Chapter 03

"What you witness is just a tip of an iceberg." Everything went into a noose. My breathing became a rope, knotted firmly, making my chest yanked downward and upward motion in a turbulent course.

I blink momentarily before glancing at him. His face is waiting for me to speak up. But how? I can't even utter a single word because I'm fucking busy calming myself!

My valor wasn't enough to face the danger ahead of us. Especially in this battle, I don't know how to defeat. Is there even a way how?

Moreover, I sense like I wanted to throw up and smack my head multiple times. Everything I saw is making me insane in a hardcore way.

"How did you survive?"

What the hell?! So, he's fucking speculating that I should be a frigid cadaver right now?

"I don't even know how the hell this world ends up like this." I hissed and gritted my teeth as I looked away.

I jerked off when the other military wagon behind us is currently shooting those people with a body of a dead.

I wanted to scream loudly but instead, I felt the impulses of vomiting surging from my stomach. Gross to think, but I badly needed to eject and puke this out in my mouth after noticing some people walking with an enormous crater in their womb, and others are surely having a great time screwing their eyes out.

Oh, fuck!

"People who got saturated with the rain earlier will become like that. We called them walkers and they're already undead. Zombies, they say. And if you got bitten by them, foresee that you'll gonna be one of them in less than an hour."

I downed all my saliva in one swallow and drifted my eyes away outside. But then, I chose to face him again this time.

"The rain?" The trinket in my voice is visible and he recognizes that.

"Yes. We suspected that the rain carry something that made the people swerved like this."

My mother told me that 'bout a while ago. The rain...does it mean it brought a virus and pilgrimages before reaching the ground? And if I'm not mistaken, those people slammed by the drops became undead, clearly evolved a host of this unknown virus.

I think my mother knows a lot about this but she chose to shut up and keep this all to herself.

Why didn't she told me a single thing? Neither an inkling just for me to have a brief of information.

Damn. This is so fuck up!

"How did you reached my place?"

"We are assigned in the camp nearby when this shit occurred. Good thing we're not out for the general inspection, that's why when it rains, we prevailed intact and chose to lurk in a safer place or every one of us will die."

I cursed him inside my head. I think I made myself clear about my questions, not his answer about what went on to them.

Obscene, but I don't care about them. All I care about is myself. Or something that can help me withstand this phenomenon.

Everything around me is destructive and tricky. That's why I need to be vigilant at all times.

"I am not imploring for your tale."

He cackled and the irritation I felt grew even more.

"We're looking for our comrades that's why we attained your place. I even thought you're already a walker. Too bad, you're not."

"And what will you do if you found out that I'm a walker?" Fuck me for asking.

"I'm gonna shoot you right on the head in no time." The candor of his voice was like a poison that irked my composure.

"Well, too bad, I'm not." I shot back, showing annoyance all over my face.

"You should be thankful that I saved you."

"I don't dare to say thanks because in the first place, I'm not yelling for you to help me."

Guts. That's all I have. But no matter how I oppose, I know for a fact that I'm wrong 'cause if it wasn't because of him, then maybe I'm already a walker and walking around with my body strewed and wholly break.

"Nice nerve you got there, Miss."

Of course, dimwit. If I don't have any guts up in my sleeves, then I regarded myself as a wuss fainting exactly.

"The only thing that I have not to freak out," I whispered, free from fibs.

I watched him lost his smile. His lips shaped into a thin line like he doesn't prefer my choice of words.

"Be brave then. Because that's the only shield you can have to survive."

Huh! Brave my ass. How can I even be brave if seeing all of this made me a wimp? I'm not like them that showed no fear. Heck. Uncertainty is already in grip of my body.

"Where are we going?" I asked, a bit hesitant.

"In military base. We're roaming around a place for a bit, finding some people who survive."

"But there's a big possibility that only a few had survived, right?"

"Yes," He ceased and called the other soldier. "Halt. Let's check the abandoned house." He announces full of authority in his voice.

"W-wait, what?!" I can't help but shiver involuntarily when they already stepped out from this vehicle.

I gasped in horror. There's a chance that they will leave me here, staying until they get back. But what if there's a walker that will barrage me?

Shit. That's the last thing I don't wanna experience.

"Relax, Miss. Anjor will be left inside with you. Nothing to worry about."

If only that's the case. But hell no! I won't gonna stay here and wait for someone to kill me. A walker or not. I know in this crisis, people are now being ignorant and blinded by the fact that they only need to survive. Selfish it may seem, but that's how I gauged and looked up to all the horrible things that transpired in this world.

"O-okay." My voice was getting tinier until it became a whisper. 

I can't do anything. They leave me no choice but to reside on my spot.

My eyes gazed at them as they already taking a stride towards the abandoned house.

