4

You're not nervous, Tate.  You're not nervous, and you're not nervous at all about Ollie.

And that's exactly how it was - I wasn't nervous - I was just freaking out a little since five o'clock.  I showered and tried on three different outfits before settling on black jeans with thigh holes, a dark t-shirt and a khaki bomber jacket (in case it got chilly in the evening).

Around six thirty, I received a message from David: We are there, we are about to check in.  What do you do?  I love you.

I rubbed my temples and wondered if I should give him a truthful answer.  But why not after all?  After all, I wasn't doing anything wrong when I was preparing for my friends' band rehearsal.  The fact that one of them was my ex shouldn't matter.

Finally, I wrote: I'm going out with June.  We go to the Fallen rehearsal and then sit down somewhere.

It wasn't until after I sent it that I realized I hadn't replied to his "I love you".

A moment later it arrived: I'm glad you have a program.  My father and I are going to the theater, so I won't be bored either.  Good evening my love.

And like a snap of a finger, I stopped feeling guilty.  It was clear that our ideas about entertainment were quite different.

I wrote him back: You too.  I love you.

Then I went to the bathroom to apply mascara and eyeliner.  I just ran a brush through my hair and let it flow down my back in waves.  I was hoping that I looked at least a little more presentable than I did at work today.  For some reason (which I didn't really want to think twice about) I just wanted to impress.

I put on my black Converse, grabbed my small purse and left the apartment.  When I ran out in front of the house, Juna's car was already on the sidewalk.  I quickly slid into the passenger seat and grinned at her, trying to take it positively today.  "Hello, June."

"You're late, Tate," she blurted out instead of greeting.

I glanced at the clock on the dashboard.  It was six zero one.  "Will you blame me for one minute?"

She shook her head until her blonde hair flew around and laughed.  "Of course not.  I'm really glad you're finally going." She slapped my thigh and nodded in satisfaction as I squealed. Only then did she finally leave.

It turns out that the rehearsal is taking place on the premises of a local liquor store, in which a friendly band Dead Souls was renting a small disused building.  June explained to me that Ollie had known their singer for about a year, so they quite willingly rented their space for one evening.  But thanks to this, more people learned about the exam and it will be a little closer.

When my friend drove into the compound through the open gate and parked, drums and guitars could already be heard from the building in front of us as the boys played.  There were at least five guys I didn't know standing outside.  Two of them were smoking and all of them were drinking beer.

June and I got out of the car and headed inside.  It turned out that we had to go upstairs, where we entered a large room with a couch, chairs and a small wooden stage with instruments.  It turned out that there were at least twenty other people.  All the unknown faces... however, I was subconsciously looking for just that one anyway.

And then an all-too-familiar voice came from the speaker system.

It wasn't until a few people moved aside that I saw Ollie sitting on the edge of the stage.  He sang on a song by the band Static-X.  His deep, raspy voice sent goosebumps through my body and I shivered.  And like years ago, I was suddenly hypnotized and couldn't take my eyes off him.  He got up and started pacing back and forth.  The moment he growled he stopped and leaned forward with the microphone.

Just like I've seen him a million times before.

But never before had his singing drawn me to him like the ratman's flute playing.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment. Suddenly I was damn sure this was a mistake.

“Hey Tate!” someone snapped me out of my despair.

I blinked and saw Zack playing drums in Fallen. He was a bit smaller than the other boys, but he made up for it with a lot of muscle. He had energy for two and was always smiling. When we last met two years ago, he had grown his hair and wore a cap all the time. Today, he already had a dark brown hair curled into a rubber band and reached a little below his shoulders. And right now he was grinning at me like a monkey.

"Hey!" I managed to shout before he grabbed me in his arms and spun me around.

"We missed you in the sugar bowl," he complained as he set me back down.

To jeho nadšení bylo nakažlivé. Zazubila jsem se na něj. „Jo, taky se mi po vás stejskalo."

"And now you're lying, aren't you?" he snapped at me.

June laughed beside me. "You bet he's lying. Who would want a bunch of Neanderthals like that."

Zack scowled at her. "Come on!"

"I'll allow you," she answered him with godlike calmness, sticking out her chin and walking away to a group nearby.

Oh great. We should have told her to stay by my side today in case he got near me...

Ollie.

How come he didn't sing anymore?

Right now he towered over Zack and growled, "Did you touch my girl?"

The person addressed just giggled and punched him in the shoulder. "You're an idiot, aren't you?"

