Chapter Four- Reasons

Jackson's POV

Fifteen years and sitting across from her made my heart palpitate the same way it had done as a goddamn teenager. Although her deep brown eyes and plush lips remained the same in our time apart, everything else seemed different in an unfair beauty. Her hair was longer and her skin looked softer. A few more beauty marks that came into view from what I could remember. But it was that look she gave me as we sat in silence that was almost my undoing. It was the way I always wanted her to look at me. I could easily become addicted to it.

“What do you want to know first?”

“You died…”

“Is that a question?”

“What happened?” I refrained from telling her why I was attacked to begin with as she'd only feel guilty. I glazed over that and let out a sigh and focused on what brought me here now.

“I did die, Maree.” The shortened version of her name was a bittersweet relief on my tongue. I was fearful the day would never come in which I could speak it again, but I was almost more worried of what was at risk now that it had. Once she understood what I'd done to get back to her. More importantly, what I was now willing to do to keep her.

“For twenty minutes. They had me on one of those machines that breathe for you. Something kept me from leaving you and I came back…” I explained in truth as I felt wholeheartedly that whatever rough draw I'd been given in life took pity on me in death in knowing I couldn't leave her.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Her question was laced in venom as she ignored the champagne I offered her.

“My mom…She moved us.”

“Because of me?”

“No.” Because of her father. But she didn't need to know that yet.

“So for fifteen years you've been…” She waited for me to fill in the blanks.

“Waiting.” She scoffed before standing to leave, my shirt loose over the curves she'd more than grown into as I fought to admire them openly.

“So while I have had to carry around a broken heart for half of my life you've just been…what? Clubbing it up? Getting a…gang together?” She almost chuckled with disbelief from the farcry it was from the boy she thought had died.

“I couldn't come back until I could protect myself.” I was honest, hoping she could see that behind my eyes.

“From who?”

“It doesn't matter.” I explained.

“It does do me.”

“What matters is the future, Maree.” My eyes fell to the ring on her left hand. That damn diamond I wanted to grind to a powder. But was he really the worse option considering my sins?

“No. I still have too many questions…”

“And there will be time for answers but we have to go…”

“What? I'm not going anywhere until you tell me everything you're hiding. I can see it. You still play with your inner cheek when you're hiding something from me!” I fought a smile that came from her noticing a detail like this.

“In time…”

“Don't do that! Don't write me off because you were the one person who has never done that.”

“I promise you that you'll know everything.” I pulled my watch beneath my gaze, struggling to find a viable excuse to keep from looking at her.

“But right now we are on borrowed time as it is. After tonight, I will explain the rest of it…” Because after tonight she won't be able to be taken away from me again.

“Why not now?” She set her hands at a purchase on either hip. What was once a simple act of immature defiance had me fighting a smirk to how attractive it was now. Good to see some things never change.

“Because we have an appointment…” I finished my own glass of champagne before striding to the door of the board room. Out of curiosity, she went through the frame I held open for her. Halfway through, she turned to me with a finger to my chest and suddenly she was close enough to smell all the scents she had as a woman. The childish perfume she used to layer a bit too thick was now delicate and rich-like honey. Her shampoo or hairspray was a slight hint of raspberry that complimented her and it has my mind conjuring all the ways of forcing that smell into me. My sheets. Our sheets…

“The only reason I'm letting you whisk me away without answers is because I know deep down inside you'd never hurt me. But make no mistake that I already impaled one man today, I'm not above doing it to two.” I didn't care to hide my smile to her threat as it was more than just humorous-it was downright sexy.

“I'd never hurt you, Amara.” Her eyes dropped to my lips as I spoke the name and I hope for once she felt the pull to close the distance as I used to all those years ago. But what was once a pull was now an inevitable magnetism. I wouldn't close it until she wanted to. If she ever did. Until she knew everything and still chose me- chose us.

“But I am not the same scrawny kid who couldn't defend himself. Now, I can easily throw you over my shoulder if need be.” She swallowed nearly audibly as I grinned at her reaction.

“After you…” I led her into the direction of the elevators and into the private garage at the very second my phone informed me of her father's search team. By the time they would consider coming here we would be far enough away from his reach. As long as she didn't fight me as she had my men.

“How didn't I know you were alive?” She asked just before the doors came open to my waiting Cadenza.

“I made sure you didn't…” I opened the passenger door and watched her hesitate before slipping inside. She faced me just before bending, leaving us only a few inches apart. A champagne kiss just within reach.

“Are you going to kill me?” Her question broke my heart as I gripped the door to keep from caressing her face.

“I'm making sure nobody else can. Please, get inside…” I asked in near desperation for mercy. I was driven to protect her but the only thing stronger than that was my desire for her. Because of that, I needed to keep a distance until it was her decision. If it never was, I would still protect her above all else.

She finally moved inside as I came to the driver's side and began our journey across town. Passing several personnel on her father's payroll who were searching the city for the car on the hotel's security footage, we made our way around them unscathed.

“Is this like a hair appointment or something? I thought you always liked my hair long…” I wrapped my hand tightly around the steering wheel in the same way I imagined it in her hair. I couldn't look at her as I’d very well pull the car over and prove it, and so I continued to stare ahead.

“Not a beautician.”

“Then tattoos? You seem to have a few…” I nodded. One day I'd explain how every single one has been inspired by her one way or another.

“Not tattoos…”

“You aren't gonna tell me are you?” She conceded as I grinned.

“Can you open the glove compartment?” I motioned as she obliged before finding the gift I left for her. Wrapped with perfect corners and a satin bow, she pulled it into her lap.

“Go on…open it…” She hesitated just long enough to process my words. When tugging it open, her mouth came apart in awe. Dammit. I made a note to myself to keep from giving her sentimental gifts in closed spaces if she's gonna look like that as a reaction.

“A first edition?”

“The only edition.”

“You remember?”

“There's nothing about you I could ever forget, Maree…” The rest of the ride was silent as she read her gift and I basked in the presence of her comfort. It gave the distraction I hoped before the car came to a stop at our destination.

I took the time she was engrossed in her pages to analyze her. The same way she was engrossed with literature was how I was with her. But where I hid it as a teenager, I didn't care to do so as an adult. I wanted to admire her openly, even if she reciprocated or not.

“What? Do I have something-” I reached for her hand and stopped her from reaching for her cheek.

“You're unfair.”

“Unfair?” She narrowed her eyes in confusion.

“I love watching you read. If there is ever a man you look at the same way you do with books, he'll be one lucky man.” I was selfish to hope he could be me…

“Jackson-” I ignored the way she spoke my entire name as one of my men came to the car.

“Everything ready?” I asked as she preened forward to make more of where we were.

“Jackson?” Cutter, the man at my side, gave wide eyes to his she addressed me and I simply sighed. She could call me whatever she wanted as long as those around me knew it was a luxury only she held.

“Everything is as we discussed.” I gave a handshake to the man before coming to her side of the car.

“Why are we at the courthouse?”

“We're gonna be late…” I pulled her forward before she hesitated.

I would never force her in anything past this, she'd just have to forgive me if she didn't agree to it.

“I am protecting you…” Her brows furrowed as we came inside the town hall.

Separate office buildings were closed for the night. All but one I paid a pretty price to keep available just for us. Once she read the vinyl across the glass above the door, she looked at me in something between fear and anticipation.

“Jackson Maldori…” She began to ridicule, an interruption came in the form of words I'd always imagined to tell her.

“We're getting married.”