I can hear the voices ringing inside my mind. Like nightmares that always chase me down every night I sleep when I was a child. Awakened by their cries of agony, shouting for help.

They need to be saved. But how? How can I if I know that they're just inside my head?

"Oh my God!" I almost cried when I saw a walker in the window of this vehicle I'm in.

"Don't worry, Miss. Just stay put 'cause I'm gonna shoot him. And if you're scared, well, you look like one right now, just close your eyes. This won't last long." Trembling, I nodded.

It's going to be alright. I whispered to myself softly. I breathe in and out, my way to calm myself.

My eyes are shut closed but the moment I heard a gunshot near this car, I yanked off and decided to open my eyes.

Only to eyewitness a panorama on how the soldier was killed by the unidentified man and he brutally graze the walker using the soldier like a lump of fresh meat.

This is not fucking happening!

But the instant meeting of our eyes and he snigger evilly, I know I'm in danger.

I don't know how did I governed myself to steal up in the front seat with accelerated speed, but it doesn't matter. My responsibility right now is to escape from here.

I found myself maneuvering the truck and fuck I didn't know how I did it, but I just did. I turned onto the runway and began to gather speed.

I empty all the inhibitions and just hauled this car to nowhere, leaving those soldiers dealing with the walkers. I left them for greedy reasons, I know. I may be lack concerns for their lives but sorry to say that I'm only concerned chiefly with my profit. What I did is everything about survival.

The hell I care with them. I just needed to get out of there and save my ass!

I almost, almost hit those walkers blocking my way. Foolishness whacks me when I halted the car. My conscience is booting the hell out of me.

Ludicrous, Xiomara! Your pity won't help you!

My inner feeling voice out its rectitude. They're still a human in my eyes, well, except for their organs lifting out, but still, a human.

Heck. The real deal is, they have a body of a human but a mind of an undead.

I pity them before shutting my eyes closed for a minute.

My power is wielded by my weakness and cowardice and my honor is false in all its points. There's no time for being a wimp animal. I need to be brave.

I stepped the gas pedal and let their body collided with this vehicle. I can't imagine how their body swiveled by the wheels but I know it's disastrous than it is. I can even hear the cracking of bones caused by the impact.

I winced and chewed my bottom lip when the wrecking sound reached its end. Meaning, I already departed through them.

It's my first time to kill and it's fucking heartbreaking that I can't even do anything to save them. There's no choice neither an option to snatch.

I guess this is the new world. World of chaos spurred by the perilous phenomenon.

Before I could even gain my stability back, another military vehicle passed by my side and took over the way, made the car became a bottleneck to stop me from escaping.

I can hear the interruption of my breath as I looked at him getting out of the vehicle. The rage in his eyes was vivid, added by his jaw firmly clenching and brows almost putting into one line together.

The loud thud almost thumped me out. But what scarier was his dim face greeting me. Overstated, but I can visualize the dark smoke surrounding his head, making him more destructive than he is.

"I lost half of my men because of your fucking stupidity!" His voice was full of indignant emotions.

"I-I'm sorry..." And right there, I knew I lost it.

I let myself cried in front of him. Letting my tears continuously surges in my cheeks. My sobbed were getting audible and rougher each second.

"Open this damn door!" I shuddered as I unlocked the door.

I can't find my strength to stare at his eyes. I lowered down my head, fist-clenching on the steering wheel with my shoulders trembling because of my shed tears.

"I shouldn't have saved you right from the start. You're a fucking burden!"

"I'm s-sorry..."

"Can your sorry bring back the lives of my men?! Fucking tell me!"

"N-no," I whimpered and decided to look at him.

He frustratedly brushes his hair using his fingers. His eyes grated and averted his gaze at me.

"Keep your selfishness from yourself but don't drag others' lives for you to survive." That knocked me up like a ten-wheeler truck, disintegrating my heart in a shit of searing flame.

I became a damper the whole ride. And every time they're gonna sprout those walkers, I strengthened myself by covering my ears and closed my eyes tightly in a denomination of being blind.

"This is the new world now. Flooded with humanity's blood." I heard him said.

He's right. Everything howls bad blood that looks like this world had a tremendous spiced of burning hell.

"What's your name?" That made me surprised but I concealed the amusement in myself upon mentioning my name.

Don't let anyone know that you're an Eleanor.

My mother's voice is like a threat ringing inside my head.

I bit my bottom lip as I peeked at him.

"X-Xiomara," I spoke in a whisper but enough for him to heed.

"Xiomara..." His dangerous voice gives me creeps. It sent some twitchings through my veins.

"I think you're a woman who would run through fire and water for such a selfish heart."

Ouch. My heart and soul cannot even dodge his venomous words.

That must've hurt a lot, yeah?