The king of all idiots. Maybe I'll get him a crown myself.

"I guess Ollie forgot it was five years ago and didn't realize I've been dating someone else for a while," I blurted out to Zack. But my gaze was fixed on Ollie, who was now scowling at me rather intensely. He was wearing black jeans, a white t-shirt and a leather jacket that matched his military boots. And I hated him for the way it suited him. I really should get my head done to finally see that this is not the way to go.

"Yeah, Chad said you walk around with an ironed suit on," Zack remarked amused, and my ex gave a rather cheeky smile at that.

I just grinned in annoyance. "David happens to be very nice and wears a suit because he has rights," I tried to defend my friend.

Zack raised his hands as if in surrender. "Look, I didn't mean it in any bad way. The main thing is that you're happy, right?"

So this was the million dollar question.

Two looks (and one of them was much more intense than the other) were waiting for my reaction.

I tried to keep a calm expression and nodded slightly. "Yeah, I am. What about you, do you have someone?" I asked mainly to divert the conversation.

Zack ruffled his hair. "I'm fresh out of a breakup, but I'm not losing hope. The right one is definitely waiting just around the corner... or in this room.”

I had to admire his optimism in life and the way he approached it. I definitely wasn't that balanced after the breakup.

I patted him on the shoulder. "I'm not really worried about that, women will still fight over you. Drummers are quite popular. Remember Joey Jordison," I said, remembering one of my favorite bands - Slipknot.

Ollie's eyebrows seemed to twitch in my peripheral vision.

Zack grinned proudly. “Dad, there's definitely something to this theory. I really like that."

“Anytime, Zack. I'll stockpile the names of hot drummers and if worst comes to worst, call me." It was mostly a joke and a little provocation. Ollie always resented me admiring other men—even if they were just actors on TV or members of famous bands.

And the provocation probably worked, because the singer of the band Fallen just snorted in irritation next to us.

Zack ignored it though. "Now it occurs to me that I probably don't have your number anymore. Could we go somewhere together sometime—”

Ollie's hand landed on his shoulder. "Let's go play," he snapped at him, turning on his heel and walking away. It was more than clear that he expected Zack to follow immediately.

I stuck my tongue out on his back. That's what the notes in the cafe are for.

Zack just laughed at that. “So I played it right?” he assured himself.

I nodded gratefully. “Yeah, you're the best. Now you'd better run before he gets mad."

He shook his head with a smile. "I don't think he's as explosive as you remember him. It's just that he still seems quite... possessive towards you," he explained. And before I could say anything, he disappeared.

I stood there and stared.

Possessive tendencies? How the hell could he if we hadn't seen each other in five years?

At that moment, June pulled me by the sleeve of my jacket. "Come and settle down somewhere before those pesky strangers take all the seats here."

I obediently followed her, trying not to look in Ollie's direction. That's probably why I didn't realize she'd settled into the worst seat of all until she fell into the big chair and tapped the arm. "This epic place is all yours," she told me almost solemnly.

"I really won," I growled at her and sat down. I didn't mind the armrest. I really didn't. The problem was that the damn chair was about a meter from the stage.

I looked up at Ollie who was holding the microphone and found him looking at me. He quickly looked away and turned to Chad, who was pulling the bass strap over his head. The two exchanged a few words, and with a sigh, Chad removed the bass, propped it against one of the speakers, and picked up an electric guitar instead. Then he said something to the rest of the band and Zack behind the drums tapped his drumsticks together four times to count them off.

Matt was the first to start playing a strangely familiar melody on guitar, followed immediately by Zack on drums and Chad on second guitar. Ollie swayed to the beat and settled the microphone on the stand in the center of the stage. Then he stood up to him, closed his eyes, and said, “Hey baby, is he everything she's ever wanted in a man? You know I gave you my whole world, you had me in the palm of your hand, so why did your love disappear? I guess I just don't understand it. I thought it was the two of us, baby. You and me until the end, but I guess I was wrong."

I was completely frozen, frozen. I stopped breathing.

It was a freaking cover of Justin Timberlake 's What Goes Around .

Why did they choose this one? Why the hell?

At the next part, Ollie finally opened his chocolate eyes, which held countless secrets, and looked directly at me. "I don't want to think about it, I don't want to talk about it. It makes me sick. I can't believe it ends like this. It's confusing me, I feel sadness around me. I can not live without you. Say, is that fair?"