Home / Romance / Behind the Ice Wall / Chapter 3 — Practice & The First Glance

Share

Chapter 3 — Practice & The First Glance

Author: Rovelt Vell
last update publish date: 2026-07-17 23:11:12

SKY’S POV

Morning practice was supposed to be the one place that still made sense.

I got there early, the way I always did, lacing up in an empty locker room before the rest of the guys showed up with their coffee and their noise. I liked that hour. Quiet building, nobody around yet, just the hum of the ice machine somewhere behind the walls.

By the time Coach Petrov ran us through rebound drills, that quiet had turned into something else.

I squared up for a wrist shot from the circle. Read the angle right. Tracked it clean the whole way. And still, at the last half-second, a familiar voice in the back of my head asked what if you freeze again — and that was enough. My glove came down a beat late.

The puck slid through my legs, a shot I hadn’t missed since my rookie year. It clacked off the boards behind me loud enough that a couple guys turned their heads.

“You good?” Marchetti called out from the blue line.

“Fine,” I said, and got back into my stance.

I wasn’t. It wasn’t Amira in my head. It wasn’t anything outside me at all. It was the freeze itself, still living somewhere under my skin, whispering that my body might just stop listening to me again, any second, for no reason.

That kind of doubt doesn’t miss one save and let you move on. It sits there, waiting to see if you’ll flinch at the next one too.

I flinched at the next one too.

A high glove shot I usually ate up went in clean. Then a rebound I should have smothered instead of kicking back into traffic.

Three mistakes in twenty minutes, all because some part of me was half a second behind my own instincts, checking first instead of trusting what I already knew.

Petrov skated over. I knew that look. Not angry. Just watching me close, the way he watched guys who were one bad week away from becoming a problem somebody had to deal with.

A couple of the defensemen traded a glance behind him. Quick. Nobody said anything. Nobody had to.

“Head’s somewhere else today,” Petrov said. It wasn’t a question.

“Working through some stuff,” I said, which was as close to true as I planned on getting.

He nodded and skated off toward the other end. I figured that was the end of it.

Then Coach Reyes told me, off to the side, low enough that only I could hear it: “Dr. Frank is going to sit in on practice today. Just observation. Don’t let it throw you.”

It threw me a little anyway.

I looked toward the tunnel and there she was, standing near the boards with a coffee in one hand, studying the ice with the same easy attention she’d had in her office two days before. She wasn’t watching the drills. She was watching me — how I reset between shots, how my shoulders sat, whatever it was underneath all of it that she seemed to be able to read better than the guys who’d played beside me for years.

Our eyes met across the ice.

I braced for it to make things worse. That’s what I expected — one more thing to check, one more pair of eyes expecting me to fail.

It didn’t happen that way.

Something in my chest went quiet instead. Not the good kind of quiet I used to have before all this started. A different kind. Steadier. Like for one second, standing in my crease with her looking back at me, I didn’t have to prove anything to her, because she wasn’t waiting for me to fail. I couldn’t explain it, and I wasn’t ready to trust it either.

I looked away first and reset for the next rep. The next shot came in hard. I caught it clean.

I told myself it was only coincidence.

She watches me like she’s trying to figure me out, I thought, sliding back into my crease. Not like she’s judging me.

I’d spent six years getting watched by scouts and cameras and forty thousand people a night, every one of them waiting to see if I’d fail. I knew what that felt like. This wasn’t that. There was no waiting in the way she looked at me. No scoreboard running behind her eyes. I didn’t know where to put that, and not knowing bothered me more than being judged ever had.

Near the end of practice, I caught Damian Baron up in the executive box, alone, focused on the ice. He wasn’t there for long. He leaned over and said something to Reyes, who’d come up to the glass level to talk to him — I couldn’t hear what, too far off, too much noise from the ice machines and the last few guys still shooting pucks.

Whatever it was, Reyes’s face changed. Just for a second. Something tight around his jaw that hadn’t been there a minute before.

Damian didn’t stay after that. He was gone before I even got off the ice.

I filed it away anyway, the same way I filed away every detail on every shooter I’d ever faced. Habit, maybe. The part of me that’s always paying attention to who’s watching, and why.

The final whistle ended practice, and the guys drifted toward the tunnel. I followed, pulling off my helmet before my skates hit the rubber mats. My legs felt heavier than they should have after an ordinary session. Maybe it was the missed saves.

Maybe it was the feeling that Amira had seen more than I’d wanted anyone to see.

In the locker room after, Marchetti threw a towel at my head, grinning. “So. You and the shrink. She any good?”

“She’s fine,” I said, too fast.

“Relax, man, I’m not saying anything.” He laughed, pulling his jersey over his head. “Just asking if it’s helping.”

“They’re sessions. That’s it.”

“Sure.” He kept grinning. “You’ve said her name twice in ten seconds and I only asked one question.”

I opened my mouth to correct him and realized I couldn’t actually remember if that was true.

“Forget it,” I said, and shoved my skates in my bag harder than I needed to.

That night, lying in bed with the city lights coming through the blinds, I caught myself doing something I hadn’t done in years. Checking the time. Doing the math. Working out how many days it was until Thursday.

I didn’t ask myself why.

I already knew I didn’t want the answer.

Because once I admitted I was looking forward to Thursday, there’d be no pretending she was just another therapist.

