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16. Being Too Close
I started doing the sketching, but it was from half heart. I envisioned how Dhruv looked when his heart was shattered, when he discerned all was just a declining memory in his mind. And to see a part of his past always moving with him. Even worse to realize that someone used you for money. I tried to imagine when Dhruv said things to his parents, when he spoke what he wanted. How his face would've been, when he grappled to get some money.
How couldn't I notice it before? When he said he already had the past to burn with? When he said I left him alone? Because everyone in his life always left him and then laughed at him. When that night he yelled at me? He always asked in the morning why she played with him and nobody else.
And in some way, I too cheated on him. Left him when a two days ago, his dog had died. His best friend. He had only two best friend. Me and him. And we both left him. We left him alone. Everyone just leave him alone, but h
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Betraying Myself 17. Wounds and Scars
Tossing on the side, I woke up by the crying and wailing of a baby. Lifting the lids open, I meandered my gaze to the room and a panic set in.Breath came lower, chest thumped harder. Slowly, I swirled my head to the side and relief flooded in my veins. Nothing happened like last time. I wasn't with some stranger. I was alone in the room.Scrutinizing carefully, I realized I was in Dhruv's apartment. Last night memories knocked and I fell back on the bed, stared at the white ceiling, with the noises coming in. Sleeping with jeans on was a tough thing. When I was pulling out the blankets from the closet last night, I had seen some girls clothes.Was Dhruv lying? Had he moved on and lying he didn't know if he loved Isha? Was he playing with me?Questions and questions.&n
Betraying Myself 18. Back to Life
I was slicing a portion when Dhruv mumbled, "you should be like this more."Lifting my gaze up, I stared at him petrified. "Like what?""Without any makeup. No doubt, makeup makes anyone look better but you look better like this also." I rolled my eyes at his answer."I've acne marks." Across my cheeks. I had to do makeup to hide them. He didn't say anything else and got back to his phone. Silence filled the table. Awkward silence."So what are you studying?" It looked like a safe subject to approach. He switched his phone off and placed it back on the table."BCA." I should have known it. Of course, he would go for something related to computer. He loved it. "What about you?""Just doing BA. After that NIFT." He smiled knowingly. I had been bragging to him about this since a long time.Aga
Betraying Myself 19. Walk Away
Denying part was easy.Ajay stood on his ground to make me go with him on a date - fancy one. But I didn't have time left in my schedule at all. I hadn't even brushed, and kissed him like this only. It came to my mind later, and for some miracle he didn't get the idea of foul breath. Maybe it could be because of the food I ate. He did ask why I taste like eggs, and I lied to him the same thing I said to mom.I was at Ishita's house.Lying in the relationship was bad. It was like a first step to cheating and I felt like I was cheating him by hiding the fact that I was with Dhruv, not Ishita. But he wouldn't have understood me and asked million questions. Questions which I wasn't ready to answer yet. He never understood my part and blamed me back.But that wasn't love. And when I said I love him, a feeling of wrong coursed, throat burned as it was a lie rolling down my tongue. I should've buried it dee
Betraying Myself 20. Screamed
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Betraying Myself 21. Bear
"Sanchi, hi." He glanced at the car and realization dawned on him. It was my car. "It's your car." Snapping out of the daze, he came towards me. "What are you doing here?" "I should be asking. Why are you here and in that uniform?" Sheepishly, he scratched his head and said, "I don't do this job if you're thinking. My friend, David, had to go out with his little sister. And this job is his home income. So, I just took his shift." "You took it?" I practically shouted. Day by day he was shocking me with his actions. Every time I saw him, it was like seeing a whole new person. And I didn't know what to think about it. He was changed. Too much changed. And the thing which confused was should I accept this Dhruv or miss the one which I had lost to the world?
Betraying Myself 22. Ruined Lives
Halting the car, I peered back at him and was met by his intense gazing. I hadn't forgotten the nickname he used for me, causing the heartbeat to skyrocket and hands to quiver. It had been such a long time since I heard him taking this name. For fifteen minutes, I didn't say anything, replaying his words in my mind, again and again, to see if I was dreaming. I had even pinched myself - ridiculous as I was. But it wasn't.He really called me bear. His bear.No doubt I didn't look like a bear anymore, but the nickname was something I fancied. I loved it."Thanks for dropping me." He said.Blinking, I replied, "You drove, not me. So thank you for driving me."Chuckling, he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, thinking deeply."Would you mind if I ask something?"I shook my head in reply. I had asked so many questions from him without a
Betraying Myself 23. A Safe Comfort
Shrugging his hands off, I was going to my room when I heard dadi speaking, "She has ruined my son's life.""Dadi enough!" Rakshit exclaimed. I didn't pay any attention. I was too numb to feel anything and walked back to my room. Closing the door, I sank on my knees and shook to cry, but no tears came out and embraced me. I wanted the weight to be lift out of my heart. I didn't want to feel the burden. I didn't want to feel guilty for ruining my dad's life. I didn't want to feel guilty for anything."Why nobody trusts me?!" I mumbled and thrived to cry. I wanted the storm to break out and leave me. Just leave me alone with everything and cry until my eyes dried and I could put myself together up after breaking on the floor.Why didn't dad listen to me? He always did.
Betraying Myself 24. Armour and World
Empty eyes gazed back at me, overflown marks of mascara running down like rain marked the cheeks, chapped lips were dying to be wet. I put my quivering hands over the box and opened it, taking out the things to hide away the sadness which overshadowed my face.Taking the wipes, I cleaned away the mascara. I had put it before but angered myself, and used it wrong, letting it go south. Swiping the wipes over the face, I cleaned the sign of anger from the face. Placing them back on the table, I took the concealer and hide the dark circles which marked the stress of the last night.Little by little, I took every sign of sadness and anger and pain from my face until I could only see was the clean face, looking unbreakable like always. No crack and no pain would be seen by everyone else. Even me, just for a second.Then I would clearly see the cracks, one after the another, ready to break down and show the real t
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