Chapter Four: Half Moon

In the middle of a heavy downpour, I was running down the streets and let myself soaked in the rain. At the same time as the rain was falling, I cried incessantly. I sobbed thinking about what happened to my grandmother.

I ran faster to get there even if I was out of breath, I could handle it. As I ran across the road a running car almost hit me. When I crossed the streets there were a group of men running down here and one of them bumped at me so I fell on the ground. I groaned in pain as I felt my knee hit on the cemented floor.

"She's stupid!" I've heard those guys laugh. I remained prone on the road as the pedestrians looked at me. They look at me like I were the most pitiful person. Rain has poured on me heavily and my heart is crushed in pain. I just cried as I looked at the reflection of myself in the mirror of the building next to me.

It seems pointless for me to live anymore. Grandma died and for what else can I live for?

I can't do anything but cry. I'm in so much pain and I don't know how to get rid of this. I can't stand it now because my knee hurts. I don't care what happens to me anymore, I just want to die here. After some few minutes, I suddenly noticed that the rain had stopped and I could see someone in front of me. I see two pairs of black shoes. I looked up and saw a man holding an umbrella. I couldn't see his face clearly because my eyes were swollen from crying.

"You need to stand up miss, it's raining heavily you might get sick," he said.

"I'm tired of standing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of everything," I cried, the man sat down and I felt his hand touch my cheeks.

"It's okay to get tired but don't ever give up," he motivated. My vision became clear and saw the face of a worried man. I cried again when I recognize the person in front of me.

"Dad.," I cried and hugged him. I clung my arms to his waist and I cried heavily on his chest. I felt his hands caressing my head which made me feel like I was not alone anymore.

"Uhmm..I-I'm sorry but..," he muttered.

"I'm glad that you came, I thought you wouldn't come back," I interrupted and cried even more.

"Oh, they're having a breakup," said a stranger. "Boys will be boys! They're heartbreakers," I heard people gossiping on the street. I tried to stop crying and wiped my tears.

"When did you come home? Why didn't you tell me!" I murmured, I even sniffed on his coat. It was as if the cold had blocked my nose.

"I'm sorry miss but you seem to be mistaken. I-I'm not your dad," he explained. I have a sudden hiccup when I realized that he was not my dad. I remembered that my father was dead. He resembles my dad. I miss him so much.

What I did was so embarrassing and I wanted to disappear right now. "I'm sorry, I thought that you were my dad. I'm so sorry for the trouble," I apologized.

"No problem but you need to stand up now," he said then helped me to get up. I groaned again in pain when I moved my knees.

"Your knees have wounds so we need to treat that," he worried. I walked slowly to continue going to the hospital, I still have to see my grandmother.

"You still have trouble walking so let me carry you," he insisted. I was surprised when this man suddenly carry me up in a bridal style.

"You don't have to do this, I can walk alone on my own," I stopped him.

"No, you can't. Sometimes you also need the help of others. You have heard the saying that no man is an island right?" he said, looking straightly into my eyes.

I just kept quiet and looked at him. He was just staring at the road we were walking on. As I watched him I was amazed. His green eyes were dazzling and his dark brown hair parted. All my life I have only experienced something like this. He was the only person who made me feel that I was important too. I just laid my head on his neck and I gasped as I shivered in cold.

A few minutes later, he took me here near the park. I sat on a bench while I waited for him to come back because he said he had something to buy. I just looked around and noticed that the rain had subsided. In the extreme cold, I hugged the coat that he had placed behind my back. I also noticed that there was a name sewn on its collar so I looked at it.

"Flynn," I've read, I sniffed the coat and the scent was familiar. It's like I've already smelled something like this before. I stopped what I was doing when I saw him in the distance walking back here so I straightened up and waited for him.

"I bought some band-aids and ointment for your wounds," he said then showed me those kits he bought. I couldn't speak because I was just stunned by him. I didn't expect him to help me even if he could have just passed me earlier. I saw him kneel in front of me while opening the ointment. I'm so ashamed right now of what he does to me. Why does he care for me like I am his girlfriend? Who I am to be helped?

"I-I can do that for me," I said, stopping him. He didn't listen but just continued treating my wounded knees.

"Aww!" I groaned, my wound was sore.

"I'm sorry," he apologized but I just shook my head telling him that it was okay.

After he treated me he sat down next to me and I was embarrassed to look at him, I tried to look at the other side but I can't help but look in his direction. I also noticed that he was rubbing his hands and after that, he crossed his arms. I think that he was cold too but I was wearing his coat and he was just wearing a fitted long white sleeve with a turtle neck. 

"You're getting cold so I'll give this back to you," I said while handing him the coat he owned.

"I'm used to this cold temperature so no need to worry. Just take that you're freezing in cold," he said, smiling a bit. I gulped and just wear the coat again. I can't avoid but to look at him. He was angelic and very kind. Everyone would love him.

"It looks like you're going through something so you just let yourself soaked in the rain," he suddenly said and I nodded.

"I-I'm okay. I was just bumped by the guys there earlier so I fell on the ground that's why my knee hurts when it hit on the floor so I can't stand," I explained.

The truth is I was devastated by the death of my grandmother. In my peripheral vision, I see that he was staring at me so I turned my face to him. I was taken aback by his stare so I quickly look away.

"People come and go," he smiled bitterly. I felt like he knew what I was going through. I know what he meant but I want to know if he did understand me.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked.

"I can see the mourning in your eyes," he said in a sad tone, his eyes were comforting too. It was as if something shot into my heart after hearing that. I feel very comfortable with him. He seems to be the type of person you can run to and tell about your problem.

