Emotions and unwanted feelings

Meghan

“I’m sinking my feet into the plushiest rug I have ever seen and the bed behind me feels like heaven. If I knew it would be this cozy, I don’t think I would have put up an argument in the first place” Meg said to Juliet.

She had turned back to her room after Jack had strode off, suddenly feeling foolish and featherbrained. Maybe she was not supposed to walk around the house because of places she wasn’t supposed to enter or maybe the sight of her made him angry.

She could not for the life of her understand why one minute he was laughing and the next he wanted her as far as possible away from him.

“Well, if you are going to be staying long you might as well enjoy it “Juliet replied her.

“Oh yeah, I plan to.” 

“So, tell me. Have you met him today?”

“Who am I supposed to meet again?” Meg asked her, feigning innocence.

“Don’t try to avoid what you know I’m talking about, you sly human being. I’m talking about your boos, the one who is supposedly keeping you in his house for his pleasure”

“Juliet! He is not keeping me here for his pleasure. I am here to work, remember? Besides, I ran into him earlier and he didn’t seem as if he was delighted to be in my company for a long time” Meg scolded.

“It’s a cover, love. Men like that do it all the damn time and I should know because I work with a lot of them. They love their ego so much that they would go to the extent of pretending as if you have no effect on them. I’m pretty sure that’s the same thing he is doing” Juliet said.

Why would he pretend? Meg thought. It wasn’t as though he had anything to lose. He was the kind of guy that would make women fall over his feet at the sound of his voice, plus he was wealthy. She was an average Jane with no enviable qualities. A man like Mr. Grayson would probably see her as pliable or easy.

“Whatever you think, Jules. I’m still convinced he has no interest in me”

“Then are you interested in him? A man like that would be hard not to get attracted to. I’m sure you’ve thought about jumping his bones once or twice”

Meg spluttered and coughed.

“Jules! I am not jumping my boss’s bones. Maybe I am kind of attracted to him but that is all. I will not display myself as a female without…

A slight cough from the door stopped her mid speech. She turned and saw Jake at the door.

“I’ll call you back later” she said and ended the call so fast Juliet couldn’t voice her curiosity.

“Hi” Meg said, embarrassment flooding her like a wave. Only her first day of work and she could swear that things were going really wrong. How long had he been standing there?

Thankfully, Jake gave no indication as to whether he heard her conversation or not

“I came to see if you were comfortable and completely settled in”

“Yes, I am. Thank you “

“Jack instructed me to show you the library where the letters are and where you will be working. A temporary office has been set up for you in there”

Meg recalled her conversation with Jack about Jake being the butler and wanted the ground to open and swallow her at that very moment. Dear heavens, what did he think of her now? She had to somehow make it right if Jack had told him.

“I know Mr. Grayson must have told you of how I made the mistake of thinking you were the butler. I’m so sorry and so embarrassed. I don’t know why I thought you were his butler or someone employed under him, I should have asked.

Jake shrugged and smiled.

“It’s okay, no harm done. Most people seem to think I own the manor. I find your assumptions rather refreshing. Although I must tell you, Jack isn’t fancy and butlers aren’t his style.

“Yeah, I figured that out.” Meg said with a smile of her own. Jake was so different from Jack. He was polite, nice, and calm and he didn’t even seem to take pleasure in her mortification like Jack did. If she was to be jumping anyone’s bones, Jake was a safer idea.

“I also thought you might be hungry. So we’ll head off to the kitchen to have a bite or fill your stomach, which ever you prefer and then I will show you the library. 

Meg hadn’t realized she was hungry until he mentioned food and her stomach grumbled. He was thoughtful too, another good reason why he was a better choice.

“I would really love that”

“Okay then”

Meg sat across the island in the kitchen, her empty plates in front of her. Jake had served her with some dish she couldn’t remember its name but was absolutely delicious.

“So, Meg. What did you do for a living before now?” Jake asked her.

“I thought you must some research on me and you probably know all about me by now” she replied.

“True. But I want to hear it from you. You could chalk it up to deep curiosity or a need for more information than the web spat out”

“Why would you want to know more about me? It’s not like my life is exciting or anything” she asked, slightly perplexed.

Jake took a bottle of water from the fridge and dropped it in front of her.

“The thing is, I find you intriguing and I’m willing to bet that there are some fascinating things about you to. I am, as everyone knows, also a curious being. I am the cat that curiosity seeks to kill”

“Then why aren’t you dead yet? I thought curiosity kills the cat?”

“Ah, you see. I’m more of a better cat than most. I chase with precision and carefulness. So, humor me and tell me about you” Jake said with a smile.

For a moment, Meg deliberated whether she should cook up a story filled with interesting events or just tell him what he wanted to hear. She decided to just go with the basic facts.

