." He says giving me a box and hugging me from behind.

As I opened the box I gasped, he was giving me a diamond necklace that must cost at least 30k. I think that sometimes he must think he can buy me with his gifts.

"Thanks but I don't want it." I say, giving him the box back.

"Why do you always have to be like this? I'm trying to do something nice for you. You never recognize the shit I do for you." That one hit a nerve, the audacity that he had to say that I don't recognize shit.

"You really want to have this fight now? Or can I feed my daughters first?"

"Our, our daughters Adam." I leave his presence before I say the shit I want to say.

Going to my daughters’ room, I saw Kayla already up but Aaliyah was still asleep.

I pick Kayla from her crib and put her down then I go to Aaliyah's bed and give a kiss on her forehead. "Wake up my little flower."

She starts to wake up and look at me "Where's daddy?" Aaliyah, being older, understands things a little more. She’s very attached to Khalan and every time he leaves, she gets very sad. One of the many reasons why I hate when he shows up.

"I'm here, my princess." He says appearing on the door. She leaves the bed and runs to him.

I pick Kayla and go to the kitchen to start to make breakfast; I put her on her high chair and start to make some pancakes.

Soon both of them are in the kitchen.

"We should go to the beach today. Has been a while since I was there." Khalan says excited and Aaliyah instantly agrees.

Aaliyah was sitting in his lap on the kitchen table. Since his arrival, she has been glued to him. I make a face for him because he always do shit like this. He knows Aaliyah will be excited so I'll not be able to say no.

"Can we go, papa please?" As she pleads, Kayla starts to say beach on her chair clapping her tiny hands.

"Fine, eat your breakfast then go get ready. But only if you eat all your breakfast."

"Yay." She says and I can't help but smile.

Later I was putting on some shorts for the beach, Khalan entered my room without knocking on the door and I need to remember to lock it for the time he's going to stay here.

"What?" I said, turning around to look at him.

"We are waiting for you."

"I'm going; I just need to grab the sunblock." I said. Entering my bathroom, I see the jewelry box again laying on my sink "I told you I don't want this. What are you still doing in my bathroom?"

"I bought for you babe please take it."

"I don't even have where to wear this Khalan."

"We are going to the beach now you can put this on just like I am doing with mine." He said, showing me that he has five chains around his neck, is a thing around rappers he said.

"No thank you. You look ridiculous by the way." As I try to leave the bedroom, he grabs my arm and yanks me to him until we are face to face.

"Yeah? But was my ridiculous dick you were sucking last night." He tries to kiss me but I push him leaving his presence.

Today is going to be a long day.

---

"Daddy look, I made a castle." Aaliyah says excitedly. When Khalan is around, she totally forgets I exist.

"I saw it, princess. So beautiful."

The girls were playing in the sand. I was sitting under the sunshade watching them, Khalan was sitting beside me but I wasn't paying him any mind.

"Y'all should move to Atlanta with me." Khalan says, looking at me.

I shiver thinking about the last time I was in Atlanta.

Khalan was negotiating with a record label to sign a contract, at the time I had only Aaliyah, Kayla was in my womb but I didn't know back then.

Yeah my stupid ass got pregnant by him again when he showed up to meet Aaliyah.

My father of course was furious, we fought a lot at that time but he never abandoned me. I started to work to pay for the two daughters I would have, I didn't have the opportunity to go to college, as I was seventeen when I got pregnant with Aaliyah so I didn't have many job offers, but I kept going. When I texted Khalan telling him that I was pregnant again he had the audacity to ask if he was the father. He was the only man I ever was with and that accusation hurtled me a lot.

In the last years of our life together, he only managed to hurt and humiliate me. He always acted, as none he did was wrong. After Kayla was born, the birth he also missed, I moved with him to Atlanta.

I know. I'm so stupid.

Everything was perfect at the beginning until I met his manager Mike.

Because of Khalan's rapper reputation, Mike convinced him not to reveal that he had a family, as I was a male and rappers are supposed to be straight, Khalan agreed and begged me to accept and promised me nothing would change. One week after signing the agreement Mike thought that it was better if I lived in another house, then that it was better if I lived in another city, then that it was better if Khalan didn't visit me.

I barely saw him anymore. I live now in a house in the suburbs. Khalan only appears at night and very rarely, when the neighbors are already sleeping. After a year of receiving crumbs of his attention, I decided to move back to the city where my father lived and never came back.

He comes to visit the girls in two, three, sometimes four months apart.

Aaliyah is the one that suffer the most, she loves him so much and Khalan do not realize the bad that he does to her but I made I promise with myself that he can hurt me a thousand times and truly I don't care anymore but I would never let him do the same with my daughters.

Never.

"Oh so are you ready to tell the world you have a family?"

"Why can't we enjoy the time we have together without you always trying to fight with me?" He says, looking at me. I used to have chills whatever he looked at me but nowadays it is like looking at a stranger.

"You know what? You are right. Girls, let's go home." I call the girls getting up off the sand and grabbing our things.

"Come on Adam-"

"No, we came here as you wanted. Now we are going back home, at least me and the girls are. You can stay if you want. Is almost lunchtime and they must be hungry." Luckily, I have two beautiful daughters who obey me. Aaliyah took Kayla's hand coming at me as soon as I called them.

Back at home we were about to enter the house when I saw my neighbor Andre. Know that I'm not blind Andre is fine, tall, muscular and is a lovely person. For the little we talked about he had a pretty rough past year with his wife's death and having to take care of his daughter on his own. His daughter is a cutie. Sometimes she comes to play with the girls.

"Good morning Adam." He waves at me over the fence.

"Hey Andre good morning how's things going?"

"Everything's good." He answered shortly which is uncommon to him because he loves to talk. Then I turn around to see Khalan behind me with an annoyed look on his face.

"Papa, can I play with Brenda?"

"You're going to have lunch now Aaliyah maybe later and if Mr. Brown agrees."

She turned to him "Can I play with Brenda later?"

"Yes sweetie Brenda will lunch too and you can come over after."

"Thank you Mr. Brown." Khalan appears in front of the fence and picks Aaliyah up, going inside carrying her. I just nod at Andre entering the house right after.

Later at night we were watching a movie the girls love The Lion King. Kayla was already knocked out on Khalan's arms and Aaliyah was almost asleep laying on my shoulder. Khalan got up to put Kayla in her crib then picked up Aaliyah to put her in her bed also.

I knew we were going to fight because since my interaction with Andre he spent the rest of the day without talking to me.

I was glad to be honest; his voice sometimes is too much.

"Now that is only the two of us here, are you sleeping with that bitch?" He asked me standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What are yo-"

"Yes or no Adam are you fucking him?"

"No, he's just my neighbor. Also he's straight and has a wife."

"How do you know all that shit?"

"Because we talk like civilized people?" I'm so fuck mad right now.

"Nah he's trying to fuck you. I don't want my daughters around that man, did you hear me?"

"Please who do you think you are to demand anything from me regarding my daughters?" I say standing up.

"I am their father in case you forgot, too busy being a whore." He yells.

I don't know why I keep doing this. I don't think that ever is going to be better than this, why I'm content with so little.

I deserve better. I know I deserve much better. I don’t deserve to be called a whore by the father of my daughters, the man that swore to love me.

What the hell is my problem?

That person, whatever the fuck he is, is not my Khalan.

That Khalan is dead.

Wake the fuck up Adam.

"Father? You don't even know what the fuck this means. I'm their father; you're just a random dude who show up one time at three months bringing toys and diamond necklaces thinking that this will heal the fucking five years of pain you made me go through." At this point, my face was wet with tears. "No Khalan, not anymore."

"We are over."