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Before We Knew
Before We Knew
Penulis: Cat Eat Fish

Chapter 1

Penulis: Cat Eat Fish
"You have always been timid. How were you supposed to go that far away all by yourself when there would be no one there to take care of you?"

My sister, Nevaeh Charlton, frowned as she spoke.

My nose stung, and I lowered my head, my voice muffled. "I have made up my mind. There are more job opportunities there, and it will be easier to find a job after graduation."

Nevaeh noticed something was off with me, so she did not press any further.

Mom pressed her lips together, looking surprised.

After all, I had never mentioned wanting to move somewhere else before.

Afraid I would not be able to hold back my tears, I mumbled a few casual excuses and hurried back to my room, trying not to look as pathetic as I felt.

My sister had always been the one who stood out.

She was better at talking, better at winning people over, and better at school. She had even skipped several grades.

Whenever our relatives mentioned my sister, they praised Mom and Dad for being so lucky to have a daughter like her.

However, whenever the conversation turned to me, they exchanged awkward smiles. They said I was sensible, obedient, and easy to take care of.

Sensible. Obedient. No trouble.

Those were pretty much the only things I had going for me.

With my grades, the best I could hope for was an ordinary college. My sister, on the other hand, had always been the center of attention from elementary school through college.

That was also when she and Edward Jones first became tangled up with each other.

They had been desk mates for all 3 years of high school.

One ranked first in their grade, and the other ranked second. Neither of them was willing to admit defeat.

Edward could not stand my sister. He was annoyed that she always managed to beat him by just enough to stay on top, and he had an attitude to match.

Still, everyone could see what was really going on.

The more Edward claimed he could not stand my sister, the more often his eyes seemed to find her.

Every time we went home for a break, my sister spent days complaining to me about Edward.

She said he was childish, obnoxious, and annoying. She said there had to be something wrong with his brain. His grades were terrible, yet he was always trying to compete with her.

I sat beside her and quietly listened.

The more I heard his name, the more Edward slowly took up a little space in my heart.

Later, I met someone in a gaming group who had an incredibly sharp tongue.

His username was "Q."

He typed fast, and his words were even faster. Whenever he got into an argument with someone in the group, he never backed down.

I could not stand watching it, so I finally shot back at him.

Somehow, that night, the two of us ended up going back and forth in the group chat for hours.

By the end of it, he actually added me as a friend.

His very first message was:

[Not so good with words anymore? Why did you stop?]

I was still annoyed, so I replied:

[Are you crazy?]

He sent back a question mark. Then he wrote:

[Wow. You have quite a temper.]

We kept arguing for another 2 days. Then, on the third day, he suddenly asked me:

[Wanna play a game?]

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  • Before We Knew   Chapter 10

    Nevaeh did not say a word.I closed my eyes and finally told her everything.How I had met Edward in the gaming group. How we had slowly gotten close. How I had figured out who he was but had been too afraid to tell him. How he had eventually mistaken me for Nevaeh's secret account. How, after the final exams, we had fallen into that brief, ridiculous online relationship.I spoke slowly, my story coming out in a jumbled mess. Several times, I had to stop because my throat closed up.Nevaeh never interrupted me. She simply sat across from me and listened, her expression growing darker and more complicated with every word.When I finally finished, the room fell so quiet that the silence seemed to swallow everything. I kept my head down, overwhelmed by shame and humiliation, my hands trembling uncontrollably.After a long time, Nevaeh finally spoke. Her voice was very quiet."So that is why you suddenly went to college out of state, and then wanted to study abroad?"My nose stung,

  • Before We Knew   Chapter 9

    He was being so direct that I did not even dare think too deeply about what he was saying.I instinctively took a step backward."Stop."Edward acted as if he had not heard me. He kept his eyes on mine."I did like your sister once."I could not stand her because I was always trying to beat her. I always wanted her to notice me."Later, I thought the person on the other side of my phone was her too. The person who argued with me, who remembered all my little habits."I admit it. Back then, I mixed the two of you together. However, Suzanna, it is different now."My breathing grew tight, and my heart raced out of control, yet I still could not bring myself to take a step toward him. I knew too well that no matter how beautiful his words sounded, part of what he felt had been built on a mistake. He had fallen for Nevaeh first, and nothing could change that.Even if he had developed real feelings for me later, those feelings were still tangled up with mistaken identity, projection

  • Before We Knew   Chapter 8

    However, it lasted only for a moment.The next second, he seemed to come back to himself and slowly loosened his grip.I turned my back to him, my heart clenched in a giant hand that kept squeezing and twisting it.When I deleted that account, I had hidden in my room alone in the middle of the night and cried until I could barely breathe.When I left for college out of state, I had sat on the plane wondering if I really would never see him again.Later, every time Nevaeh mentioned him, it took me a long time to calm myself down.However, I could not say any of those things.Not a single one.I carried the bowl of soup out of the kitchen. My hands were shaking so badly that I could barely hold it.For the rest of dinner, I could hardly eat anything while both families continued discussing the details of the engagement, including the date, the hotel, and which relatives to invite.Every word reminded me that the few minutes I had just spent alone with Edward in the kitchen had

  • Before We Knew   Chapter 7

    I bit my lip. It took me a long time to finally speak."A long time ago.""How long?""...Before the final exams."The air seemed to go still again.Edward stared at me, then suddenly pulled one corner of his mouth into a smile. It did not look like a smile. It looked more like he was laughing at himself."So, you knew from the beginning."You knew who I was. You knew my relationship with your sister. And you still kept talking to me for that long."My face went pale."I never meant to deceive you."It was just...""Then why did you not tell me?"My throat felt so tight that I could not get a single word out. The truth was, he was right. I really had been running away.At first, I was too afraid to tell him. Then I could not bear to give him up. Later, everything had gone so far in the wrong direction that there was no way left to tell him.Seeing me remain silent, Edward gave a bitter little laugh. He lowered his eyes, his voice rougher now."Suzanna, do you have any id

  • Before We Knew   Chapter 6

    I thought I had gone far enough, far enough to another state that I was almost ready to leave everything behind and calmly read the occasional scraps of news Nevaeh sent me about Edward.However, apparently, I had not gone far enough.The moment he appeared in front of me, the moment he looked at me like that, everything I had desperately buried came rushing back.Voices drifted faintly through the door. Both families were discussing a date for the engagement.I could not hear everything, only bits and pieces."Next year...""Let's set the date first...""The kids have a stable relationship..."Every word felt like a reminder."Suzanna, it is over. It did not matter whether you had been with him that year or whether he had eventually figured it out. The person sitting outside was now Nevaeh's fiancé. You were nothing more than a member of this family who had come home for a few days during break before leaving again." I thought to myself.I closed my eyes and forced myself to

  • Before We Knew   Chapter 5

    The living room went completely silent.Mom was the first to react, her voice rising a little."What do you mean you will not be coming home for any of the holidays next year?"I lowered my head, trying my best to keep my voice calm."The exchange program is for a year."If everything goes smoothly, I will leave next semester."Dad frowned and set down the cup in his hand."Why are we only hearing about something this important now?"I pressed my lips together."It is not final yet."I only submitted the application."That was not entirely true.I had already prepared almost everything. My advisor's recommendation letter, my language test scores, the application forms. I had worked through them one by one, carefully keeping track of every deadline. I had even made a packing list on my computer.I knew myself too well. If I did not prepare everything ahead of time, when the day finally came for me to leave, all it would take was one sentence from my family saying they would

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