Continue to read this book for free
Scan code to download App

Latest chapter

  • Behind the Ice Wall    Chapter 83 — The Dream He Lost

    SKY’S POV She continued the story two nights later, unprompted, the two of us sitting on my balcony with the city lights spread out below us, the open air making the conversation feel less confined than it might have inside. “I keep thinking about what you asked me,” she said. “About Daniel’s career, and how it actually ended. I don’t think I gave you the full picture. Just the outline.” “You don’t have to fill in every detail if it’s too much.” “I want to, actually. I think I’ve spent so long summarizing that story to myself that I’ve forgotten how much it actually cost, watching it happen in real time.” • She told me about the year after the tournament that broke him, the slow unraveling that followed rather than any single dramatic ending. “Coaches kept pushing,” she said. “Told him he needed to toughen up, told him other athletes managed pressure without falling apart the way he had. My father agreed with all of it. Reinforced it, actually, every time Daniel came home from

  • Behind the Ice Wall    Chapter 82 — The Brother She Couldn’t Save

    SKY’S POV Amira was quiet the next morning, quieter than I’d seen her since the earliest days after her resignation, and I noticed it immediately over coffee, the particular stillness of someone holding something carefully behind a closed door. “You okay?” I asked, though I already suspected the answer, given everything the previous night had unearthed for both of us. “I’m fine,” she said, too quickly, the same automatic deflection I recognized instantly because I’d spent years perfecting an identical version of my own. I set my mug down and looked at her directly. “That’s the same thing I used to say to you. Right before you’d tell me it wasn’t actually an answer.” A look crossed her face — recognition, maybe, or the particular discomfort of having your own technique turned back on you. “Fair,” she admitted. “I’m not fine. I’m just not sure I’m ready to talk about why yet.” “You don’t have to be ready. I’d just like you to trust me enough to try, the way I trusted you last ni

  • Behind the Ice Wall    Chapter 81 — The Ice Wall

    SKY’S POV I told Amira everything on a Tuesday night, the two of us on my couch, the surveillance file still open on my laptop across the room, though neither of us had looked at it in hours. I hadn’t planned to tell her all of it that night. But the memories had been surfacing for weeks by then, unbidden, insistent, and sitting beside her, safe for a few hours from everything else threatening us, finally loosened whatever had kept the full story locked away for over a decade. “I need to tell you something,” I said. “About my mother. About the panic attack. The real version, not the one everyone’s always believed.” She turned toward me fully, giving me her complete attention the way she always did, the particular quality of listening that had made those early therapy sessions feel different from anything I’d experienced before. “Take whatever time you need,” she said. “I’m not going anywhere.” • I told her about the driveway, about my father’s philosophy, about the specific se

  • Behind the Ice Wall    Chapter 80 — The First Crack

    SKY’S POV The locker room after the game carried a particular quiet that I’d never experienced before, the specific silence that follows a loss significant enough that nobody quite knows what to say to fill it. I sat at my stall, still mostly in my gear, staring at the floor, waiting for something inside me to feel more solid than it currently did. My coach approached first, crouching down to my level the way coaches do when they’re trying to soften whatever comes next. “Tough way to lose that one,” he said. “You played well most of the game. That last stretch just got away from you.” “I know.” “What happened out there? During that timeout, you looked different. Lost, almost.” I looked up at him, understanding this was my chance, if I ever intended to take it, to actually say the words. Panic attack. Something happened to my body I couldn’t control. I need help understanding what that was. “I lost focus,” I said instead. “Should have refocused faster than I did.” He nodded, a

  • Behind the Ice Wall    Chapter 79 — The Championship

    SKY’S POV The arena that night held more people than I’d ever played in front of before, the noise was a physical thing pressing against the boards from the opening puck drop, and for the first period, I barely noticed any of it. I played clean, focused, the particular calm that comes from a body that knows exactly what it’s doing regardless of what else might be happening in the mind attached to it. Eleven saves in the first period alone, most of them routine, a few that weren’t, and I skated to the bench at the intermission feeling, briefly, like the version of myself that could actually carry this. My father sat somewhere in the family section, close enough that I’d spotted him during warm-ups, his expression unreadable the way it always was during games. I knew my mother was watching too, from a hospital bed two states away, a television propped where she could see it, my father having promised to keep his phone on in case she needed to reach him during intermissions. Our goa

  • Behind the Ice Wall    Chapter 78 — The Secret About His Mother

    SKY’S POV The memories kept coming that week, arriving unbidden in the quiet hours between practices and whatever new development the surveillance situation produced, until I stopped fighting them and simply let myself remember. I was nineteen, a sophomore already being scouted by NHL teams, when my mother first mentioned the fatigue that wouldn’t go away. “Probably nothing,” she told me over the phone, her voice carrying the particular breeziness she used whenever she wanted to minimize something before I could worry about it properly. “Getting older, that’s all. Don’t let it distract you from your season.” I believed her, mostly because believing her was easier than the alternative, and because hockey had taught me, by then, that focus meant setting everything else aside until the season demanded otherwise. * The diagnosis came three months later, delivered to me over a phone call I took in a hallway outside the locker room, my father’s voice uncharacteristically unsteady as

More Chapters
Explore and read good novels for free
Free access to a vast number of good novels on GoodNovel app. Download the books you like and read anywhere & anytime.
Read books for free on the app
SCAN CODE TO READ ON APP
DMCA.com Protection Status