Chapter 7 AZMIA`S WISHES (knitting love, may 2017)

AZMIA

Bram sat on the terrace of the house with all his loyal companions. I accompanied Mahira until she fell asleep, only then joined Bram.

"Bram, we're having another baby," I said a little doubtfully.

"Alhamdulillah, you are old, you are still given sustenance," he said excitedly, looking at me.

"You... you look happy that I'm pregnant, Bram?" I asked.

Seeing the cheerful expression on her face, there was a hint of enthusiasm to accept this pregnancy.

"Yes, yes, the sustenance of the period is rejected. Mahira is very happy to have a sister. He wants a little sister," answered Bram.

He smiled at me, then turned his attention back to the phone he had been playing with. The confidence reflected in Bram's eyes made him calm, trying to reassure himself, everything would be fine. Looking at his face – he was busy blowing smoke from his mouth – the man I lived with for 17teen years.

Suddenly, thoughts were sucked across the passage of time. I really wanted to be separated from him. His hatred for him had reached the peak, parting was the best way he had in mind at that time.

The theme of usury discussed in the weekly study that Bram participated in made him make a big decision in our lives. He wanted to move, quit his job, promised to change for the sake of me and his two children. The position of manager with a salary for a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle in 2010, in a motor vehicle leasing company did not hinder his desire. Offers of salary increases and promotions were ignored by him.

As a wife just follow the captain of the ship spread his sails, to where he is going. What provoked anger, he secretly used the money he saved. Giving our savings to people he considers friends. Whereas previously it was agreed on financial management, I would take care of everything.

In fact, the results of the efforts promised by his friends were not as sweet as promised. Our money was taken away, they left the burden of debt on us.

Houses and cars were sold out to pay off debts due to failed businesses. We were forced to live in the village because the rent for houses there was cheaper. The remaining savings are only to meet daily needs, as long as Bram has not found a job. The comfort that used to be ours was gone in an instant. Quarrel after fight must be a bitter spectacle for our two children.

Clear dots slowly fell from the corners of my eyes, remembering how persistently Bram defended me when asking him to say goodbye.

"If there really is another man, who can give you happiness, Mia," he said softly.

"Can take you and the children to heaven, I'm willing, Mia." he sighed, "I sincerely let you go."

Tears flowed from Bram's eyes, he hugged Ihsan and Mahira tightly at that time.

"Mia, it's late. Come on in," said Bram.

His rebuke dragged me from the passage of time, back to the real world.

“Bram… I want this baby. Whatever happens, will keep the baby in my womb."

The words just said that made Bram silent, stunned to hear it.

“Forgive all my mistakes, Bram. This fetus is the fruit of our love, an expression of my love for you," I said softly.

We looked at each other, the moonlight and the stars scattered above the sky accompanied the late night.

Bram was getting ready for bed, when I entered the room. Suddenly he got up and walked closer. When we face each other, I take her hand and put it on her stomach. Bram smiled and closed his eyes.

Outside the house, there was the sound of thunder booming, it seemed like it was going to rain. A moment later Bram opened his eyes, his face getting closer, he put his hands on mine, pressing his lips to mine. Without any diction to be assembled, we mashed each other and enjoyed the blend of our lips.

Spilled water from the sky fell without compromise, so heavily soaked the earth, witnessing the pleasures of knitting love. His breath and my breath mingled with the spilled water hitting the ground. Making out enjoying the night, weaving waves of love, forming a series of love. Ended with the happiness of love that we had.

"Thank you Bram, for your sincere love," I said, accompanied by a clear spot that ran down my cheek.

Bram was already asleep, very satisfied looking at his face. He gently kissed her cheek, then lay down beside her. Suddenly Bram's hand grabbed mine, his eyes opened and he said,

"Thank you Mia for loving me."

We looked at each other, Bram smiled. His hand was placed on top of my head, gently rubbing my eyes so I fell asleep. We slept in a warm embrace with the baby in my tummy.