Chapter 5: The Talk with George

I didn't talk to George that night. I finished work and went home and made dinner with him. We talked about his day at work, my day at work sans the doctor call, and getting some new swimsuits for our honeymoon. He wanted to make a day of it. Saturday, we would carve a few hours to go shopping together for whatever we needed for our honeymoon.

I didn't mention the baby to George as he made love to me that night. I thought about all those times we had made love in the past few months and how we were inseparable; we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

I was trying to remember when I actually had my period last. The doctor said I was seven weeks along. So my last period would have had to have been at least 2 months ago. How did that not raise a red flag? I had thought it was related to stress. It never dawned on me that I might be pregnant. It wasn't in the plan. We didn't plan to get pregnant until year six.

George noticed something was wrong and paused his lovemaking. He looked me in the eyes for a few moments before asking, "What's wrong, Babe?"

"I'm sorry, I just had a lot on my mind. A lot is happening all at once."

"I know that's why we have nights like tonight. To take a break from all of it and let it go for a moment. Just let go of it. It will be there in the morning, Babe. Make love to me. Be with me here, now."

"You're right." I smiled at him and pushed him forward and onto his back, then rode him as if I hadn't a care in the world.

I was still rather distant the rest of the week. It was easy with how busy I was at work and all the last-minute things I had to do. I didn't need to think about the thing growing in me. I did stop and get the medication and order, Pink Stork, online, both of which helped me get through the next week and a half. Still, I needed to talk to George, and I was avoiding it. I made a vow to myself to tell him on our outing on Saturday.

As I thought of how to tell George and what he would say, I thought of all the times we had talked about having kids. We had been talking about getting married since we met practically and kids were part of that somewhere. It seemed as though maybe it was a priority, but we definitely both wanted that perfect family of four. Just not this soon.

I thought about what that would look like, and I kind of fell in love with the idea of having a baby. Even if it was a bit earlier than expected. But I wanted to know what George thought.

Then I thought about my job and what they would say. It was a big deal getting this position and being able to work on the collections up close. I was really looking forward to it.

I had worked so hard for it, and to not be able to go through with it as planned would mean the last six years of my life were a waste. I had been taking classes in high school to expand my portfolio before even applying to one of the most prominent design schools in the country.

I just couldn't see how a baby would work out in that life we had planned. But the more I thought about the thing in my belly, the more it felt like something special.

*****

I had made it to Saturday without having a full meltdown. I had finished all my wedding to-dos early and met George afterward. Trinity dropped me off, told me how jealous she was, and I caught up with George at the door of one of our favorite department stores. I tried my best to not be too distracted while George and I were shopping.

When we were finally done and stopped in The Poppyseed Assiette for an early dinner, I decided it was time. We put in our orders, and after the server left, I looked at George nervously.

"What is it?" He already knew. He knew something was up. We had known each other intimately for too long for him not to be aware of my cues.

"I have to tell you something. I am just not sure how to say it."

"Babe. Just say it."

"I'm pregnant…" I searched his eyes and found nothing. It was as though he hadn't heard me.

"Huh?"

"I went to the doctor on Monday because I was nauseous and anxious through the roof, you know, because of the wedding. And they ran some tests and called me Tuesday. The doctor said the tests came back as pregnant. Oh, and I need more Vitamin D."

"Ah. So that's why you were so distracted this week."

"Yeah, sorry."

"Well, you will get plenty of Vitamin D on the honeymoon."

"True." I actually hadn't thought of that. I had been so busy thinking about the thing in my belly and whether it was a blessing or a curse.

"And don't worry about the baby. We can set up an appointment when we get back. It's fine, Babe. I'll go with you."

"What if…"

"What?"

"I don't know. What if I want to keep it?"

"Oh…" He sat there looking at me then looked out the window quietly. We sat there for about five minutes in complete silence. It felt a lot longer. Finally, the waitress came and interrupted our silence and placed our dishes down in front of us. George perked up for a moment to thank her, and she was gone again.

I wasn't worried that he wasn't talking. I knew he was thinking, and he would answer the question when he had finished his line of thought. I just was unsure what a baby would do to our careers, and he would have absolutely no time to play daddy while on the fast track to run the business. And I didn't know how I could assist a huge up-and-coming fashion designer while taking care of a baby. Not to mention the time off to have the baby. In a perfect world, we could do it. But this was the real world, and we weren't superhuman; we get tired. We weren't even going to have much time to spend with each other.

We ate in silence.

We rode home in silence.

We put away what we had bought for our honeymoon in silence.

We got dressed for bed in silence.

We brushed our teeth side by side in silence.

We turned off the lights and got in bed in silence.

George turned to me and looked me in the eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Then he kissed me softly and rolled onto his back, and stared at the ceiling before closing his eyes. I snuggled in close and closed my eyes with a sigh.