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The Space Between Us

Author: Big Queen
last update publish date: 2026-04-04 03:38:20

The morning air was sharp, cool against Carolina’s skin as she stood at the edge of the training field. The scent of earth, sweat, and pine filled her lungs—stronger now, clearer. Everything felt louder since the shift.

Too loud.

Too real.

Too much.

Across the clearing, wolves sparred in controlled bursts of power—snarls, snapping jaws, shifting forms. It should have fascinated her.

Instead, she couldn’t focus on anything except the steady, pulsing awareness at the back of her mind.

Him.

It hadn’t stopped since the night before.

Not for a second.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to ground the feeling, to push it down. It didn’t work.

It never worked.

The bond wasn’t something she could ignore—it was something she felt.

Constantly.

Like a second heartbeat that didn’t belong to her.

“Running away again?”

His voice came from behind her.

Low.

Too close.

Carolina closed her eyes briefly, steadying herself before turning.

Xander stood only a few feet away, hands relaxed at his sides—but there was nothing relaxed about him. Not really.

There was tension in his shoulders.

Focus in his eyes.

And something else.

Something that tightened the air between them.

“I’m not running,” she said.

He raised a brow slightly. “You left before anyone could talk to you.”

“I wasn’t in the mood for questions.”

“You’re still not,” he said, stepping closer.

Her pulse spiked.

“Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Getting so close like it doesn’t affect anything.”

He stilled at that.

Really stilled.

“Does it affect you?” he asked quietly.

Carolina hesitated.

That was the problem.

She didn’t want it to.

But it did.

“Yes,” she admitted.

The word hung between them.

Heavy.

Honest.

Xander exhaled slowly, like he’d been waiting for that.

“Good,” he said.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Good?”

He stepped closer again—but slower this time. Measured.

Like he was giving her time to react.

Time to stop him.

She didn’t.

“Because it affects me too,” he said.

That did something to her chest.

Something dangerous.

Carolina swallowed, forcing her voice steady. “That doesn’t mean we just… go along with it.”

Xander tilted his head slightly. “You think I’m just going along with it?”

She didn’t answer.

Because she didn’t know.

“I’ve spent my entire life being in control,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “Of my training. My power. My future.”

Another step closer.

“Then you show up—and suddenly I can’t go five minutes without knowing exactly where you are.”

Her breath caught.

“That’s not normal,” she said.

“No,” he agreed. “It’s not.”

Silence stretched between them again.

But this time, it wasn’t distant.

It was charged.

Carolina became acutely aware of everything—the space between them, the warmth of his body, the way his gaze didn’t waver from hers.

“You could fight it,” she said.

His jaw tightened slightly.

“I could.”

“But you’re not.”

A pause.

Then—

“Are you?”

That hit harder than she expected.

Carolina looked away first, breaking the connection.

“I don’t know how,” she admitted.

Xander moved again—close enough now that she could feel him without touching him.

Like heat just beneath her skin.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to,” he said.

Her heart pounded.

Too fast.

Too loud.

“That’s not fair,” she whispered.

His gaze softened—but only slightly.

“Neither is this.”

The bond pulsed again.

Stronger.

Like it was reacting to every word, every step, every second they stood like this.

Carolina forced herself to look back at him.

“You don’t even know me,” she said.

“I know enough.”

“That’s not how this works.”

A flicker of something crossed his face—frustration, maybe.

Or something deeper.

“Then tell me how it works,” he said.

She opened her mouth—

Then stopped.

Because she didn’t have an answer.

“I’m not… what you need,” she said instead.

That shifted something in him.

Subtle.

But unmistakable.

“And what do I need?” he asked.

Carolina hesitated.

Then—

“Someone strong. Someone who can stand beside you. Lead with you.”

His expression darkened slightly.

“And you think you can’t?”

“I know I can’t,” she said.

The words came out sharper than she intended.

But she didn’t take them back.

Xander took another step closer.

Too close now.

Close enough that she had to tilt her head to keep looking at him.

“You faced my father this morning,” he said quietly. “You stood your ground when most wolves wouldn’t even speak.”

“That wasn’t strength,” she said. “That was panic.”

“No,” he said, his voice firm. “That was you not backing down.”

Her breath hitched.

“You don’t get to decide what I am,” she said.

“Then show me.”

The challenge in his voice sent a sharp spark through her.

Carolina’s eyes flashed. “Maybe I will.”

Something almost like a smile touched his lips.

Gone just as quickly as it appeared.

“I’m counting on it,” he said.

The space between them shrank again.

Not intentionally.

Not consciously.

Just… pulled.

Carolina’s breath grew uneven as his gaze dropped—just for a second—to her lips.

Then back up.

Slow.

Deliberate.

The bond surged.

Hotter this time.

More demanding.

“Xander…” his name came out softer than she meant it to.

His hand lifted slightly—hesitating for just a fraction of a second before brushing lightly against her arm.

Barely there.

But enough.

A sharp jolt shot through her.

Neither of them moved.

“Tell me to stop,” he said quietly.

Carolina’s fingers curled at her sides.

She should.

She knew she should.

But she didn’t.

The silence stretched.

Heavy.

Waiting.

And then—

“Xander.”

The voice cut through everything.

Cold.

Commanding.

They both stepped back instantly.

Too fast.

Too obvious.

Alpha Marcus stood at the edge of the field, his gaze sharp and unreadable.

Watching.

Calculating.

Carolina felt the shift in the air immediately.

The warmth from seconds ago disappeared—replaced by something tense and dangerous.

“Inside,” Marcus said.

Xander didn’t argue.

