6. Zayn

        My headphone is very rudely pulled out of my ears and I can think of only one person who would do that.

I stretch my right hand and grab a pillow snuggling into it to get him pissed off.

A bag of cement is thrown on my body and my eyes immediately fly open. Okay, it's just my idiot friend but...

'Get your foolish self off me'. I said pushing me. He rolls and lie beside me.

'Say sorry'. He demanded

'For what exactly?'

'I could think of a few reasons. For killing my cat?'

'That bitch was damn rude'.

'For burning my journal?'

'It was very depressing, not to mention childish'.

'For cutting my cousin's hair in her sleep?'

'You know she deserved it'.

'For stealing my first girlfriend?'

'You could do better'.

'Okay let's settle for this one; for not calling me for the past twelve hours. I thought does scorpion guys had ended you, I was about to start searching every alley for your body but a little birdy told me you were home'.

'Well that bird probably just prevented you from landing yourself in an asylum'.

'Whatever. Why didn't you call me?'

'I was busy'.

'I can see. So busy making love to your bed in the dark. Turn on the light dude'. He said switching my bedside lamp on.

'Why are you here Jake? I thought I made it clear; Sunday nights are for just me, me alone, enjoying my own company?'

'You are not good company for yourself dude. I can't leave you alone with all your bizarre thoughts'.

I groaned.

'In times like this I really do wish you had a girlfriend'.

'Why do I need a girlfriend? I  have you'. He said hugging my back.

'Do you have to be so gay all the time?' I teased.

'There's nothing wrong in being gay'.

'Of course but you aren't gay right? Are you, man?' I asked, arching a brow. He smacked my face with a pillow.

'Fuck you. Come on let's do something'. He said rising and pulling me out of bed.

'What?' I grumbled like a child.

'Let's order pizza and play video games. It's not like there's anything more interesting we could do'.

         I ordered pizza while he set up the game and immediately it arrived we began work. We played for hours, deep into the night and only stopped when our fingers began hurting unbearably. We just lay there on the floor.

'Zayn?' Jake called lightly.

'Hm?'

'Have you ever wanted something you knew you could never have?'

'Yeah'. I whispered. I wanted her back every fucking day.

'What did you do?'

'I chased it, hard, then I realized it was a vain effort so I let it go'.

'Just like that?'

'It was not a fight for me to win'.

'You didn't feel sad?'

'I did, still do'.

'Sorry buddy'. He said, turning to face me with a mocking smile.

'Asshole'. I said and we laughed a little before falling silent again.

'Jake?' I called.

'Yeah?'

'What went down with you and Katie?' He sighed deeply at that.

'Nothing special'.

'I want the truth Jake'.

'She loved me so much and I betrayed her'.

'How?'

'I cheated on her'. I nodded and turned to face him.

'Asshole'. I said and we laughed lightly but sobered up immediately.

'I joined the gang'. I knew he was looking for a way to bring it up.

'You did'. He said quietly, he didn't sound surprised.

'Yeah, I did'.

'I guess it was the only option. Be careful eh?' I nodded.

'Thanks man'.

'Brooo. This is us'. He said clasping our hands tight which made me smile. 'I'm going to bed, vamp'. He rose and dumped himself on my bed.

'Goodnight'.

                             *

        My eyes are shut tight, I'm struggling to open them because I know what is coming next, what always appears every time I close my eyes for the past three years.

'Please'. I say. Her face flashes before me, her pretty smiling face and I am tempted to smile back but it changes, it's so pale, so stoic, so lifeless, so dead and I scream.

I feel warm hands around me as I open my eyes. It's Jake, he's hugging me to his chest and whispering things you say to a child who is scared of the storm. I smile.

'Get your hands off me, idiot'. I say and he looks down at me instantly.

'Zayn are you okay?' He asked looking extremely worried.

'I'm fine. It happens all the time remember? Now let me go'.

'Oh, Sorry'. He said, letting me go.

I got up and walked into the bathroom.

I washed my face and stared at the mirror, I looked ghostly. Yes it happens all the time, sometimes even worst but in never gets old.

I hadn't allowed myself sleep throughout the week, I'd have to sneak into mom's room and get concealer to hide the bags beneath my eyes.

Jake was sitting on the bed with a cup of coffee in hand when I went into the room. I looked at the clock on the bedside drawer. 5:02am.

'it's too early for coffee, Jake'.

'Shut up. There's yours'. He said pointing to the table that sat close to the floor_to_ceiling window.

I smiled and picked it up before opening the glass door to the balcony that was attached to my room and sitting on the railing, letting the chilly morning breeze soothe me.

'Zayn'.

'Don't'.

'You need help'.

'I don't need anything'.

'You can't keep living like this man. Look at you, you look like the Walking Dead.

'I'm fine'. I said quietly.

'No you are not. You can fool your parents and everyone else with this nonchalance but not me. You didn't do anything wrong, you don't deserve this'.

'You are wrong. It's all my fault'. I said, closing my eyes as the memory flashed through my head.

'Zayn'. He was suddenly beside me and placing a hand on my shoulder.

'Please'.

'Okay'. He said defeated. He gave my shoulder a brief squeeze before going back to the bed.

        I downed the contents of the mug but it was not as hot as I would have liked it.

'Since we are awake already why not pick up where we left off?' Jake said suddenly, back to his cheerful demeanor.

'Why not?' I said smiling. We moved to our position in front of the game we had forgotten to turn off before going to rest or unrest for me.

        It was 7:00am now and we were still playing. My door creaked open.

'Hey babe'. My mom greeted.

'Morning mom'. Jake and I greeted, eyes still fixed on the screen.

'Oh hey son. I didn't know you were here'.

'Zayn missed me too much, he couldn't wait until morning to see me so I rushed down some time last night'. He explained without losing focus in the game. My mom chuckled.

'Alright. Get ready and come down or you both are going to be late for school'. She informed us before leaving.

We played for a few more minutes and decided to follow my mom's advice and get ready for school.

We showered together (well he forced himself into the bathroom with me) and he dressed in my clothes, even my underwear despite all my screams of objection.

Jake went down to the kitchen to meet my parents while I snuck into mom's room to use her concealer. Malik and June weren't back from their honeymoon so the house was pretty much empty.

'We won the last game against then'. Jake was saying around the enormous amount of pancakes in his mouth.

'That's good. I don't know why Zayn doesn't want to join the team'. My dad said.

'Sports is not for everyone, dad'. I said, moving to pour myself a glass of milk.

'Good morning to you too son'. He said and I rolled my eyes.

'But it's a good distraction and great fun, even Meghan takes part in it'. Mom said

'Talking about Meghan'. Here we go again.

'What happened with you two?'

She had been bothering me with this question throughout the weekend. Jake had a mischievous glint in his eyes, I had told him all about our parents trying to matchmake us.

'Nothing serious. Just the usual teenage drama'. I said, pouring syrup on my pancakes.

'It must have been serious to make you two so strained, you didn't visit each other'. She pressed.

'We weren't strained, Meghan is just not fond of parents'. Mom gasped dramatically.

'I didn't mean it like that. Why is the past even important? Meg and I are cool now, that is all that's supposed to matter'. I said firmly and mom smiled that creepy smile that told me she had read the wrong meaning into what I said. I groaned.

Why were they intent on bringing us together? Aren't Malik and June enough? The girl doesn't even like me but that's understandable. She refused to see past what I put out there and usually it doesn't bother me but I find that a little part of me is disappointed, a little part of me don't want her to look at me with as much disdain as she does and this feeling is dangerous, it always doesn't end well.