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He’s staring at me as if trying to process my words. Turning on my heel, I walk away.

It hurts. It hurts so much that it feels like my heart will explode.

And the hurt is wrapped in frustration.

He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t see.

And he never will.

Chapter 18

Cedric Raine

This woman is not my Leanna. My Leanna was soft and shy. She had a sharp tongue that made unexpected appearances.

But I like this Leanna, too. I like how she stands up for herself. She has changed, but then, so have I.

I’ve tried everything: talking to her, trying to protect her, telling her the truth about why our son needs me around him. But she doesn’t seem to care about any of it.

An apology?

I stare blindly into the dark house.

Apologize? Me?

I think I’ve expressed regret for the way I treated her. Isn’t that an apology?

I hear rustling and then catch a familiar scent as Harriet’s weight settles down next to me on the bench.

She sighs. “I take it didn’t go well?”

“She despises me, Harriet.” It’s a strange feeling, an odd ache in my chest, to be hated by Leanna.

“No, she doesn’t. But she is afraid to trust you. The kind of betrayal she experienced has made her wary. Can you blame her?”

“But I never betrayed her!” I protest angrily. “I’ve told her so.”

Harriet doesn’t say anything for a full minute before she looks at me. “If you were in her shoes, would you believe you? Having your fated mate turn their back on you is very painful, Cedric. There was a lot of damage done at the very beginning of your relationship. If you’d had more time together, maybe things would not be like this. But your time together was limited.”

“I treated her well!” I feel more frustrated than ever. “I can’t—”

“Cedric.” There’s a finality to Harriet’s voice that makes me stop. “Like I was saying, if you two had had more time, things would have been different. Your bond would have been stronger.”

My wolf paces inside my head, unable to understand why our mate won’t come back to us. I don’t understand it, either. I’m here. She’s alive. We have a child. We should be together! She should be happy to see me. She should have sought me out earlier. Told me she wasn’t dead.

“What am I supposed to do, though? She won’t be able to tame our son’s wolf. In another year or so—”

“This isn’t about Finn’s wolf,” Harriet says abruptly. “The two of you are so alike, both refusing to face the truth. She needs time, Cedric. She believes me; I could see it in her eyes. She’s fighting with herself. She needs time to accept the truth, to believe that you weren’t behind the events that took place eight years ago. She needs time to accept that her reality and the foundations of this new life she has here were built on a misunderstanding.”

I’m quiet for several minutes, recalling how agonized Leanna had sounded back then, so shaken. “Harriet? Was I really that terrible to her in the beginning?”

“Yes. The girl had already been broken by everybody else in her life. You were supposed to be her safe haven, her fated mate, the one who would protect her. And even you told her she was worthless. I can’t blame her for reacting this way.”

I look at Harriet with curiosity. “Out of all the people you know, why are you so protective of Leanna?” It bothers me. It always has. From the very beginning, Harriet was drawn to her, hovering over her like a mother wolf guarding her cub. I don’t remember her being that way with me or even with her own son, Rothan.

Harriet suddenly chuckles, a long, drawn-out sound. Shaking her head, she finally says, “She reminded me of a baby bird I once rescued as a child. It had a broken wing, probably from being pushed out of the nest by its mother.” Her lips curve sadly. “I took it home, and my father helped me care for it. It was so fragile and so distrusting. It had been abandoned by its mother and its siblings, left to die. I tried to care for it, but it had lost the will to live. Ultimately, it passed away. I was very young then, and its death troubled me. My father told me that not every living thing is physically strong, and not every living thing possesses a strong will. Some beings are so broken that the desire to live simply fades away. I saw that same desolation in Leanna’s eyes, a hopelessness that told me she was on the verge of giving up. She just needed some kindness, some love. So, I gave it to her.”

She tilts her head to look at me. “That child was so desperate for affection that she thrived under it once she received it. Had you given her the love that she craved, she would never have left, Cedric. You could have told her the sky was falling, and she would’ve put her faith in you. But you broke her trust so early on that the remaining fragments were too disjointed by the time the two of you started building your relationship.”

“I looked after her.”

“You did, and that is probably why she tried to believe you till the very end, till Rothan told her about the seal on the letter.”

I swallow, lowering my gaze. “She wants me to apologize. Can you believe that? Me! I’m the king of the—”

“You’re her mate.” Harriet cuts me off. “Pride and ego have no place in a relationship, Cedric. You’re not her king, and she’s not your subject. She’s your mate.” Harriet gets to her feet. “If you’re tired, I can ask Derrick or Rothan to come watch the house.”

I shake my head. “No. This is my family. I’ll protect them.”

“Even when she shuns you?” Harriet asks quietly.

I don’t look at her. “She’ll always be mine. I lost her once. Never again.”

Harriet’s hand comes to settle on my head. “Be patient, Cedric. And think over what I said. You’re not a king when it comes to your relationship. You’re her protector, her shield, and her mate.”

I nod.

Harriet leaves, and I lean back against the park bench, staring at the night sky. Even the sky here is hazy, unclean. The air is putrid. Yet, she wants to stay here.

I let out a long breath, recalling Leanna’s words from before.

“Nobody calls me worthless here. Nobody treats me as if I have no dignity.”

“Do you know what it’s like to suffer your whole life and then find your fated mate, only to be told that even they don’t want you? Do you know how small I felt when you said such cruel things to me?”

I stand up and walk toward the trees, feeling restless. I know I wasn’t fair to her in the beginning, but I did try to look after her later on. Even as I think that, though, it seems like I must be wrong. After all, if I did everything right, why wouldn’t she want to be with me now?

I mean, I gave her my mother’s greenhouse. I had never let anybody use that greenhouse, not even Harriet.

Did I ever tell Leanna that? Did I ever tell her how important the greenhouse was to me? I had never intended to give it to her, but I wanted her to have a place where she felt safe. I had begun to care for her. I thought she knew. Looking after her and giving her things that mattered to me were the only ways I knew to show my feelings. Were they not enough?