Between Breathe And Goodbye

 “I can’t continue this relationship anymore, Eliana, I’m tired.” Mike’s voice was flat. No anger, no hesitation, he was just done.

For a moment, I thought I didn’t hear him well. “Tired?” I repeated, my voice shaking. Tired of what? Mike, what are you saying?

He didn’t look at me. That hurt more than his words. His eyes stayed fixed on the floor like I wasn’t worth facing.

“I’m done, Eliana.” Done? Are you done with four years just like that. No, I said quickly, stepping closer to him. No, you don’t mean that. We can fix this.

Whatever it is, we’ll fix it. Please—just talk to me. My hands reached for him, but he pulled away like my touch burned. That was when panic set in.

Mike, please, I whispered, my voice breaking. Don’t do this, dont end us this way, at least not like this. Not without even telling me why.

You haven't even given me reasons why you want to break up with me and you want me to accept this? No, no, Mike i can't accept this please.

Tears blurred my vision, but I refused to stop talking.  If I stopped, it would mean this was real.

I know I’ve made mistakes, I continued, my words rushing over each other. But so have you. We always work things out. That’s what we do and that’s why we are here, to fix things together when they go wrong.

He finally looked at me and I wish he hadn’t. There was nothing in his eyes anymore. No love, no softness, just distance.

I don’t feel the same anymore. Those words hit harder than anything else. I staggered back slightly, shaking my head.

No… you don’t mean that. You can’t just stop loving someone overnight. It didn’t happen overnight and that was worse. It meant he had been feeling this way for a long time… and I didn’t even notice.

Then why didn’t you tell me? I cried. Why didn’t you say anything? He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Because I didn’t want to deal with this. This? I pointed between us. You mean us?

“Yes.” He said. I felt something inside me crack.

Please, I whispered, my voice barely there now. Just… don’t leave me like this. For a second, I thought he might change his mind, but he didn’t. Instead, he stepped back.

“I’m sorry'', Eliana then he turned and walked away just like that. “Mike!” I called after him, my voice echoing louder than I expected. “Mike, wait” But he didn’t stop.

I stood there frozen, as his figure disappeared from my life and just like that… I was alone. I don’t remember how long I stood there. Then suddenly, reality crashed into me all at once. My hands started shaking as I grabbed my phone and dialed his number.The number you are trying to reach is not available.

“No…” I whispered, dialing again. “Pick up, please pick up.” But i got same response. My chest tightened painfully.

I opened my w******p with trembling fingers thinking maybe he would reply there or maybe this was all a misunderstanding. But the moment I opened our chat, my heart dropped. His last message stared at me.

''I’m done Eliana''. There was no explanation, just those three words and that was when i realized that mike was gone for real.

"I didn’t cry immediately—that was the strange part. I just stared at the screen, like I couldn’t process what had just happened. 'Four years,' I whispered, counting my fingers."

Memories flooded my mind—our first date, the way he used to hold my hand, the late-night calls, and the promises we made. They were all gone just like that .

My throat tightened, and then the tears came. They didn’t fall gently; they came all at once, uncontrollable. I pressed my hand against my mouth, trying to hold in the sound, but it didn’t work. Everything hurt—my chest, my head—and even breathing felt painful.

I hate you….. I whispered through tears. I hate you so much, Mike. But even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t true—and that was the worst part.

I don’t know why I went to the restaurant. It was almost empty when I walked in. The soft light made everything feel distant. I sat down without thinking.

A waitress approached me with a small smile. Good evening, ma’am, what would you like to order?

I stared at her for a moment before answering. I’m not hungry, she hesitated. Would you like something to drink?  Yes, i replied calmly.

What would you like? Something strong, I replied. She nodded and left.

A few minutes later, she returned with a bottle. I didn’t even check what it was, I just drank. I had one, two, three, and then four bottles. The alcohol burned, but I didn't care.

“Four years…” I muttered, shaking my head. “Four whole years, and this is how it ends?”

The waitress returned, her expression slightly concerned. Ma’am, that’s enough for tonight. Another one, I said, pushing the empty bottle aside.

I’m sorry, but we’re closing soon.’ I stared at her, annoyed. ‘Just one more.’ ‘I can’t she said in a low tune.

I let out a dry laugh. Of course you can’t. Everything was being taken away from me tonight anyway. I threw some money on the table and stood up. Or at least… I tried to.

The moment I got up, the world tilted. My legs felt heavy, and my vision blurred.

Oh….. I whispered, grabbing the edge of the table. I think I’m drunk. The waitress rushed forward. Ma’am, do you need help?’  I’m fine, I said quickly, pulling away. I can walk, i couldn’t, but I tried anyway.

The night air hit my face as I stepped outside. I stumbled forward, laughing bitterly. Look at me,I muttered. Crying over a man who doesn’t even want me.

Anger rose inside me, sudden and fierce. Fuck you, Mike!  I shouted into the empty street. Go to hell! I don’t care anymore!  But even as I said it, my voice cracked—because I did care. That was the problem.

I kept walking,unsteadily, my thoughts spinning.  I gave you everything, I continued, my voice louder now. Everything!