CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: HIDING THE TRUTH

Three days after overhearing the pack members' harsh conversation about me, I got the chance to test my decision to hide my healing abilities.

A delegation from the Mountain View Pack arrived for a diplomatic meeting with Kieran.

They brought several injured warriors who had been hurt in a recent border skirmish with rogues.

"The injuries are serious,"

Dr. Martinez told me privately as we watched the visiting wolves being helped into the clinic.

"Two have broken bones, one has a deep infection that isn't responding to normal treatment and another has internal injuries that I'm worried about."

I could see the concern in her eyes.

These were exactly the kinds of injuries that my healing powers could fix completely.

"Can you help them with regular medicine?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"I'll do my best," Dr. Martinez said,

"but honestly, Laila, some of these injuries are beyond what normal healing can accomplish."

"That young warrior with the infection... he might not make it without something stronger than antibiotics."

My heart clenched.

I could save him.

I could heal all of them easily but the memory of Mrs. Patterson's words about "dark magic" and "unnatural abilities" made me hesitate.

"What if..." I started to say, then stopped myself.

"What if what?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out."

But as the day went on and I heard updates about the visiting warriors, I felt worse and worse.

The young warrior with the infection was getting sicker.

The one with internal injuries was in terrible pain despite all the medication Dr. Martinez could safely give him.

I kept finding excuses to walk past the clinic, hoping to hear good news. Instead, I heard worried voices and saw grim faces.

"Laila," Emma said, finding me pacing anxiously in the hallway,

"you look upset. What's wrong?"

"The visiting warriors," I said.

"Are they going to be okay?"

Emma's expression grew sad.

"Dr. Martinez is doing everything she can, but some of their injuries are very serious. We might lose the young one with the infection."

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

A young warrior might die, and I could prevent it.

But I was too scared of what people would think of me to help.

That evening, I couldn't eat dinner.

I sat at the table pushing food around on my plate while the adults talked about pack business.

"How are the Mountain View warriors doing?" Kieran asked Dr. Martinez.

"Not well," she said quietly, glancing at the visiting Alpha who was also at dinner.

"I've done everything I can with conventional medicine, but I'm afraid it might not be enough."

Alpha Robert from Mountain View looked devastated.

"That boy who's so sick... he's my nephew. He's only nineteen years old. If there's anything else we can try..."

"I'm sorry," Dr. Martinez said gently.

"Sometimes injuries are just beyond what we can heal."

I excused myself from dinner and went to my room, but I couldn't sit still.

I kept thinking about the dying young warrior and his uncle's desperate face.

Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to at least look at him, even if I couldn't help.

I snuck out of the house and went to the clinic.

Through the window, I could see the young warrior lying very still on one of the beds.

His face was pale and sweaty, and his breathing looked shallow.

Dr. Martinez was sitting beside him, checking his temperature and looking worried.

I was about to leave when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Couldn't sleep either?" It was Kieran's voice.

I turned around, feeling guilty about being caught sneaking around.

"I was just... I wanted to see how they were doing."

"They're not doing well," Kieran said sadly.

"Dr. Martinez thinks we'll lose the young one by morning."

"That's terrible," I whispered.

"It is." Kieran looked at me carefully.

"Laila, is there something you want to tell me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've noticed that you seem very upset about these particular injuries. More upset than usual when people are hurt."

I felt my face get hot. Did he suspect that I could help?

"I just... I feel bad for them."

"Is that all?" Kieran asked gently.

I wanted to tell him the truth.

I wanted to admit that I could heal all the visiting warriors easily, that I was only letting them suffer because I was scared of what people would think of me.

But then I remembered Mrs. Patterson calling my abilities "dark magic."

I remembered the visiting pack members at lunch talking about "unnatural abilities" being dangerous.

"Yes," I lied. "That's all."

Kieran studied my face for a long moment, and I could tell he didn't believe me.

But he didn't push.

"Well," he said finally,

"if there's ever anything you think you might be able to do to help, you know you can tell me, right?"

"Of course," I said, the lie tasting bitter in my mouth.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of crying from outside my window.

When I looked out, I saw Dr. Martinez talking to Alpha Robert and I could tell from their body language that the news was bad.

The young warrior had died during the night.

I sat on my bed and cried, knowing that his death was my fault. I could have saved him, but I was too much of a coward.

At breakfast, everyone was somber.

The visiting pack was preparing to take their dead warrior home and the mood in the house was heavy with grief.

"Such a tragedy," Mrs. Patterson said, shaking her head.

"So young, with his whole life ahead of him."

"If only there had been something more we could do," said Tom.

I wanted to scream that there HAD been something we could do, but I had been too selfish and scared to do it.

"Some injuries are just too severe," Dr. Martinez said quietly.

"We did everything medically possible."

But I knew better. We hadn't done everything possible.

I hadn't done everything possible.

After the Mountain View Pack left with their dead warrior, I found myself feeling angry at myself and scared of my own cowardice.

"Laila," Sophie said, finding me sitting alone in the garden,

"you look awful. Are you feeling sick?"

"I'm fine," I said, but I wasn't fine at all.

"You've been acting strange for days," Sophie said, sitting down beside me.

"Ever since the visiting pack arrived. What's wrong?"

I wanted to tell her.

I wanted to tell someone about the terrible weight of knowing I could have saved that young warrior's life.

"Sophie," I said carefully,

"what do you think about... unusual abilities?"

"What kind of unusual abilities?"

"Like... healing abilities that are stronger than normal." Sophie looked thoughtful.

"I think any ability that can help people is a gift from the Moon Goddess. Why?"

"But what if other people thought those abilities were scary or unnatural?"

"Then those people would be idiots," Sophie said firmly.

"Laila, abilities that heal people can never be bad things, no matter what ignorant people might say."

I felt tears starting in my eyes again.

"But what if having those abilities made people think you were dangerous? What if it caused problems for the pack?"

"What problems could helping people cause?" Sophie asked, looking confused.

I couldn't explain without admitting the truth about my powers, so I just shook my head.

"I just think sometimes it's better to be normal," I said quietly.

"Sometimes being different causes more problems than it solves."

"Laila," Sophie said seriously, "being different isn't something to be ashamed of."

"And anyone who would judge you for being special doesn't deserve to have you in their life."

But even Sophie's kind words couldn't make me feel better about my cowardice.

Still, I had made the decision that I would never use my healing abilities in front of strangers again.

I couldn't risk other packs thinking I was dangerous or unnatural.

I couldn't risk causing problems for Kieran and his pack.

Even if it meant more people would die when I could save them.

Even if it meant living with the guilt forever.

I would rather be accepted as ordinary than rejected as a freak.

But as I lay in bed that night, I couldn't stop thinking about the young warrior's face and I wondered if hiding who I truly was would eventually destroy me from the inside.