“I studied journalism which you already know, got fired for writing the news pieces exactly the way the story was and not adding the juicy lies the network wanted. I needed a job badly and I applied for this and voila, here I am”

Jake studied her with serious, intense eyes as though he wanted to see the story she was hiding for himself. His gaze was probing and Meg felt herself shrink under his scrutiny. The he suddenly sighed and the look in his eyes faded.

“That’s quite a story. Come, let show you the library”. 

Meghan

“It’s huge” Meg said as she walked from one end of the incredibly long bookshelf to another. “I could get lost here, wandering from page to page in these hard covers”

“Jack’s father was an avid reader and a poetry lover. I bet you would find a couple of Yeats, Blake, Shakespeare, among the books. He had the bookshelf remade when he wanted to expand his collections of first and second editions”

Meg picked up a book and slowly ran her fingers along it like a patient lover. “This is perfect, thanks”

“Pleasure is all mine. The letters are in the ivory covered box that looks like a treasure chest” Jake said and gestured to where the box laid on the floor. “I will leave you be now. I trust you can find your way back to your room?”

“Yes, I can. Thank you so much for taking time out to help me” Meg said, her expression very thankful.

Jake gave her a slow, easy smile.

“Like I earlier said, the pleasure is all mine” 

Meg walked to the box and picked it up. She sat on a sofa and opened it and removed the stack of letters carefully. Jack had made his displeasure known if something were to happen to the letters. Besides, she had to prove she could handle important stuff and wasn’t just some flighty female.

When she brought the letters out, she detected a whiff of blueberries. The letters must have been preserved with something that smelt so good. She made a mental note to ask Jack.

She removed the first letter and returned the rest into the box. She only wanted to get a feel of it before she began fully the next day.

Carefully, she opened the letter and began to read.

My dear Catherine,

Of the blooming lilies

Shall I tell of how beautifully your eyes seemed to shine today?

Of how the sun paled in comparison to your glowing self?

You make a poet out of this humble being,

And a thousand ballads shall I write for you.

                                                                                                             From, me.

Meg stared at the letter and felt a small smile creep out of my belly to her lips. It was a love story! And if by any indication this where the people the letters talked about, she would have a splendid time writing their story. It would be amazing.

She knew the young lady was Catherine, but the young man’s name hadn’t been mentioned. Maybe she would find out as the letter progressed. There was quite a lot of them to read.

She would go back to her room, retire for the night and get up bright and early tomorrow.

Jake poked his head into Jack’s study wearing a casual shirt and jeans.

“I’m off to get some drinks with the guys. I’ll see you later”

Jack waved an absent dismissing hand in reply.

“How about you come out with me for this one night, huh? Just a drink” Jake asked him

Jack looked up from the documents he had been reading with a frown on his face.

“Not interested”

“It’s just drinks, Jack. Come on”

“I am really not interested and very busy, could you go alone?”

Jake gave a dramatic sigh.

“Fine, spoilsport. I’ll get Meg to accompany me. She is more fun anyways.”

There was silence in the study as Jack did not say a word for a few moments. When he finally raised his head, there was deep scowl on his face and a murderous look in his eyes.

“If you are going out to have fun Jake, I am not going to stop you. In fact, you have all my blessings. But, my employee will not be shoved into the hands of your flesh lusting friends. You will go out without her and that is final”

Jake smiled, a knowing look on his face. His friend was obviously taken and attracted to Meg. He considered taunting him for a moment but decided against it. He would use it later when it was really clear that his friend had a serious case of attraction.

‘Whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow. Do not wait up late”

“Like I would” Jack muttered under his breath.

When the door closed behind Jake, Jack let out the breath he had been holding. He had been scared for a tiny moment that Jake would argue with him and eventually ask Meg to accompany him. He had started formulating reasons he would give her as to why she couldn’t go out with him. He had no problem with her going out, but he did not want it to be with Jake and his friends.

Why? He asked himself, was he so protective of her when he barely knew her? Why did she ignite something in him that felt really strange? He could almost swear that he had the need to protect her and have her for himself.

Maybe it was the way her cheeks flushed when she was embarrassed that had him wondering if other parts of her body could take on the same colour too. Or maybe it was the way her mouth parted into a perfect circle when she was surprised or the dopey look her eyes too on? Or was it because she eluded a sexual energy she was ignorant of?

What was it about this woman that threw him so completely off guard? When he had seen her in the hallway earlier on, her eyes had taken on a faraway look that was filled with some sort of hidden excitement. He had gotten a jolt in his groin that had knocked all sensible thoughts off his head. He wanted her to stare at him like that, he realized. 

It had taken all of his willpower to walk away.

Jack’s mouth pursed into a frown. He had to stop thinking about her because it would do them no good. First off, he was no good for her. There was no way he could settle down and be committed, which he suspected was what she wanted.

Secondly, even if she was in the least bit attracted to him, would she see past his scars? She hadn’t seen the ones on his body which were worse than those on his face. No woman in her right mind would go to bed with a man like Jack when there was an option of Jake. So, it was better he forgot about her and focused on work.

With that thought, he shut Meg out of his mind.