Chapter Eighteen

I pace around in my quarters, thinking of what to just happen between us. The look on his face when I talk about his late mate, he must have go through a lot back then.

I rush out of the quarter and head to the training ground. But he is not there again, I turn and run to his chamber. I see his back diverting into the hallway leading to his chamber.

I don’t even think before running after him. His footsteps resounds, pulling something that has refused to stay still out of me.

“Rex!” I call out to him.

He doesn’t stop instead he increases his pace. He slams the door heavily behind him but I reach it just in time for it to echo in my face.

My hands press against the wood. “Rex, open the door.”

No response, I push the door open and grits my teeth.

He’s there, sitting on his bed staring blankly at the fireplace. He holds a drink in his hand, ignoring my presence.

“What do you want, Raya?” he asks, his tone low and void of emotions.

“I just want to know why?” I close the door and stroll towards him.

“Why what?”

“Why don't you want me?”

That gets his attention. He lifts his head up, glaring at me.

“Can’t you just stay away from me?”

“Answer me.” I take a step closer. “You keep running, you keep pretending none of this means anything, but I can feel it, Rex. I know you can too.”

“You talk like you know me.” He looks away.

“I know you well enough…,” I pause, taking a deep breath. “I understand you don't like me enough to want me as your mate. I know you want me the same way I want you, but you won't admit. I want to understand why?”

“You wouldn’t want the answer.” He drops the glass on the table.

“Tell me.”

He finally turns and looks at me, the pain in his eyes almost made me choke.

“It’s not about you,” he explains.

“Then who is it about?”

“It’s about me, Raya.”

“I don't consider that an answer.”

“Maybe that's the only answer I have.”

I stare at him, frustration bubbling beneath my skin. “Was I not your type? Is that it?” The words slip out before I can stop them, bitter and small. “Too different? Too stubborn? Not… enough?”

His jaw tightens. “Don’t say that.”

“Then tell me what it is!”

He moves closer, and suddenly the space between us collapses. I can feel the heat coming off him, the quiet vibration of his pulse. My own breathing quickens shallow, restless.

“Raya,” he warns softly.

“What?” I whisper, trying to hold his gaze, but my heart is pounding so hard it’s hard to think straight.

“You can’t keep running from this. From me.”

He exhales, eyes flicking to my lips and then away. “You don’t understand what you’re asking for.”

“Then make me understand.”

For a second, neither of us moves. The air feels heavy, charged. My body reacts before my mind catches up warmth spreading through my stomach, that strange pull deep under my skin whenever he’s near. It’s stronger now, like my whole being recognizes something my brain refuses to name.

I swallow hard, trying to steady myself. “Every time you walk away, it hurts. And I don’t even know why it hurts this much.”

He takes a slow step forward. “Because the bond doesn’t care what we want.”

“Then why fight it?”

He lets out a bitter laugh, low and cracked. “Because bonds destroy. They take everything good and twist it until you forget who you were.”

“Is that what happened to her?” I ask quietly.

He flinches, and for a moment I think he won’t answer. But then his voice drops to a whisper. “It started long before her.”

I frown, confusion flickering through the fog of warmth clouding my head. “What do you mean?”

He doesn’t look at me when he speaks. “My bloodline carries something old. Something cursed. It doesn’t die with us it binds, feeds on connection. The stronger the bond, the faster it consumes.”

His voice trembles slightly. “I watched it happen to my father. I thought I could fight it. But when she…” He stops, swallows hard. “When my Luna died, I realized I was the reason she did.”

My breath catches. “Rex…”

He shakes his head. “Don’t. You wanted the truth, there it is. I can’t take another mate. The curse doesn’t end; it just finds new ways to hurt. I won’t let it use you.”

For a moment, all I hear is the fire and my own heartbeat. The room feels smaller, heavier.

I take a hesitant step closer. “You think pushing me away will stop it?”

“It has to.”

“But it won’t,” I say softly. “Because it’s already here. Whatever this is, it’s not going away just because you tell it to.”

He looks at me then really looks and something inside me breaks. His eyes are glassy, the mask slipping.

“Do you think I don’t want you?” he says quietly. “Do you think I don’t wake up every night fighting the pull to go to you?”

His voice cracks. “I do, Raya. Every damn night. And it terrifies me.”

The words hit deep. My breath hitches, my chest rising too fast. I don’t know what to do with my hands, with my body that suddenly feels too hot, too alive.

He takes another step closer, and my control starts to slip. The bond hums between us, alive and wild. My knees feel weak.

“Rex…”

“Don’t say my name like that,” he mutters, jaw tight.

“Like what?”

“Like you want me to break.”

“I don’t,” I whisper, but the tremor in my voice betrays me.

He stops an inch away, close enough that I can feel his breath against my cheek. The firelight paints gold in his eyes, and for a heartbeat, I swear time holds still.

Then something inside me shifts, a sharp ache that burns down my spine. My breath catches, turning into a soft, involuntary sound that startles both of us.

I stumble back, clutching the edge of the table for balance. My body feels like it’s caught in a current I can’t fight.

He freezes. “Raya.”

“I…” My voice falters. “What’s happening to me?”

His expression darkens. “It’s the bond. The curse reacts to emotion. The closer we get, the stronger it pulls.”

“So what, I’m just supposed to..” I stop, shivering as another wave of warmth rolls through me. “..pretend I don’t feel this?”

“Yes,” he says, too quickly. “Pretend. Leave before it gets worse.”

I meet his eyes, breath shaking. “You really think I can just walk away from you?”

“I need you to.”

His voice is almost pleading now. And that, that hurts more than anger ever could.

For a long, terrible moment, we just stand there, breathing the same uneven air, both of us caught in something we can’t undo.

Finally, I force myself to turn toward the door. “You say it’s the curse,” I whisper, “but I think it’s fear.”

He doesn’t reply. Just stares into the fire, fists clenched, jaw tight.

I take one last look at him before walking out. My legs feel heavy, my pulse still racing.

Outside, the night feels colder, harsher. I press my hand to my chest, trying to calm the strange rhythm of my heart, the lingering heat under my skin.

I tell myself that I will stay away from home but I know deep down that I won't. The look I saw in his eyes wasn't just a curse, I see someone fighting the whole world all his life.