Inner Musings

Alpha Kade’s POV

“Emilia,” Jackson barks, “show our guests to the rooms you had made up for them.” I am disgusted as I glance at the girl and see the fear in her eyes. One of the girls next to her inconspicuously taps her on her lower back, almost like she is trying to reassure her that everything is done. Emilia turns her head slightly and the girl gives her a small, barely noticeable nod. 

My guess? She didn’t know she was responsible for preparing our rooms.

“Follow me,” she murmurs softly, motioning for us to follow behind her. I turn to look at the warriors and my ranked members. Two of my warriors’ step-in front of me, following directly behind the girl.

I swear my men sometimes take their tasks too serious sometimes. I highly doubt this measly Omega could harm any of us, even if she wanted to. She looks severely malnourished and underweight. It doesn’t look like she has even an ounce of muscle on her.

Whenever I leave the pack, I always bring four warriors with me as added protection because you never know what the hell you are going to be walking into, especially going to another pack. At least if I am walking into an ambush, I have some form of back-up with me. Sometimes, they just take it too far.

‘What are your thoughts on Alpha Jackson?’ Marcus, my Beta, asks me through the mind-link.

‘He seems like a self-entitled prick,’ I tell him with a metaphorical shrug of my shoulders.

‘And the girl? What’s the deal with her? You seem adamant she attends the ball tomorrow. She’s just an Omega, Alpha.’

I glance at him, making sure I keep my face blank as I respond. I don’t want him to know I am just as confused by my actions. ‘I don’t know, Marc, no clue at all. There is just something about her—something I just can’t put my finger on. I have no doubt she will be at the ball tomorrow. Jackson is going to want to do everything in his power not to piss me off, especially if he wants this treaty with our pack.’

We abruptly come to a stop as Emilia stops outside of a few of the rooms. “These are the rooms the head Omega, Candy, had prepared for you. Alpha Jackson didn’t tell her how many to expect, so she only prepared ten rooms…some of you are going to have to share…I’m sorry.” She mumbles the apology weakly, her eyes never leaving the ground.

Marcus glances at me and I can see it in his eyes he feels sympathy for the girl. He wants to help her, at least make her feel comfortable, but that isn’t what we are here for.

I swear this man is one of the toughest in my pack but put him next to any woman or child who looks like they need some type of ‘saving’ and he is all over that shit.

He wears his heart on his sleeve.

Not always a bad thing, but it can get you killed.

Love is a weakness; a weakness I will never force myself to have to endure again. It’s better this way, for anyone that might be involved.

The only reason I came here is for the goddamn treaty. If it gets signed and I agree to it, then I have to be here for it. And my men…they have all been itching to find their mates, but many of them don’t leave the pack unless I have somewhere I have to go. Even then, not very many come with me. And I usually don’t go to place surrounded by women.

I think women are a distraction, but I know my men feel differently. I would never take away their chance to get their own versions of their happily ever after.

“No need to apologize,” Marcus assures her. “The warriors are perfectly fine sharing a room, and I don’t mind bunking with the Alpha. He only snores sometimes.”

I just roll my eyes and shoulder pass him, heading straight for the room in front of the girl. I don’t say anything, just waiting for her to move out of the way. Her eyes dart to me and I see the fear clouding her eyes as she takes in my form before she quickly looks away, moving out of the way of the room I am claiming as my own.

Within minutes of me entering the room, Marcus follows behind me. “You are a douche bag, you know that, right?” he asks, chastising me for my rude behavior in the hallway. “That poor Omega is utterly terrified of us and you just had to go and make a big scene of scaring the bejeezus out of her.”

“Always the perfect gentleman, you are,” I respond. “She is the one who showed us to our room. She was at the dinner when I said we were tired and would be retiring.” I shrug my shoulders, not care about what my Beta thinks of my actions. “Common sense would have told me to not be blocking the damn door. Not my fault Jackson’s Omegas aren’t the brightest cookies in the cookie jar.”

“Gosh, ever since Leila—”

“Don’t you fucking finish that sentence!” I growl, cutting him off. My aura slips from me, and he flinches back. “I am who I am because I have to be. I am the deadliest Alpha in this century, and I don’t plan to change that for some fucking Omega who isn’t part of our pack.”

Marcus holds up his hands in apology. “Sorry, man. I forgot she is a sore topic for a moment.” He pauses for a second before adding. “Don’t forget she was still my sister, man. You can’t expect everyone to avoid talking about her forever.”

I ignore his words and pull out a pair of shorts out of my bag. I move to the bathroom and slam the door shut behind me.

He’s right about her. I can’t expect everyone to avoid talking about her, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less every time she’s mentioned.