But as he turned, his hand brushed against Carolina’s—

just for a second.

The bond flared.

Strong.

Unmistakable.

Marcus saw it.

Carolina’s stomach dropped.

Because something told her—

That moment?

That one second?

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  • Alpha’s Forbidden Mate   Ch 23

    The return to the house was a wet blur. They let the darkness muffle their footfalls and pretended not to notice the twin beams of porchlights tracking them over the marshy lawn. Xander’s shoulders dripped, a fresh stripe of mud painting his cheek. Carolina caught the turn of his jaw, the way he kept glancing at her as if to confirm she was real, still tethered to his side. It made her feel less like a person and more like a crisis he’d learned to nurse. The foyer was empty, except for a pair of discarded boots and the echo of a door closing somewhere above. They shed their coats in a heap, careful not to touch, but then Xander’s hand found her wrist and, as if remembering itself, held there. It was nothing like the first time. That had been reckless, gritted-teeth and bruised lips, an animal need that didn’t apologize or linger. But now there was a hush to the world, a deliberate pause, like the space between lightning and thunder. Xander’s

  • Alpha’s Forbidden Mate   Ch. 22

    A week of sullen rain soaked the world to sponginess. By the time the next evening with even a hint of clear sky arrived, the whole crew was ready to throttle one another purely from boredom. But Carolina had a plan and, improbably, so did Xander. They met in the blue hour outside the derelict greenhouse, where steam from the boilers curled around shattered windowpanes like something alive. He brought her a thermos, black coffee diluted with something caramel-sweet, and she clinked her mug against his, because if you didn’t toast to survival, what was the point. After dinner, instead of the usual shuffle back to bunks, Carolina led Xander up the trails, through the slick branches and deadfall, up a slope that overlooked the valley. “Date night,” she said, voice bright and hard, like she’d rehearsed this. A picnic, but without the kitsch—just a battered blanket and two packs of peanut butter crackers. She’d pilfered a bar of chocolate from the dry goods, too, which mad

  • Alpha’s Forbidden Mate   Ch. 21

    The first day after was always the worst. The way every look sideways had a question folded into it—How long have you been hiding this? What will you do now? She let each stare slide off her as she crossed the muddy lot, Xander at her side, the two of them a gravity well for gossip. She was not unused to attention; she just hated the kind that involved her feelings.The training field was a wet sprawl of grass, cordoned off by battered fencing and the odd, half-collapsed barricade. Most of the others were already assembled, their breath rising in steamy clouds, half-listening to Hayden’s attempt at a pep talk while they passed a dented thermos around. Carolina caught the drift of cinnamon and remembered, faintly, the last time she’d let herself want something as basic as comfort.Hayden’s voice broke over the field: “—and that’s why if you aren’t at least pretending to care today, someone’s going to get their ass handed to them.” She glanced up, spotted Carolina and Xander, and someho

  • Alpha’s Forbidden Mate   Ch. 20

    The morning pressed its way in through the window—a clear, pale slab of light slicing the room in half and falling directly across Carolina’s face. It was the shift in temperature, more than the brightness, that woke her: the air had that cool, dusty feeling that made her want to burrow in. Instead, she blinked against the glow, feeling the weight of the blankets, the heat of the body curled against her spine.Xander had not, apparently, moved at all since last night. He was still bracing her in place, chin tucked between her shoulder and neck, arm a heavy bar around her middle. Sometime in the night, she’d shifted that arm higher, so her hand rested atop his. She let herself hold still, breathing in the scent of him—a little woodsmoke, a little sweat, all wolf and summer.If she stayed like this, she could almost forget why sleep had been so necessary. That the world outside was already spinning up, waiting for her to step back into it. That the shrapnel of what had happened yesterda

  • Alpha’s Forbidden Mate   Ch. 19

    “—insane,” she finished, blinking at him. “That was—” Xander braced a hand near her head, looking at once predatory and oddly vulnerable, like the wolf and the man still hadn’t decided who was in charge. He kept himself close, his breath cool and shivering against her skin. “That was?” he prompted, a hint of teasing behind the gruffness. Carolina shook her head, dazed. “I have no words.” He grinned in a way that made her want to punch him and kiss him all at once. “Good. Because if you’re out of words, you’ll listen for once.” She snorted. “Unlikely.” But she didn’t protest when he pulled her against him again, his mouth finding the hollow just below her ear, then the corner of her jaw. It was softer now, as if the rough edge had burned away. When their eyes met, she felt the full weight of him—wanting, watching, almost afraid. “Say it’s not too much,” he said, voice low. She stared at him, her thumb tracing the line of his collarbone. “It’s not enough.” Xander’s expression w

  • Alpha’s Forbidden Mate   The Bond Grows More

    His hand left her waist and, with a slow, deliberate slide, tangled in the hem of her shirt. He paused just long enough for her to inhale—a single, tight breath—before he lifted the thin fabric. His palm flattened, grazing up her side, the contact electric in the hush of the room.Carolina arched toward him. His touch was tentative for just an instant—an old habit of restraint—then grew bolder, thumb sweeping beneath the curve of her breast. She shivered.“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he whispered, the words barely shaping the air.She shook her head, voice silent, body answering for her. His hand found her breast, fingers spreading, the heat of his palm striking through the thin cotton. She exhaled—shaky, unguarded—when his thumb brushed the nipple, slow and gentle at first, then pinching just enough to draw a quiet gasp from her throat. The sound seemed to undo him. He bent to kiss the side of her neck, grazing the soft skin just below her jaw with his teeth, not quite biting, t

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