"I'm certain he smiled this morning" Penny said eagerly. "Really, Joey, don't laugh, he did. His little face wrinkled up and I thought for a moment he was going to cry, but he smiled instead"
"Wind" remarked Joey caustic ally, and Penny joined in the general laughter.
Audrey took another parcel from the tree and handed it to Penny. Opening it, she found a thin, gold bracelet on the inside of which Joey had had inscribed :
'For Penny, with love'
"Oh Joey" she whispered. "It's beautiful"
'But I can't accept it' she thought. 'It must have been very expensive. I shouldn't take it'
"Please, Penny, put it on" Joey said quietly as if he had understood her thoughts. "It would give me so much pleasure"
Obediently, Penny slipped the bracelet over her hand. The gold links felt cold against the warmth of her flesh. Slowly it t
Audrey, however, was convinced that many other people beside herself would be prepared to pay quite a reasonable price for Penny's sketches. One afternoon, she borrowed Joey's car and took the portfolio to town. When she came back, she went straight to Penny ""There's an offer for you from a man who runs an art gallery and bookstore" she said. "He's willing to buy your sketches""I can hardly believe it" Penny cried incredulously. "Audrey, you are a sly old thing. Where have you been?""Penny, listen, you have to take it. It's such a good offer" Audrey said."Of course I know that. It's just so good to be true" Penny laughed. "And the pay is good. I'm so grateful, Audrey. I need the money. Especially now that I have Howard"For the two weeks preceeding her departure, Penny was glad of the distraction her sketching afforded her. Together with Howard's feeds and the bottles, diape
It was difficult for Penny to imagine Jeremy as he would be when he came into the flat this evening. She had only her memories of what he used to be and his voice, his calls, his texts... Those long, descriptive but heartbreakingly impersonal texts of his from which to draw her picture. With soul searing honesty, she forced herself to realize that Jeremy's life in Cairo was by no means a parallelism of her own. Having a baby was perhaps one of the biggest and most wonderful experience in a woman's life. Having an illegitimate baby particularly taught one a lesson. But she could not make herself believe that the gay, social round of parties Jeremy had described would have taught him anything. Worse, it had no doubt increased his passion for youth, his desire for fun, his irresponsibility.Perhaps he had met someone else? Perhaps she, Penny, had ceased to mean more to him than a memory... A pleasant but out of date memory like the girl he had once told her about.
He stole the very breath from her as his lips touched hers, moving over her mouth as if exploring a new, precious territory. Then he deepened the kiss, pulling her even closer so their bodies felt joined, seamless, and desire plunged deep in her belly; her hands fisted in his hair, awareness of anything but Jeremy and the desperate sweetness of his kiss fading to nothing.For it was desperate. The kiss was imbued with a longing that made Penny feel like this was all they would have, and she pressed closer, wanting more. Asking for more.Jeremy broke the kiss, his breath a raw shudder. "I have to ask you this" he said. His voice sounded hoarse and he still held her."Do you love me?" Do you still love me? Say it! Say it!" Jeremy demanded.Penny broke away from him with a last effort gathered from the remnants of her waning strength. She gathered herself quickly, straightening her shoulders
Penny woke to hear the steady fall of rain on the roof and the spatter of heavy drops against the window pane. The room was filled with sombre grey light but she could not be sure whether the dawn was breaking or if the storm were responsible for the darkness. But it did not matter. Nothing mattered except Jeremy.She turned her head and looked at his face, crumpled like Howard's in sleep. Hitherto she had seen only a likeness in the color of their eyes and in their hair curly hair. But now she saw that there was a strong resemblance in the shape of their heads the determined line of their lips in sleep.Howard and Jeremy. Father and son.... And both hers. She and Jeremy were going to be married. Jeremy had said so. Today, when he woke, she would tell him about his son. Or should she wait and take him to Cornwell for their honeymoon, then show him Howard in person? He could not fail to love his son. Howard was so plump... So warm
"Oh, a year....perhaps less. Depends whether I get this other job I have my eye on. You see, my boss says that....."She did not hear the rest. She could only hear the voice of her own soul, and aunt Ann saying :'Tomorrow you will live, you always cry. In what far country does tomorrow lie?'A year... Perhaps less! Perhaps never. Tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow is too late because now I have Howard. I cannot wait for tomorrow. I have Howard."Jeremy!""Yes?""Last night I said I had something to tell you. Please lie down again. I can't talk to your back"He lay down, his limbs inflexible, his lips set in a thin, stubborn line."Jeremy, do you remember the first weeks we spent together.. Here, in the flat? We... We were not very careful""Well, what about it? What's the use of bringing up things th
"Look Penny, I'm bloody sorry. I have behaved so damn badly. I know it. I feel all kinds of a louse. I can only ask you to forgive me. It hasn't been too easy for me... Being away all the time, and then you did keep it from me, didn't you?" he ended stuttering.Her dark velvety eyes looked at him stonily. She said :"I did and I expect I was wrong. But quite honestly, if I had told you that I was pregnant at the beginning, wouldn't you have suggested I had an abortion?"The direct question threw him off balance. He scowled and shifted from one foot to the other."Possibly.. But....""No. Quite certainly" she broke in."Well, it's so damn awkward..."She interrupted again."Most awkward... For both of us. I knew you wouldn't want a child and I don't happen to believe in abortions. I take my share of the blame for our c
She felt stupid. And sad. And angry.But if something good had come from her involvement with Jeremy, it was Howard. She had little Howard. She would focus on him. She would love him and he would love her back. No matter what happened, she refused to see her baby as anything but a blessing.He was such a wonderful, cute little baby. He didn't cry much except when he was hungry.... Or needed his diaper changed. He would frown and pout before crying loudly, but as soon as he got what he needed, he was a happy baby again.Penny didn't talk much to anyone when she returned to Cornwell. Audrey of course, was delighted that she had returned so soon, Joey was too.But the happiness wasn't complete because they knew that if Penny was back so early and without Jeremy, then it meant that things didn't go as planned with Jeremy.Penny stayed indoors for days. She wasn't in the m
"I'm just worried about you" Audrey said, knowing that her friend wasn't fine as she said. She gazed at table as she spoke. "Joey and I are worried about you. You spend most of your time in here, except when you go for a walk with Howard. And you don't even paint anymore. I know you have been very hurt, I understand that, but it's been a month now. You should find a way to move on."When Audrey stopped speaking and looked up at Penny. She saw that she was sobbing quietly. No longer trying to fold the clothes, but she tossed them carelessly into the drawer. Audrey could almost feel her pain as she watched her, and she had to fight back the tears that clouded her eyes. Penny needed her to be a source of strength for her, and she had to be strong for Penny. She rose up and went to her friend, pulled her into her arms and they sat together on the bed."You will be fine. I promise" Audrey murmured as Penny sobbed on her shoulder. "We are he