I killed the part of myself that feels anything about her; the part of myself that felt any type of grief.

‘Keep telling yourself that,’ Ghost, my wolf, says gruffly.

Instead of gracing his comment with a response, I ignore him, choosing to continue with my shower in peace. I push Ghost to the back of my mind, focusing on why that girl bothers me so much.

There is something about her that feels like it should be familiar to me; yet she isn’t familiar. I have never been to Alpha Jackson’s pack—at least not since I was like five and even then, I don’t remember her. I would remember her—at least I think I would.

I shake the thoughts about her away as I shut off the water. It doesn’t matter anyway. She isn’t my responsibility. She belongs to Alpha Jackson’s pack. She will attend the ball tomorrow, most likely as a server. My warriors will attend the ball and ceremony in hopes of finding their mate, then we will leave the day after tomorrow and the Black Claw pack will just be a distant memory.

I am not sold on this treaty yet. I don’t see anything about this treaty that might even be remotely beneficial to me, which means Jackson is the only one getting something out of this.

To me, it doesn’t seem worth it.

Marcus encouraged me to come to this fucking meeting just to hear them out, but I think he secretly wanted me to come because he knew they were hosting the ball this year.

I am really only here for my pack. IF any of my men find their mates here, I think it will be worth it.

I glance at the time on the bedside table and sigh. I push all the thoughts away. I can deal with everything else in the morning. I need to get some sleep before I have to deal with all the hustle and bustle of that damn ball. I already know I won’t be able to excuse myself early tomorrow.

Maybe I will be able to find someone to keep my bed warm tomorrow night. I think that will make this trip worthwhile.

No strings attached—my favorite type of relationships.

*****************************

Emilia’s POV

My alarms goes off; the annoying blaring doing nothing but piss me off. I blink slowly, my eyes feeling like sandpaper. I barely got any sleep last night. My dreams repeatedly reminding me of what happened to my parents. I close my eyes for a brief second, fighting the tears as her screams rings in my head again.

I quickly shake my head, fighting the memories away. I don’t have the fucking time for this. I have to make sure this ball is ready for this evening. And then I have to return here so I can look somewhat decent for this ball since I am now the fucking head server.

Thanks, Alpha Kade.

Not.

He literally ruined everything I had planned. Jackson made sure I knew he is going to have someone monitoring me all god damn day, making it extremely difficult to slip away.

I hurry and rush to get ready as the fifth alarm starts going off. Before leaving my room, I take a quick look at my attire and let out a soft sigh. I close my eyes, a single tear trailing down my face.

“Happy 18^th birthday, Emilia,” I whisper to myself. “I am going to end all our pain and suffering soon…I hope. We just have to be strong a little bit longer.”

Now, I just got to believe the words I am speaking. In reality, I tell myself it to try and remain strong, but I don’t believe the words leaving my mouth.

I rush down the stairs, narrowly managing to avoid the Beta’s son. He growls at me, but doesn’t say anything, just continues what he’s doing.

Six hours later and I am staring around at the work I have done. I thought putting up a lot of the decorations was going to help make it easier for me today, but boy was I fucking wrong. I still had so much fucking work to do.

I slowly leave the ballroom, cracking my cramping knuckles. As I turn to leave the ballroom, someone grabs me by the back of my shirt, pulling me backwards. A gasp escapes me as I am slammed against the wall.

“What the fuck?” I yell at my attacker. I gulp as I meet the eyes of the boy that has me pinned against the wall.

The Beta’s son. Kendrick.

Fuck. I knew it was weird it didn’t overreact when I nearly ran into him this morning. He acted too calmly.

Kendrick raises his fist and slams it into the side of my face. My feet automatically kick out, intending to fight back, not caring about the trouble I am going to be in for fighting back.

“Remember watch the face and visible body parts.” A soft voice interrupts Kendrick before his fist can make contact with me again. “Dad doesn’t like it when she gets bruises when we have guests here. And you heard that Alpha. He wants her at the ball tonight. The Goddess only knows why he requested this scrawny thing.”

I glance at the opposite wall and see Ozara leaning against it.

Kendrick nods in response, but it doesn’t stop him from hitting me. He raises his knee and hits in me in the stomach. A small, pained cry escapes me.

“Next time watch where you are fucking going, fucking waste of space,” he growls. He leans forward, his breath tickling my cheek as he whispers in my ear. “Just because Ozara is here to make sure I don’t hurt you too much, doesn’t mean he will always—”

“What the fuck is going on?” A voice growls at the opposite end of the hallway. Kendrick and Ozara freeze, both of their eyes zeroing in on the newest arrival to their little meet up with me.