Chapter 6. Organizing ideas.

Stephanie Miller.

I sped from the apartment, leaving Matt fuming. The terrible thing about our fight is that I know he is right. My sister always tries to ruin everything good that can happen in my life. She often looks for excuses for us to fight. All the discussions we have had have been about her. I don't know why I keep falling for her excuses every time something happens and my trust in Matt diminishes even more.

I always wanted to have a little sister. My childhood was very lonely. Matt has been my friend, my partner, my everything. I know I shouldn’t have fought with him over her; I know!

But once we got into fight mode, there was no turning back. We are both too stubborn to give in. Those are things we love about each other.

I walk aimlessly, immersed in my thoughts, deciding what I will do. I could go and face Stella right now, but I feel very affected by the fight.

If I faced her right now, she would only allow herself to hurt me even more than she already had. Every day that passes, I wonder why my sister hates me. I think that being a daughter born out of marriage has made her resentful.

When we found out I had a sister, I was fifteen, and she was ten. It was an enormous scandal, given that she came from an average family.

She went to public school, her grades weren’t great, and there was nothing she excelled at.

Despite everything, mom accepted her and every time she came to the house, she made no difference between the two. Over the years, I came to understand how noble my mother was.

I kept walking until I reached the park where I first met Matt. Automatically, my anger dissipated. I sigh as I place my hand on my heart, remembering what this place means to us.

I took my cell phone, intending to call him and telling him that the fight was a mistake, when suddenly, someone took the phone out of my hands.

I raise my head to look at the thief, when I see Matt standing in front of me. His eyes shine with regret as he tells me, “I shouldn’t have told you those things, honey. You’re right. Is not my place.”

I sigh, smile at him, and start crying without being able to stop. I cover my face, not wanting him to see me in that state.

Matt reacts by hugging me, giving me all his love. He tells me, “Now honey, calm down. I know, I know. We both screwed it up.”

He fills with words the emptiness I felt inside of not having him. He caresses my head and kisses my forehead.

I managed to calm down after a few moments of intense crying.

Then I say, “I’m sorry Matt. I know everything you said is true. I know she hates me and is most likely behind the calls we have received. But I feel obligated to have to defend her, no matter what.”

Matt looks at me with his tender, loving gaze, saying, “Honey, you’re not obligated to anything. It was your dad who had his slip. He’s the one who has to deal with her, not you."

He keep saying, " You have done your part. You have created spaces where the two of you can get closer and she is the one who maliciously pushes you away. The truth, my love, is that I don’t want to see you suffer. I don’t want her to hurt you again!”

I nod at his words, agreeing with everything he tells me.

I reflect for a few moments when I reply, “I feel like I owe her a debt. I feel privileged for the life I’ve had, compared to Stella. And you are right. My father is the one who has to deal with her. I have to let it have any influence in my life.”

Matt hugs me tighter as he says, “Did you come here intentionally?”

I look at him and answer, “no.” I left the apartment aimlessly. When I came to my senses, I realized I had come here. I don’t know how much time has passed, what time it is. How did you know I would be here?”

“I didn’t know,” he replies.

Then he adds, “Once you left the apartment, it took me ten minutes to calm down. Then I saw the dinner I prepared for you, the flowers you left on the floor, and I knew I had to come to get you. To tell the truth, the moment you left, I wanted to go after you, begging for your forgiveness. But I wanted to calm down first, before appearing in front of you.”

I smile at his words and tell him, “Me too, my love. As soon as I left the apartment, I knew I had ruined it. But since we were in fight mode, I kept going. If you didn’t know I was coming here, why are you here?”

He smiles at me in amusement as he says, “I figured you’d come here, given the history of this place in our relationship.”

I nod in satisfaction at his words, as I say, “What will we do with Stella?”

Matt ponders for a few moments, then responds, “Do you really want my opinion?”

I look him in the eyes intently and then I say, “I always want your opinion, Matt. You make me see things from another perspective.”

He smiles at me and kisses me tenderly. I place my arms around him and intensify the kiss, wanting to feel him, longing to tell him with my lips how sorry I am.

Matt stops, smiles at me, and finishes by kissing my forehead. Then he adds, “I can’t keep kissing you like this, honey. Otherwise, people will start looking at me strangely.”

I innocently replied, “What do you mean?”

He laughs, amused, as he tells me, “Your kisses, turns me on, honey. If we continue like this, it will soon stop being a film for everyone and will become only for adults.”

I instinctively look down at his pants and start laughing, understanding what he was trying to tell me.

I nod at his words and intertwine my hand with his.

We walk, as he tells me, “Returning to the topic of Stella, I think it’s time to involve your father. Things are getting out of control, and I really don’t want you to have to talk to her. Less being alone with her. Promise me, darling, that you won’t face her alone.”

I nod at his words and then add, “I promise. I won’t talk to her alone. And you are right. It’s time to get dad involved.”