CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: OVERHEAD DOUBTS

We'd gone to see Vivian at the pack borders but she wasn't there.

Kieran sent some pack warriors to scout the borders to see if she was close by but they git nothing.

This was so weird, Marcus said she came here to see me but then when i came out we didn't see her anywhere.

This was suspicious.

"Keep scouting the borders and report back to me if anything happens" Kieran instructed the pack warriors as we went back to the pack house.

"Are you fine?" He asked.

"Yes I am" I whispered

"I don't want you out of my sight Laila..."

"No, it's fine I'll just be with Dr Martinez. I'm fine" I offered with a small smile but inside I was worried.

What could have made her come here and leave after insisting to see me?

After my successful healing session with Dr. Martinez the day before, I woke up feeling proud of myself for the first time in months and I didn't need anything to add to how I felt about Elena's hostility.

I had actually helped people with my strange abilities instead of just causing problems but that good feeling didn't last long.

I was walking to the kitchen for lunch still thinking about Elena and Vivian when I heard voices coming from the meeting room near the main entrance.

The door was slightly open and I could hear pack members talking inside.

"I just don't understand why Alpha Kieran brought her here," said a woman's voice I recognized as Mrs. Patterson, one of the older pack members.

I stopped walking and pressed myself against the wall, hidden from view but able to hear everything.

"She can't even shift into her wolf form," said another voice - Tom, the man who took care of the gardens.

"What kind of werewolf can't become a wolf?"

"Maybe she's not really a werewolf at all," Mrs. Patterson replied.

"I heard she's half-human. Her father was supposedly some human man who abandoned her mother."

My heart started beating fast.

They were talking about me and it hurt to hear the doubt and disgust in their voices.

"But Alpha Kieran seems to care about her," said a younger man named Robert.

"He protects her like she's important to him."

"Alpha Kieran feels sorry for her," Mrs. Patterson said dismissively.

"He brought her here because he's too kind-hearted to leave a pathetic creature like that on her own but charity cases don't belong in a strong pack like ours."

I felt tears starting in my eyes.

Even after helping people with my healing abilities, some pack members still saw me as just a burden.

"I don't know," Tom said thoughtfully.

"There's something different about her. The plants in my garden have been growing better since she's been here and yesterday when she helped heal those injured warriors..."

"Coincidence," Mrs. Patterson said firmly.

"Or maybe she's using some kind of dark magic. Half-breeds can't be trusted. Their human blood makes them unpredictable."

"What if Alpha Kieran decides to make her his official mate?" Robert asked.

"What then?"

"He won't," Mrs. Patterson said confidently.

"Alpha Kieran is smart enough to know that our pack needs a strong Luna, not some broken half-breed who can't even shift. When he finds his real mate, he'll get rid of the charity case quickly enough."

"But what if he's actually falling for her?" Tom asked.

"I've seen the way he looks at her. It's not just pity."

"Then he's being fooled by a manipulative little creature who knows exactly how to play on a man's protective instincts," Mrs. Patterson said harshly.

"Mark my words - she's using her helpless act to wrap our Alpha around her finger but it won't last."

I couldn't listen anymore. I turned and ran back toward my room, my heart breaking with each step.

They thought I was manipulating Kieran.

They thought I was using my weakness to trick him into caring about me.

They thought I was just a burden that would be thrown away as soon as he found someone better.

The worst part was that some of their words echoed the fears I already had about myself.

I made it to my room and closed the door before the tears really started flowing.

I sat on my bed and buried my face in my hands, crying for everything I had lost and everything I was afraid of losing.

What if Mrs. Patterson was right?

What if Kieran only cared about me because he felt sorry for me?

What if I really was just a charity case he would eventually get tired of?

I thought about my healing abilities.

Yesterday, I had felt proud of being able to help people but what if Mrs. Patterson was right about that too?

What if it really was some kind of dark magic?

What if my half-human blood made me dangerous in ways I didn't understand?

There was a soft knock on my door.

"Laila?" It was Sophie's voice.

"Are you okay? I saw you running through the hallway crying."

I quickly wiped my eyes and tried to make my voice sound normal.

"I'm fine. Just having a bad day."

"Can I come in?" Sophie asked gently.

I didn't really want to talk to anyone, but Sophie had always been kind to me.

I opened the door and let her in.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting beside me on the bed.

I couldn't tell her about overhearing the pack members talking about me.

It would just cause problems and make people angry with each other.

"I was just thinking about my old pack," I lied.

"About how they rejected me and threw me away. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really belong anywhere."

Sophie's face filled with sympathy. "Oh, Laila. You belong here. Alpha Kieran brought you here because he cares about you."

"But what if he changes his mind?"

I asked, the words spilling out before I could stop them.

"What if he decides I'm too much trouble? What if he finds his real mate and doesn't need me anymore?"

"That's not going to happen," Sophie said firmly.

"I've seen the way Alpha Kieran looks at you, Laila, that's not the look of someone who's just being charitable"

"That's the look of someone who's falling in love."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I've been in this pack my whole life," Sophie said.

"I've never seen Alpha Kieran care about anyone the way he cares about you. Not even when he was with Seraphina."

That surprised me. "Really?"

"Really. With Seraphina, he was dutiful and respectful but with you, he's... protective and gentle and worried."

"He asks about you constantly when you're not around. He makes sure you have everything you need. He gets angry when people are mean to you."

"Maybe that's just because he feels sorry for me," I said quietly.

"Laila," Sophie said seriously,

"men don't look at women they feel sorry for the way Alpha Kieran looks at you. Trust me on this."

After Sophie left, I felt a little better, but I couldn't stop thinking about what Mrs. Patterson had said.

Even if Kieran cared about me now, what would happen when other packs found out about my strange abilities?

What if they thought I was dangerous?

What if they demanded that Kieran get rid of me to protect the alliances between packs?

What if my presence here caused problems for Shadow Ridge Pack?

I spent the rest of the day in my room, trying to figure out what to do.

By late afternoon,I had made a decision.

I would be more careful about using my healing abilities.

II wouldn't let anyone else see what I could do, especially not wolves from other packs.

If people thought my powers were dark magic or dangerous, I would just... not use them anymore.

Maybe if I kept my abilities hidden, I could stay here longer.

Maybe if I was just ordinary and quiet and didn't cause any trouble, the pack members would accept me eventually.

When I went down for lunch, I sat with Sophie and Marcus as usual but I was quieter than normal, and I kept thinking about Mrs. Patterson's words.

"Are you feeling alright, Laila?" Marcus asked.

"You seem sad today."

"I'm okay," I said quickly. "Just tired."

But I wasn't okay. I was scared that the people I was starting to care about would decide I wasn't worth the trouble.

I was scared that Kieran would realize he deserved someone better than a broken half-breed.

I was scared that my weird abilities would cause problems for everyone.

Most of all, I was scared that Mrs. Patterson was right about everything.

If keeping my abilities secret would help me belong here, then that's what I would do.

Even if it meant letting people suffer when I could help them.

Even if it meant hiding part of who I was.

I just wanted to belong somewhere, and if that meant pretending to be normal, then I would pretend for as long as it took.

But as I sat there listening to the conversations around me and feeling more alone than ever, I wondered if I would ever really fit in anywherer or if I was destined to always be an outsider looking in.