"Huh?"
The other numbers that walked in seemed just as surprised as me.
For a brief second, time stopped.
Did I fail?
But I just got here! I could see myself leaving the building here seeing Amara's disappointed expression.
That day at school, her twinkling brown eyes that dimmed into a soulless void.
"You failed? Oh..."
My very reality was on the verge of shattering into pieces.
No. No. Amara wouldn't say that.
*Even if by some chance those lovely people turn out to be dipshits and reject you Kagami, we can always turn to whotube!*
But was that just her way of comforting me?
"...have completely no sense of style for a rock artist. Your hairstyle and guitar are the only things that truly embody the spirit of rock. Let's hope your performance isn't as lacking." I heard only half of what she had said.
My heart that had frozen and dropped slowly floated up to relief and irritation.
"Stop intimidating the contestant, Ms. Yumena." A bald man wearing shades spoke calmly, he looked familiar.
"Yumena?! As in Yumena from Blacklist?!" I heard one of the other contestants say.
I had been too shocked for the judge's identity to even register, Yumena? The daughter of this company's CEO.
Never expected to run into a celebrity here... even though I liked their songs... I wasn't as big as a fan as my former bandmates, Izanagi and Gen. As I looked around the room I realized it wasn't just her, there were a lot of other famous musicians here... but the shock from earlier numbed my senses. At the moment I was only feeling one emotion.
I raked my hands through the front of my hair while pointing at myself with the other.
"I came here to audition as a composer, not as a musician."
Hearing this, the judges' looks were pointed at the silver-haired woman, Yumena, her eyes clouded over when she heard me say this.
"Hmph! If that was so then why didn't you just say so?"
"...I just did?"
One of the judges, a woman with spiky pink hair coughed.
At first, I thought she was Loraine, the lead singer, and guitarist from the band BlackPeace but she was wearing less make-up than I was familiar with, she also looked healthier, she went off the map after a drug scandal five years back, but my gaze kept gravitating to her every now and then.
Something told me it was her. She seemed to be choking down a laugh. It bothered me.
"Don't mind her." The bald man, I'm pretty sure he's the bassist/cellist/drummer Satoshi from Blacklist! he glanced at the form I had submitted online perhaps to confirm my claim.
"Fukuda Kagami-san, correct?"
"Yes, sir."
I heard one of the contestants gasp.
"That's-"
"Ahem!" A chic man with silky long black hair, Renjiro, a bassist/screamer from the former heavy metal band, Ainz glanced in the contestants' direction.
"Quiet down."
Satoshi-san gestured for me to go ahead.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't start to feel nervous then. The room was filled with bigwigs, also nearly getting kicked out left my heart pounding.
As I unzipped my guitar case my hands were trembling.
I exhaled as I strapped on my guitar. And dried my sweating hands on my jeans before reaching for my pic. I stood.
"You're not here to audition as a musician what are you so nervous for?" Ms. Yumena sneered.
At that moment I could feel Amara's warm hand pressed against my back. Nudging me to go on.
The warmth reached my heart that hardened.
"I'll be performing a song I wrote myself. I hope you find it...satisfactory. I named it Golden Hysteria."
The judges waited.
I inhaled and before I began, envisioned Amara standing outside there waiting for me. It actually made me even more anxious. I exhaled.
It's hot outside, I hope she waits in the lobby at least.
"Any day now." Ms. Yumena said checking her nails.
I began to play carefully.
"The light's out~ the fans are gone ~
I stay to practice one more song ~
The silence that fills these walls
are deafening ~
Was it all a lie?
Those cheers that nearly reached the sky. ~
And the bodies that moved at the wave of my hannnnd. ~
And the bodies that moved at the wave of my hannnnnnnd.~
And the bodies that moved at the wave of my HAANNND!~
Goooolden Hysteriaaaa! ~
I reach for you and you all reach for me!~
When I am old and grey~
I'll recall my glory days~
And your voices will sing with me~
In symphony! ~
Goooolden Hysteriaaaaa!
Those days we nearly became God!
The hearts we struck,
The hearts we stole,
I don't want to forget it at all.
Should God smite me I would need to know why~
Should God smite me I would need to know whhhhy~
Should God smite me I would need to remember whhhhyyyyyyy! ~
Heaaaaaavens, can't you stop time for meeeeeee?~
I need to burn this scene into my minnnnnd!~
I'll maake it a mold!
An encased art piece of hysteria in gooooold....
Of the bodies that moved at the waaaave of my hannnnd...
Was it all a lie?
Those cheers that nearly reached the sky~
And the bodies that moved at the waaaaaaaaaaave... of my hannnnnd!
And the bodies that moved at the WAAAAve OF myyyy HAAAnnnnnd...~"
It felt like I was back on Earth once I finished. I suddenly became conscious of the deafening silence.
The faces of the judges were unreadable furthering my feeling of disorientation.
Loraine, was the first to speak.
"I would have loved to sing this song if I were still back in the band."
My mind went blank.
Yumena looked to her and said something but I didn't hear anything at that moment.
"Aaah, how nostalgic." Loraine tucked her hand underneath her cheek, her lips curving but she looked slightly sad.
