Aysel: The One That Got Away

This day should have been the best day of my life. I am finally declared as the doctor worthy of serving the Royal family. I will finally be able to begin living with my brother, Kaizen, the royal beta. After seven years of toiling and enduring insults and working overtime, I am finally leaving this hellish place where werewolves are trained to become Pack doctors and the best ones get picked up to be working under the Royal doctors before becoming one. 

Without a proper family background or rather with a tainted family background it was hard for Kaizen and me to fend for ourselves. Our father had betrayed our pack by stealing money. He was the treasurer of our old Pack. As per the rules of our pack, he was tried and found guilty after which he was taken to the dungeon. I don’t know what has become of him because a mere day later, mother, Kaizen, and I were driven out of the Pack and labeled as traitors as well. 

The stigma of being called thieves, and our mother’s deteriorating health turned Kaizen from a bitter teenager to a hardworking person. 

“Miss, are you listening?” My train of thought is put to a screeching halt by the gruff voice of the royal inspector, a delta who appears to be getting equally annoyed and frustrated. 

“Yes, I am,” I murmur, but my words sound garbled to my ears as if I am speaking from somewhere far away. 

Am I numb? Maybe. I stare at my hands. They are white, too pale, or ‘ a witch’s hands’ as Kai would say. There’s no trembling. But my vision goes hazy for a moment. 

“I understand…” the delta begins. What’s his name again? Who gives a damn, really.

“No, you don’t,” I say before I can stop myself. The delta is shocked by this answer, albeit not used to this attitude from an ordinary werewolf. 

“I am… sorry. I am not in the right mind,” I add with a shaky chuckle. A damage control of sorts. I fidget with my fingers, picking on the cuticle of my right thumb. 

“I… understand,” the delta repeats lamely. 

No, he doesn’t. 

“Have you ever lost anyone? Truly lost anyone the way I have?” I suddenly ask, unable to keep the words in check because my mind is playing a thousand memories, and my heart is bubbling with infinite emotions. I cannot keep myself in check. 

The delta swipes his bald head with his bony fingers before shaking his head. His eyes are downcast. 

I remain silent because his answer is enough for him to not repeat those stupid words. 

The news had arrived in the morning, in the mouth of burly delta, a royal delta. It had arrived while I was enjoying the morning coffee and frowning at the message which Kai had left unread even though I had sent it to him three days ago. That should have told me that something was wrong. But his work schedule never really aligned with mine and therefore I didn’t suspect anything and went back to the reading app where the latest novel I was reading was 67% completed. 

“Royal beta, Kaizen Knight, has been declared deceased yesterday after we found his remains in the middle of the forest. We are still investigating why he would go there. His body was not found, but his jacket and wallet were discovered.” 

While the delta had clinically read these words aloud from a piece of paper, I had hardly registered them. This couldn’t be, could it? Kaizen, the sturdy beta, the stubborn guy who didn’t care for a family background, or the idea of being insulted before applying for the position of the royal beta is dead? Not just dead but missing as well. They claim that his body wasn’t found in the entirety but there were remains that clued them in on the fact that he was dead. 

My throat closes up at the thought. The truth hasn't settled completely or I would have been inconsolable. 

“What remains did you find?” I manage to ask finally. I had no desire to know before this, but I felt curious as the delta stilted and stuttered through the conversation.

The words immediately make me feel nauseous. But I swallow nausea and try to remain calm. My wolf has been mourning, her quietness should also have given me a clue but between studying, working, and dreaming of escaping this place, I hardly noticed that. 

“Only his… right thumb,” the delta says, after a pause, sounding slightly uncomfortable. Had I been a normal werewolf, I would have retched out my breakfast, but being a doctor helped me to throw up on the delta’s expensive suit. 

“Only his thumb?” I reiterate dumbly. He nods. I blink and lean back into the couch. 

When silence stretches on for too long, the delta says, “Well, there’s a request that beta Kaizen had made.” He pauses, expecting me to ask something, but I am not. I just want my brother back. 

“And?” I ask, feeling like every bit of enthusiasm and curiosity has been drained from me. 

“And he had submitted this request,” he replies promptly before fishing out a brown envelope from his pocket. He places it on the coffee table and goes back to sitting ramrod straight. My hands tremble as I pick it up as questions gnaw in my mind. 

I flip it to see my name neatly written on the back. My breath hitches and a sob escapes my lips. I can recognize his handwriting anywhere. I sniffle as I turn the envelope back and tear it open, not wasting my time breaking the seal. 

I find a paper neatly folded inside. I take it out and unfold it. However, when my eyes fall on the eager look of the delta I stand. 

“I would like to read it alone.” The delta opens his mouth but then nods and I leave the living room to go inside the kitchen. I let the tears fall freely unable to stop myself anymore as I clutch the letter to my chest. 

With blurry vision, I begin to read the letter. 

[Dear Aysel,

I hope you will never have to receive this letter. But if you do then either I am unable to reach you or I am gone. If either of these happens, I want you to join the Royal pack as the beta. The authorities won’t refuse as they are bound to keep the last request of a dying wolf. I know this is probably a selfish request, but… this way I can keep you safe even after I am gone. I serve Prince Azriel, the next-in-line monarch. Being in his circle will keep you from falling prey to countless things. I hope you will consider this. 

Remember I will always love you and always be with you.

Love,

Kaizen]