Chapter 10: Noah Callahan

Noah’s POV

The bark of the tree bit into my palm hard enough to sting. I welcomed it. Pain was easier than whatever the hell was happening inside my chest.

I stood there alone in the dark, staring at the path Isla had disappeared down, like if I looked long enough she might come back and tell me none of it had happened.

The cold air burned my lungs.My mouth still tasted like her.

Cherry Gloss. Anger. Heat.

Eight years of almosts detonated in one reckless second.

I closed my eyes and swore under my breath.

What had I done?

No.

What had I waited so long to do?

My phone buzzed in my pocket loudly.

Mads❤️: Where are you?

Mad❤️: Noah. Seriously.

I didn’t answer.

I couldn’t.

Because for the first time in my life, I had no idea how to explain myself.

I started dating Madison because she made sense. She fit beside me in photos. Fit beside me at games. Fit beside me in every version of the future everyone else had already written for me.

She was easy.

Isla never was.

Isla was late-night talks through half-open doors.

Borrowed hoodies that never came back.Laughing at jokes no one else understood.Knowing when I was angry before I said a word.Looking at me tonight like she’d finally realized she didn’t need me.

That was the part that broke me.

Not the outfit.

Not her wanting to go to Chicago like a desperate prayer. Not every guy at that fire staring at her like they’d just discovered sunlight.

It was the fact that she looked free. She looked like she didn't need me , her best friend. And I had never hated myself more than when I realized I was her cage, the only thing keeping her from flying.

By the time I got back to the bonfire, the high from kissing her had rotted into dread.The memory of kissing her turned to something lethal in my stomach.Madison was waiting by my truck, arms folded tight across her chest.She didn’t look happy.

When she saw me, she walked over fast.

“Where were you?” she asked , I climbed into the driver's seat  without looking at her “Walking.”

“For twenty minutes?”

“I needed air.”

She got into the truck with me, she studied my face.

Too carefully.

Then her eyes dropped to my mouth 

My pulse kicked once.

“Your lip is bleeding.”

I touched it automatically. I had a split skin.Probably from where Isla shoved me into the tree.

“Caught a branch,” I said.

Madison held my gaze for a second longer than comfortable.

Then she smiled.

It was small.

“ let’s go”

She talked the whole drive home.

Something about Senior  week. Something about Homecoming decorations. Something about how everyone was acting weird tonight especially Isla.

I barely heard any of it.

All I heard was Isla.”What happened to Isla" I asked.

The words were out before I could stop them. My voice sounded rough, even to my own ears.

Madison stopped talking. The silence that followed was louder than the engine. She turned her head slowly, watching the streetlights flicker across my face.

"I ran into her right before I found you," Madison said, her voice dropping that cheerful, homecoming-committee tone. "She was coming out from the tree line near the old trailhead. Her hair was a mess, Noah. And her breathing… She looked like she’d just run a marathon. Or like she was trying not to scream."

Madison shifted in her seat, leaning closer. I kept my eyes locked on the road, my knuckles white against the steering wheel.

"I asked her if she’d seen you," Madison continued, her eyes burning into the side of my head. "She didn't even look at me. She just said, 'No ,' and walked past me like I was a ghost. 

Madison paused, "She looked wrecked, Noah. Almost as wrecked as you look right now. Care to tell me what kind of 'event’ causes that?"

Madison’s eyes didn't leave my profile. She was waiting for me to break, to trip over my own lie about the "branch."

"An event?" I repeated, my voice sounding firm. I gripped the wheel so hard my wrists ached. "It’s a bonfire, Madison. People get rowdy. I just... ran into some guys from the rival team. It’s fine."

"Funny," Madison whispered, turning to look out the windshield. "Because those guys are on the other side of the lake. And Isla was coming from the trailhead. Alone."

I didn't answer. I couldn't. Any word I said would be a thread she could pull until the whole night unraveled. The rest of the drive was a blur of streetlights and Madison’s voice was terrifyingly calm. She went back to talking about Senior Week, but her tone had changed. It wasn't a conversation anymore; it was more of an act. She was showing me that she could pretend everything was fine, even if she knew my heart was currently three miles back in the woods.

As we turned onto our street, the realization hit me like a physical blow.

You don’t own me.

She was right.

I’d spent years acting like protecting her gave me rights I never earned.Watching who talked to her. Driving her everywhere. Getting angry when guys look too long. Treating her like something precious while refusing to admit why.I told myself it was loyalty.

History.

It wasn’t.It was love wearing a coward’s mask.And now I’d blown everything up in one kiss.

The house was dark when we pulled in.

Madison leaned across the console and kissed my cheek before getting out.I flinched so slightly she might not have noticed.

“Text me tomorrow,” she said.

“Yeah.”

She closed the door.I stayed in the driveway after her taillights disappeared.Upstairs, one room was still lit.

Isla’s.

A warm strip of light behind drawn curtains.I could picture her inside.

Pacing.

Crying.

Hating me.

Maybe touching her mouth and hating herself too.I got out of the truck before I could think better of it.Crossed the lawn,climbed the porch steps and walked inside.

The hallway upstairs felt longer than it ever had.

Her door was closed.Light glowing beneath it.I stood there with my hand raised.

Knock.

Apologize.

Tell the truth.

Tell her I’d been trying not to want her since I was sixteen and failing every day since.

My hand never touched the wood.Because if she told me to go to hell, I’d survive.

If she opened the door and forgave me…

I wouldn’t survive that at all.

So I lowered my hand.

Went to my room.

And spent the whole night listening for her footsteps on the other side of the wall