Loraine from BlackPeace liked my song.
Loraine from BlackPeace liked my song.
Loraine from BlackPeace liked my song.
Loraine from BlackPeace liked my song.
Loraine from BlackPeace liked my song.
"Fukuda-san has left the chat." A young European kid watching with folded arms behind Renjiro took note with an amused expression.
*The judges stared at Fukuda who was still standing there but his eyes were glassy looking*
"No way, was he a fan of yours Loraine?" Yumena asked.
Loraine blinked.
"Eh? Is he? I don't know. More importantly, what did you think of his song Satoshi, Ren-Kun?" Loraine looked to the two guys who had yet to voice their opinions.
"...I'd like to know more before I form my own opinion." Satoshi stated.
"Fukuda-san... Fukuda-san!" Loraine called out to Fukuda who blinked.
He pointed at himself.
Lorraine sweetly smiled at me. "That's right Hon. What else could you tell us about yourself?"
"Huh? Oh well, I can play the piano... I can also speak English and uh... ah! I was in a band in middle school, I wrote most of their songs. They're name is-"
"Azure Phoenix!" That rowdy contestant from earlier interrupted me.
"Th-that's right, you know me?
"I knew it! I knew it had to be you! You performed with them in the gym during graduation! I shared the video with dozens of my friends on who tube!" I had ignored him earlier but I recognized him almost immediately once he started babbling.
Back then he was an average middle school student who dressed neatly as a model student but now he had dyed his hair tomato red, had a bunch of ear piercings, and wore a leather jacket. Simply put he was completely punked out compared to back then. What kind of pokemon evolution is this?!
"Are you Fukami-san from the newspaper club?" He was always poking his head in our club room. Our very first fanboy.
"To think you remembered me Fukuda-san..." Fukami's face nearly became as red as his hair as he covered his mouth.
"If you are who you say you are, why haven't you applied to the same label as them? I'm sure your old buddies back at Azure Phoenix would be more than willing to have you." Mr. Satoshi probed. "Not only can you compose music you're also good enough to be subbed into a band."
"Oi, oi, you're not thinking of-" The long-haired fellow glanced at Satoshi-san.
He didn't respond. He was waiting for my response.
"That... it's embarrassing but I haven't kept in touch with them ever since my move. I decided to audition because I wanted... to continue writing music. If you're really suspicious about my identity I can show you the royalty checks as well as my middle school graduation video..."
Everyone looked to Mr. Satoshi who seemed to be withholding his response. He looked to Renjiro-san.
"Ren-kun what did you think?"
"He's good enough isn't he? His guitar playing had soul, and his voice is refreshing to the ear, though if Kazuo were here, I'd bet he'd have more to say. He has potential. It's a pass for me."
Good enough. It meant that my playing wasn't that remarkable. I didn't take it personally, after all my goal wasn't to become a rock legend.
"Then it's fine. Does everyone agree?"
Loraine nodded vigorously and so did Yumena, shockingly.
"Very well then, congratulations, contestant 43, you passed."
"Eh... EH?!"
You passed.
You passed.
You passed.
"Oi! Hurry up and step aside! There are other contestants you know?!"
"Oh, I'm sorry! I mean thank you!" I deeply bowed at a 90-degree angle. My heartfelt light.
Satoshi-san waved me away.
"We'll contact you on a later day using the given contact info on your form."
"Yes, thank you so much!"
"To see you so ecstatic as if you already aren't sort of famous, is sort of odd isn't it?" Lorraine commented.
"Eh..."
"Even the song he played should be beyond him..." Mr. Satoshi muttered. "He was still able to fill the audience with the right emotions."
"Contestant 44 please step forward."
I stood off to the side. I didn't have to wait long. The remaining contestants were all part of the same band so they performed together.
I was surprised. Fukami-san... you, you really came a long way! His band...was good. In the end though one of his members made a mistake, but Fukami-san pulled through carrying the song with his bass.
Once everyone was finished grading we all left together. Fukami-kun bombarded me with a billion questions as we made our way out into the lobby. His group didn't make it but he was still unexpectedly chipper.
"Why are you auditioning here?"
"How come you didn't audition at MIDAS? Did they reject you?"
"Do the guys know you're signing at another agency? Did you guys fight?"
Some of those questions were too specific and made my newfound confidence dwindle, I dared not answer. I might fall into a pit of depression.
"Kagami."
That voice.
Amara was sitting in the lobby, she stood at the sight of me.
My joy was re-kindled.
"Amara!" I lunged at her.
She looked startled and dodged.
I crashed into the bench.
"I'm sorry! I mean, what's the matter? Did- did you...?"
I looked up at her, not even the throbbing pain I felt in my face could halt the grin stretching across it.
"I passed!"
"...Huh? Huh?!" Her eyes glittered with excitement.
She clapped her hands together. Her mouth stretched. "Ohmygosh you passed?! Congratulations Kagami!" She hugged me.
Something soft pressed against my chest. Kyaaaaaaa! ~ What is this burning marshmallowy feeling?!
