3

There was no one in the kitchen except for me and my Mother but still I had to murmur to her. Can't risk anyone hearing our conversation, otherwise both of us will land in a big trouble.

"But Mom, how can I marry someone I am afraid of? How will I ever be able to love him?" By the look mother is giving me, I can tell she already feels irritated by my questions.

'Never question about anything. It's not a woman's job.' My mother reminds me all the time.

"Emilia, stop this right now." She raised her voice at me. "You will have to marry Adriano one way or another." She doesn't love me at all, it's clear.

"We are afraid of the God too Emilia, but at the same time we love him too, right."

My mother cannot be serious at the moment.

"Mom, how can you even compare Adriano to the God?" My eyes swell up with tears. I honestly cannot argue without crying.

"He is like a God for us, you stupid girl. He helped our family when we went through the worst times. He is the reason your brother is out of the prison and breathing fresh air. We have been living on this money from last seven years. When will you expand your head and think in a broad manner? He let you continue with the school, even permitted you to attend the college, paid your fees, helped your brother and our whole family numerous times. We are indebted to him. The food we eat, the water we drink and even the clothes we wear are results of his generosity towards us. So yes, he is our God." She was literally yelling at me by grinding her teeth.

Not much importance is given to the education of women in my world and they are often married off at a very early age. When I was 18 I got betrothed to Adriano. To my surprise, he did not stop me from going to school, instead he transferred me into an 'all girls school'. Later he even allowed me to attend college, but in the same city.

"He chose you, the less beautiful one instead of your elder sister, so be grateful." I don't understand why my Mother always has to body shame me in any possible situation. I am so used to her body shaming me and making me feel uncomfortable about my own body.

My elder sister, sigh. She completely hates me because Adriano chose me instead of her.

"But mo- " I tried explaining her how the idea of this marriage suffocates me. I am terrified of Adriano, just like everyone else. 

"Stop this bullshit right now. Stop acting like an ungrateful girl, Emilia. This is your destiny and Adriano is your future. For once can you not think about your family and everyone else's happiness?" Making my mother understand anything regarding this issue is so useless.

"So you are indirectly selling me off to Adriano in the name of marriage because we are buried under his favours?" I finally spoke what was in my heart.

"Never say that again or I will inform Adriano and your brother about your unreasonable attitude." My mother's jaw clenched.

My mother has her own way of thinking, that is never going to be the same as mine. And I know my mother will never support me or agree with me in a life time. And same goes with my brother.

"Now stop talking and start preparing lunch. Your brother and Adriano need to discuss some business, so today he will have lunch at our place." She seemed so happy.

A way out of this marriage seems impossible.

But I really need to find a way out before...............my secret gets revealed in front of Adriano.