21

Well, I don’t know what he will do, but I’m starting to think this place isn’t as bad as I initially thought. If I can just stay here and be useful, I might be able to carve out a niche for myself. I’m still living in Princess Vivian’s shadow, but the mark I leave on this place will be my own.

Bella looks like she has something to say to me, but she bites her tongue. “Fine. I should have known it was pointless.”

As she turns around, I see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. I divert my gaze. My intention was not to hurt her, but that was inevitable. I have to protect myself.

 

  

“There’s no reason for you to feel bad for her.”

I’m standing on the terrace of the bedroom when a large coat is dumped on me. The scent coming from it is instantly comforting, and I look over my shoulder to see Cedric standing behind me. Despite my apprehension toward him, since I am his mate, his scent brings me a comfort that I’ve never experienced before. I know it is my wolf’s reaction to his, but if I close my eyes and bury myself in his coat, I feel safe.

“What are you talking about?” I ask innocently, trying to discreetly wrap myself up in the warm coat.

He was wearing a sleeveless vest under the coat, and as he crosses his arms over his chest, his muscles bulge. I look at them admiringly. I really want to run my hands over them to see whether they are soft or hard. But I would not dare to touch this man without his permission.

“Bella. I heard she came to visit you. You denied her request.”

I sneak a glance at his eyes. “If you want to reinstate her, I won’t object.”

“No. She hasn’t learned her lesson yet.”

I try to burrow even deeper into the coat. “She was crying when she left. That’s why I feel bad. I feel like I stole something from her.”

It feels like everything I am, I stole from Princess Vivian and from Bella Asher. Am I even necessary?

“She was simply holding down the fort until the new queen arrived.” Cedric looks down at me. “She was aware of that. She just doesn’t like the idea of letting go of the control she has had up till now. I decide who runs this castle. You aren’t stealing anything from anyone. Stop wasting your time with this foolish idea.”

I huff silently.

“The full moon is going to take place in a few weeks,” Cedric suddenly says. “I will talk to the healer. If your body is able, we will try for an heir.”

My fingers tighten in the fabric of the coat. I know what that means. He plans to have sex with me.

He has never attempted it before, and I chalked it up to the fact that he simply did not want to sleep with someone who wasn’t a real princess. Or maybe he was simply not attracted to me. I know that wolves are carnal creatures. We need physical intimacy. But Cedric has never even kissed me.

And I’ve never had the mental capacity to look at him as anything other than my captor. Now, the idea that we will have to be intimate shocks me back into reality. My wolf rolls over in my mind, pleased with this development. Meanwhile, a soft flush crawls over my body. Compared to me, Cedric is massive. He has large, bulky muscles, and if he wanted to, he could crush me very easily. I’m well aware of his strength. And I have to be intimate with him—

I hear him sniff the air, and then he rumbles in his chest. “Leanna.”

My eyes squeeze shut at the warning edge to his tone. It reaches down to the very core of me, my lower muscles tensing in anticipation of…something.

“Behave,” he growls.

I tremble as a strange desire wraps itself around me. “I—I should go. I feel unwell.”

I move past him, desperate to get away from him, but he grabs my arm and yanks me back. I slam into his chest, and when I look up at him, there’s something in his eyes that makes my knees feel weak.

“W–What?” I stammer out.

“Your scent.”

His brows are knitted together, and when he lowers his mouth, I feel his breath against the side of my neck. A small sound leaves my lips, and I feel something hard pressing against my stomach. The realization of what it is makes me stumble backward, but Cedric’s arm wraps around my waist, keeping me in place.

“How many lovers have you had, Leanna?” he murmurs, his voice dark and filled with a hunger that is feeding the treacherous insanity growing within me.

“One,” I whisper. “A long time ago.”

“How long?”

I can’t even budge in his hold, his arm like a steel band around my body. “I was sixteen. Eight years ago.”

“That’s all?”

I don’t want to remember his name or his face. I don’t want to remember how he sweet-talked me into his bed.

“He was Princess Vivian’s friend. He had made a—” Humiliation has me trying to pull away. “There was a wager involved, and he won. The princess didn’t like losing to him, and I was punished. That’s it. He’s the only man I’ve ever been with.”

“A wager?” My mate narrows his eyes, studying me. “About what?”

“Is this conversation really necessary?” I ask desperately. “I would rather not think about it. It was a long time ago.”

I expect him to push me on this, but to my surprise, he nods. “Very well.”

The mention of my first heartbreak has my chest tightening. I’ve learned a lot of lessons in life; the princess made sure of it. Even now, as I gaze at my mate, I realize that I don’t trust him because of the lessons Princess Vivian taught me. I know what awaits me down the line.

I can try to be a good queen. I can put everything I learned to use.

But I can never trust this man not to hurt me.

My heart has been so badly scarred that I can’t even fathom letting anybody near it. I know what betrayal is. I know what it tastes like, what it feels like. If I stop trying to figure out the motivations behind his actions, and just focus on doing what he tells me to do, I might be more comfortable.

“I should go to bed now,” I say quietly, pulling away from him. He’s looking at me, and when he doesn’t stop me, I feel relieved. I don’t want to have a conversation with him right now.

However, I’ve only taken two steps away from him when he suddenly says, “You’re going the wrong way.”

Startled, I look back at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“There’s something I want to show you.”

“At this time of night?” I inquire warily.

He gives me an irritated look. “Yes. Do you have a problem with that?”

I can’t actually defy him. “Of course not.”

“Good. Get on.”

Before I even register his words, he shifts into his wolf form in a quick shimmer of light. I suck in a breath when I see the large, black wolf standing in front of me. He sniffs me and then nudges me with his head. When I don’t react, he snaps his teeth in my face, making me flinch.

Almost instantly, he takes a step back, as if to tell me he didn’t mean it. When he nudges me again, I realize he wants me to climb onto his back.

“Oh.” I wrap his coat tighter around me before mounting him with some difficulty. His fur is soft, and he huffs when my fingers dig into it. “Where are we—”

I don’t get to finish my question because he takes a few steps back from the railing and then runs forward and leaps over it. A startled scream leaves my mouth, and I swear I hear Cedric’s wolf huff in amusement.

I bury my face in his fur.