LOGINMatildaI finish my shoot rehearsals in the afternoon and before heading home, I decide to stop by Amanda's office. I hear my heels click on the shiny black marble floor as I turn to the other Hall where Amanda's office is. I spot a woman with a baby in her arms coming out of Amanda's office. The baby is crying and the woman whom I'm guessing it's his mom tries to calm him down. The sight makes me smile and I can't help but think of me in that woman's place, and holding my own baby and rocking him to calm down. I have also wanted to start a family but I don't think now's the time. But I do know becoming a mother is the most wonderful thing in the world for a woman. “Hello,” I smile at the woman and she looks at me only briefly before her baby's cries gets her attention almost immediately. She shushes him with little soothing words and it proves difficult to stop him from crying. But eventually he slowly calms down and nestles himself in his mom's arms.“He's such an angel,” I commen
MatildaMichael drops me back at my apartment. The ride from the theatre back home was silent and almost deafening. I tried to make conversations with Michael but I didn't say a word. I just always looked at him as he drove with his eyes forward.My chest tightens after Michael parks the car in front of my building. The air feels quite tight but I know it's not the heat at all. It's just me. I am the one who's made things all awkward between us. It's my fear that stops me from giving my very all because I always think that one day he might decide to tell me that he'd never stopped loving my sister and that nobody could take her place.“Aren't you heading inside or do you want me to take you somewhere else?” Michael asks me and when I look at him, his eyes are simple looking ahead like he's found something in front very fascinating. He's ignoring me, of course. And I am to blame for it. Because of my self doubts.“I am sorry.” I say after the silence tries to rob me of my sanity. “You
MatildaOf all places to run into my sister, it's a movie theater. I wonder what she is doing here but that's really not the issue at hand. My sister is currently staring at me. No, scratch that, she's glaring at me and to make matters worse, Michael's hold around my waist tightens, not at all embarrassed or nervous about how my sister will react. For a moment, everything blurs. I didn't want her to find out like this. I can't say Michael and I aren't a couple. Seraphina won't even believe me if I said that because I am sure she and her friends had seen us kissing.Seraphina heaves with anger and before I can try to explain to her, her friend on the left speaks up.“Wow! Your own sister is making out in public with your fiance, Sera? I'm in shock.”“Ex-fiance.” Michael corrects, sharp and bold. Somehow his confidence reduces my nervousness and doubts. I can see that there's absolutely no feelings for my sister left in him. He's completely forgotten about her. “That's not true!” Sera
MichaelI look at Matilda and I know that she's definitely hiding something big from me. For the past two weeks I've sensed it and she even told she was going to inform me about it when the right time came.Matilda's eyes are focused on the big screen in front of us, while her right hand absentmindedly disappears inside the jumbo-sized bucket of popcorn close to her chest. The movie we're both watching doesn't interest me anymore. I know I said I'd trust her and wait for the right time. But two whole weeks is enough for her to tell me her secret.I don't know why I feel a little concerned that she doesn't completely trust me enough to tell me the things that she's doing secretly. I'd decided to trust her and didn't have anyone follow her. And even now I still don't regret my decision, but the fact that she doesn't count on me for support or reliving her burden on makes my body feel anxious.Suddenly I look away and the thought kills me, I don't know why. It bothers me so much that the
MatildaTwo weeks go by in the blink of an eye before I can even realize it has. I'd signed the modelling contract already after having it thoroughly read with my lawyer. I was honestly speechless by the commission I was going to receive after just doing one campaign. I knew they pay a lot in the modelling industry, but honestly I am still amazed by how much even a first timer rookie like me can be paid when just starting out.I practiced more and let Amanda's team train me and prepare me properly. I can confidently say to myself that my body has been groomed into the shape of a model's body. I can even walk very comfortable on long and high heels for a long time without loosing my balance or feeling a sprain around my ankles.Michael and I are more strong than before. Yesterday he came to my apartment, I made pasta for him and he had no choice but to eat it whole without complaining for another meal being prepared for him. But, I did reward him with his favorite after dessert. We ta
MatildaBefore leaving for home, I make a stop by the supermarket to get some groceries for my new apartment. I buy a few snacks, some fruits and vegetables. I stroll with my shopping cart toward the pharmacy section, and I spot some contraceptives in one of the aisles. All the time Michael and I have been together, we have yet to use protection and I don't want any consequences right now.I take two pill bottles and toss them into my cart. I smile when I remind myself that I am on my way to becoming a model. Once I sign the contract, I'll officially be a part of Amanda's team.I walk past the milk aisle and my eyes spots oatmilk cartons in the refrigerator. I am easily reminded of Seraphina. Dad had told me she was fine already but she was yet to be discharged from the hospital.Just then my phone vibrates in my bag. I stop to unzip my back and take out my phone. My eyes lights up when I see mom's name appear on my screen. We haven't spoken since the outburst.“Hello, mom?...” I smil
MatildaI didn't sleep a wink at all last night. I was much too upset and.... and I couldn't stop thinking about all that Michael said to me. It can't be possible that he's suddenly in love with me. No, that's not possible.My alarm for seven forces me up and I know today is a more hectic day and t
MatildaYes, my heart is broken as I enter Michael's office. It's always going to be the same. Michael will always prioritize Seraphina over me. I heard him pick my sister's call and didn't even want to hear whatever they were talking about.I know I shouldn't have done what I did, but I feel more
Matilda I shake my head, trying to dispel all of the wrong scenarios that might happen if I think Michael is about to say what I think he's about to say. I walk closely behind dad in the hallway. I try not to seem affected because I just don't want to be responsible for what might happen downstairs
MatildaI don't feel like waking up but I have to. I sit up straight on my bed and I look out the window to see the weather gloomy and the clouds disappearing. The signs of an upcoming rain makes me want to lie back on my bed and pull the covers over myself once again.In short I honestly do not wa