Watching off at a distance, onlookers held an odd expression on their faces but I paid no mind to it.
"Hehehe..."
If you asked me to scale my measurement of happiness at that moment it was paramount to infinity.
There were a lot of things said that I couldn't ignore, as I stood before her bedroom door I mulled it over. I've never thought of what it's like to be a Black American, what's it like to grow up internalizing that history of mistreatment and death, the impact that would have on her psychology: her view of the world and of others. Recalling her not wanting me to help carry her bags, I realized now that it was much deeper than that. Has she steeled herself to being disliked, and not accepting help? Was it because of her Race, or her upbringing due to the absence of a Father? Did she really believe what she said?I lowered my head as I knocked on her door. "Amara?"I heard a muffled sound, and opened the door to see her screaming into a duck shaped pillow.I closed the door behind me. I felt uncomfortable, and hesitant on how to broach the subject. Claire's stunt had clearly spooked her so let's start there. I didn't ask for permission to approach, and simply sat on the bed next to her.
That following evening the tension between Amara and Claire came to an all-time head."Don't you think you're being childish?!" I was eating out in the mini courtyard with Izanagi when we heard Claire raising her voice. It was unusual from her bubbly self so I naturally found myself getting up to crack the door open. "What?" "You didn't leave any dinner for me!" I couldn't see Amara but she sounded like she was in the living room."Ohhhh, so now you want to eat from me? Claire can't you see the childish one is you? I mean, why the hell should I make food for you just for you to throw it away, when this isn't a fucking hotel? Money doesn't grow on fucking trees, I know you might because of you're rich Daddy, but we don't do that here. If you want to eat something make it yourself."So she saw what she did this morning huh? I'm surprised she didn't say anything on the spot, she hated wasting food."I only threw it away because you kept being a bitch, like why would I want to eat tha
We were all gathered downstairs for breakfast when Claire hesitantly made her way down. I spotted her peeking behind the glass wall, from the barstool of the kitchen counter. "Oh, Claire." I've been here for three days, but this was the first time I've seen her.She hesitated at the sight of us."Good Morning." she tried. "Morning!" Izanagi beamed. As she shuffled past him to the fridge she paused. "Um...I'm-""You're good. We're good." She studied him a bit before becoming more Claire-like. There was some bubble in her step when she retrieved a pitcher of orange juice before making her way to the stove where Amara rolled an egg. For some reason, she thought it was a good idea to stick out her head in front of her over the frying pan. "Good Morning!~" Her rejuvenated mood and bubbly smile all seemed to bounce off Amara who shifted away from Claire entirely as she plated the dish. Claire stood there frozen for a second. Maybe Amara was trying to protect her from the oil, or mayb
"You said you wouldn't post it." Claire sat down in her room and sheepishly smiled. "I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal if I posted it in on my other social media in China... I didn't think anyone would know him there." There's been many times in my life where I've been angry with Claire but this was the first time I've ever felt compelled to physically slap some sense into her head. The only thing stopping me was the presence of Izanagi. Still, I couldn't help clenching my fists and taking a breath. Instead, these words escaped me. "Why...why must you always be so selfish?!" She looked up to me in shock with parted lips. "...What?" I held everything else I wanted to say back and turned to address a quiet Izanagi. "Um, I'm so sorry about this." He blinked and scratched his neck awkwardly before finally flashing an uncertain smile. "To be honest... I won't really be the one affected by it. If anything the two of you might get some hate... but it'll probably be fine... prob
I have no comments on the final performance other than this. It was a disaster, I also have no idea what Kurata-san was thinking. Maybe the sight of the cameras intimidated him, during the performance he even changed his playing, in the third verse of the song, it was as if he was trying to overshadow Tani-san. At the end of the song the air was odd, charged by that awkward display, that made everyone avoid looking at each other. The judges looked just as confused as I felt, as we all tried to process what just happened. Pansy-san, a hot-pink-haired female vocalist and guitarist from the band Tattletail was present. Back in her day of fame she was constantly compared to Lorraine-san as they both loved hot pink hair and were often confused to be the same due to their similar voice. She was the first to break the silence. "What just happened?" When no one could answer her she asked again. "What was that? Hello?... Why is no one saying anything?!" She leaned forward to glare but when
Reminders: (surname 1st, name last) Yoshida Hachiro- drums Kurata Sosuke- guitar Tani Rinko- electric violin Fukuda Kagami- currently plays the role of vocalist. Honorifics: san-Mr/ Miss kun- semi/formal title for guys of same age as speaker In the end, Hachiro-kun had no power to do anything. Or rather when he came back from allegedly doing it his face was awkward and twisted. I was waiting in the room with Fukuda-san and Sosuke-kun when he calmly asked. "So? How'd it go?" He didn't answer right away as he begrudgingly stood in a corner of the room with his hands on his hips. Finally, he huffed. "...Are you the project event organizer's son or something?" "No." "Don't lie." "Don't go making excuses. It's simple, I'm from an actual band that has already performed at actual locations with others meanwhile no one has ever heard of you. So if you walk up to them saying you can't work with me, they'll naturally think the problem is you and be less willing to listen to whateve