74

I know how to love now, but Cedric is the only person who has ever shown me what it is like to be loved like this.

I feel his lips press on top of my head. “You’ve forgiven me?”

“There was nothing to forgive, Cedric.” Pulling away from him, I give him a shaky smile. “I’m a different person now, though, and I don’t know if you will like the new Leanna.”

“I like her well enough.” Cedric’s eyes glitter with something I can’t identify. “She’s perfect. She’s a good mother, and she’s strong-willed, and I like all of that about her.”

A smile spreads across my face. But then, it fades. “I won’t go back to the North, Cedric. Not till you can guarantee our safety.”

I see the shock in his eyes. “You’re considering it?”

“I want Finn to have both his parents, and you can’t exactly stay here forever.” I lean back into the couch cushion. “You’ve already got a lot on your plate what with traveling back and forth between the border and the castle. I can’t expect you to come here, as well.”

Cedric takes my hands in his, his expression anxious. “Do you prefer your life here? I know you’ve worked hard, and you have your job.”

My lips curve. “I do like my life here. I enjoy the convenience of human technology and the abundance of knowledge. And I like my job. But I also want my family. I want my son to have his father. I want to have you around. I can’t ask you to give up the kingdom and come here. I’m not a child; I understand the weight of the responsibilities that you bear.”

His voice is hard as he says, “I don’t want you to feel like a prisoner in the North. I don’t want you to feel like you have been enslaved.”

I wince as he throws my own words back at me, although his intent is not malicious.

Wetting my lips, I pull my hands away from him and tuck my feet under me before facing him completely. Some conversations are hard. This is one of them.

“I said a lot of things to you in anger. Most of them were true. When you brought me to the North, you weren’t kind in the beginning, and I was in survival mode. I was scared of doing anything to ruffle your feathers. But that’s how I had always lived my life, Cedric. Vivian found me on a street when I was a child. She didn’t like that we looked alike. She punished me for it. I was punished for daring to have been born looking like her—cruel, vicious forms of punishment that I don’t want to talk about, ever. And when you brought me to the North, your words didn’t match your actions. I thought I was being punished for daring to have been born your fated mate. Between my face and my bond with you, my existence had always been my crime. So, that’s how I lived.”

From the way his body stiffens, I know he doesn’t like what I’m saying, but he needs to hear this.

“That’s why, every time you did something considerate for me, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn’t realize that you were just genuinely trying to take care of me. I didn’t know what it felt like to be taken care of, but a part of me did believe in you. And that’s why I couldn’t understand what Bella was trying to do to me. I couldn’t believe you gave her that order. Not till the very end.”

“I know I’m uncouth, but—”

“No, you’re not.” I give him a tight-lipped smile. “You’re perfect. You were honest with me, all the time, even when I didn’t like it. There’s no subtext behind your actions, and I appreciate that. I’m glad you’re the way you are.”

My heart feels light as I finally say the words that have been eating at me. “It took me a long time to change who I was, to realize my own worth. I saw that I was capable of something, that I was an individual and not an extension of somebody else. And I needed time to learn that.”

I squeeze his hands now. “The truth is that I am accustomed to this life here. But one of us has to make a sacrifice, and we both know your responsibilities outweigh mine. I’m not so selfish as not to acknowledge that. And I don’t want Bella or Vivian to take away any more of our time together.”

I see the shift of emotions on Cedric’s face as he grips me by my shoulders, his voice urgent. “What are you saying? Are you saying you will come back?”

It’s hard to smile when the decision is weighing so heavily on my heart, but I nod. “Yes. But only after this whole matter with the kidnappings is resolved. I owe Erik that much. And then I’ll have to sell my home and everything here.” I don’t look at him as I utter those words. They’re too painful. Everything in this house, each memory is evidence that I survived and that I made it, that I made something of myself. I let out a shuddering breath before forcing my lips into a smile. I lift my head to meet his eyes. “And then, Finn and I will return with you.”

Cedric doesn’t look as pleased as I thought he would. Soon enough, I find out why.

“You don’t have to sell your home here, or all these things.” He looks around. “We can leave this place as it is. After all, once you are officially reestablished as my queen, you will have to visit the Human Wolf Kingdom for diplomatic events, on your own or with me. We can stay here.”

I blink. “Really?”

He looks serious. “This place is important to you. I don’t want you to lose something that means so much to you. This is also Finn’s childhood home. I want you to keep the house. We will stay here whenever we return to the human world.”

My eyes burn with tears, and I rest my forehead on his chest. “That’s a good plan.”

His arms come to settle around me, and he says quietly but firmly, “I don’t want you to sacrifice anything for anyone anymore. You are not to bow your head in front of anybody. You have changed, Leanna, and I am proud to be able to call you my mate. You should know that. Even back then, I was in awe of you. You were everything I could ever have dreamed of in a queen, and within such a short period of time, you brought about so much positive change in my kingdom. I can only imagine what you would have been able to achieve in these eight years that we could have been together.”

His words make my heart beat faster. I’ve always told myself that I worked incredibly hard to get to where I am. But to have Cedric also acknowledge this feels different.

He lifts my face, his hands on my cheeks, a soft, intimate gesture. “Once we return, I will put the kingdom’s treasury at your disposal. I don’t want to bring you back to a land where you lack the comforts that you have grown accustomed to here. I think it’s time for the North to adapt to the wonders of human technology.”

My lips part as I gape at him. I’m shocked. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” The North is so entrenched in its olden ways that for Cedric to even suggest such a massive change is mind-boggling.