"Am I obvious?" I asked then he nodded. I couldn't help but cry. For the first time, I let out how I felt. I always pretend that I'm okay even when I'm not. I was taken aback when he caressed my face.

"It's okay not to be okay, stop pretending and just let go of what you felt," he smiled at me. I nodded then smiled bitterly. "T-thank you,"

"You're welcome and I just want you to stand on your feet," he said, taking a deep breath. I can't explain it but I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach. It was weird and it was my first time feeling like this.

"I just lose hope and I don't know what to do anymore," I said while wiping my tears.

"When you don't know what to do and where to go anymore just look at your reflection in a mirror,'' he advised. I remembered that I saw myself in a mirror earlier. It hurts seeing myself suffer in pain, I know that I deserve better.

"You don't deserve to be hurt, you know that. Then just remember your dreams and promises in life. This is not the end for you. There will be a new chapter in your life. Just start all over again and live for yourself," he smiled, motivating me. What he said hits me. He was right. This is not the end. I still have a promise to keep.

Strangers are the best comforter.

I didn't speak and just stared at him. I'm just thankful for this man because he made me realize to love myself. All I was thinking now is my grandma. She's the reason why I'm still fighting in life but now she was gone. I still have something left and it's myself. I should love myself so that I will be happy. Grandma, dad, and mom will be disappointed in me if I will give up.

"Thank you so much. I owe you everything," I give my farewell to him by hugging him tightly then I stand on my own feet like what he told me. I can handle walking now even if it hurts a little. "Bye Flynn!" I waved at him before I pass the road and I left him alone on the bench.

I kept going to the hospital because I needed to see grandma. When I arrived I quickly took the elevator. There were other people on board and they look shocked by how I looked. I saw my reflection in the mirror and I was surprised that my hair was so messy. My eyes were still red and I was wet. I look like a beggar but I'm still pretty. I just fix my clothes and my hair then I touched my wounded knee which now hurts a little bit.

"What a mess," a girl in a red dress said. "She couldn't even fix herself," another girl wearing a mini skirt added. I just ignored these judgemental ladies here and waited to get to the seventh floor.

When the elevator opened, I immediately went out and looked for my grandmother's room. I opened the door and I was sad that I could no longer see her there on the patient's bed. A nurse passed by so I approached and asked. "Miss where did they take the patient here?"

"The old patient died earlier and they took her to the morgue," the nurse answered. "Can I see her?" I asked.

"Yes miss, just follow me," the nurse insisted. We walked down the long hallway of the hospital. We entered the other dimension where the dead patients were placed. When we entered the morgue it was very cold inside. I looked at the corpses and felt sorry for them. They were covered with white cloths and laid on the cadaver.

"Here's the body of Mrs.Alexandra Miller," said the nurse. When I heard what she said I gulped and got scared. What I feared had happened, I'm not ready to see her like that. Even though I didn't approach there, I couldn't stop myself from crying. I can already see the purple feet of my grandma that were laid on the cadaver. As I approached, I dared to remove the white cloth that covered her body. My hands were trembling with so much fear. I can't seem to handle this but I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

When I removed the cloth I saw my lifeless grandmother. I covered my mouth because I was already sobbing. I can't believe that yesterday was the last day that we were together, tonight she died and I was not beside her. When my body weakened I fell to my knees. I can no longer feel the pain of my wound because my heart hurts more.

"I'm sorry grandma," I cried, I took her cold and stiff hand and placed it on my cheek. "I will miss those days that we were together. It's just sad that you left me this early, I'm all alone now," I shrieked in pain, remembering our laughter yesterday made me cry even more. 

"I can no longer see your smiles and laughter. No one will make me happy now," I sobbed. I cried so much that I couldn't breathe and speak clearly. I just closed my eyes while hugging her corpse.

A few minutes had passed, I still stayed next to her. I just held her hands that I will never be able to hold again. "Miss, you only have last five minutes," I heard the reminder from the nurse waiting outside. I clung to grandma's hand and I didn't want to leave yet. I wanted to stay by her side, I don't want to let go of her.

"If I could just go with you grandma I would go, I don't want to live alone, I'm scared," I cried again.

As I caressed her face I suddenly remembered something she had given me. I took the necklace that hung around my neck. I noticed that it was glowing. I also remembered what grandma told me about this thing.

"When it shines it is a signal that a new chapter of your life will begin. I want you to fix the mess caused by the past. Know everything and the truth will set you free,"

This necklace with a moon pendant is mysterious and I don't understand what was grandma told me. For the last time before the last minute ends I gave my last words to grandma.

"I will promise that I will do everything. I will reach my dreams. I will be happy again. This is for you, I love you, grandma," I whispered in her ears.

Even though it was hard, I let go of her hands and kissed her on the forehead. When I left there I cried turning my back on her. My heart hurts so much but I know I can handle this. Sometimes in our lives, we need to be brave. We must be willing to accept the things we will lose. This is our destiny. We only live for a short time and in the end, we will die. If we can just live without dying, it would be better.

When I got out of the hospital I took a walk in a park nearby. I just stood up to get some fresh air. Other people here have someone by their side while I'm all by myself. I felt pain again as I remembered the tragic events that happened in my life and it hurts to think that I am all alone in life now. The weather now is fine and it's no longer raining. I just sighed and looked up at the dark sky and saw the half-moon with the twinkling stars. I'm just jealous of the moon, it has stars surrounding it so the moon isn't lonely.

When will I be able to find my stars?

I breathed some fresh air as I watched the moon in amazement and as I watched them I felt hope. Just like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to be full again.