002: The divorce.

Bianca

My soul screamed in pain, refusing my body the ability to hold life.

I rose,trying to save myself some dignity but the pain got worse so I lay back down.

I grabbed around for Diego but he already left the office with Juana following him. The security took my hands instead and helped me up, leading me out of the office,to the car.

When I got in,the driver asked me where I would want to go and the only place I could think of was the hospital because of the immense pain I was feeling.

Resting my head against the window,trying to assuage the pain,I ignored the passing scenery. The pain got worse,and my heart is clenching making it difficult for me to breathe.

I felt it first,the grasp of death before I saw it. I screamed and told the driver to hurry up when the air in the car felt insufficient and suffocating.

On getting there,I was rushed to the emergency room. It was amidst the intense pain that I passed out.

*******

As I slowly opened my eyes,the sterile scent of the hospital filled my senses. The bright fluorescent light above me cast an eerie glow in the plain White Walls.

My head throbbing with a sharp pain in my neck,I placed my hand there as I tried to make sense of my surroundings.

A surge of panic courses through my veins when I suddenly remembered what had happened. The beeping of the machines beside my bed only intensified my anxiety.

“Ma'am,are you alright? “ I heard someone say from beside me and that's when I noticed the doctor standing close to me.

I raised my head to meet his eyes and I couldn't look past the expression on his face,it wasn't sadness or worry,it was pity.

I cried,I cried for the bond that was broken today and I cried for me,a woman with nothing.

“I am sorry, but you'll be fine soonest,” the doctor said as if that was enough to lessen my pain.

Listening to my body mourn,my consciousness walked out,lending my heart some sort of relief until the anguish was somehow bearable.

Suddenly, the door was swung open, u didn't care who it was until I heard the doctor say “ I don't think she is mentally ready to entertain any visitor"

"I will be quick."

I knew it was him,even with everything that had happened,a part of me was glad that he had come,maybe the version of my husband I last experienced is a fragment of my imagination but watching him sit far away from me,his face blank, his eyes set alright with disgust,I shudder.

“I had another heart attack" those were the only words that came out of my mouth.

“I know," he replied,his face devoid of any emotion.

“You know? That's all you have to say?” my breaking voice let out,tears spilling out.

“What do you want me to say? That it's my fault…”

“Yes Diego,it was your fault” I replied,my voice almost like a whisper.

“Oh please,stop this disgusting act. Get over yourself. You are not the first person to have a heart attack. You were not even supposed to be at my office. My workplace is my business and of limit for you.” Diego bellowed out, striding towards me.

“What are you saying? I am your wife.” I whispered, barely getting the words out.

He was beside me now, holding my chin up with his strong hands,”not anymore Bianca." He said while looking at me.

The scary part about this is not the words,us that while looking back at him, I could tell he meant it all, all the harsh words leaving his mouth, he meant it all.

I was mute, staring helplessly at him, watching the emotions dance on his face and without thinking,I muttered, “go to hell.”

The emotions stopped at disbelief as he leaned down and asked,” what did you just say to me?"

"Take your filthy hands off me and go to hell!” I screamed at his face, pulling my chin and throwing him off me.

In his anger, he slapped me, leaving me disoriented. I looked back at him with shock clear on my face.

He looked back at me,still angry and disgusted he threw an envelope that I had not noticed he was holding to me.

“I want it signed and delivered to me” he said before walking out of the room.

I quickly opened the envelope with my trembling hands and I was shattered when I saw its content, a divorce letter.

I threw away the letter from me, it was starting to feel heavy.

At this point,it felt like I had reached my limits, I couldn't take it anymore,I had lost everything and within seconds,I had decided to no longer live and I felt nothing.

With my mind made up,I pulled out the drip from my arms, stood up and headed for the roof top. When I got there,I went up the edge and stood there, waiting for the push that led me here to help me take the next step away from life.

But there was nothing,the blinding courage that held me in it's hold was nowhere to be found and I was just standing at the very edge of the ledge,just waiting.

“Now I know why he left me,I am a coward,I can't even take my own life,I can't do nothing worthwhile”, I told the air, shamefully.

I attempted bro move away from the edge but my leg slipped

My hands were flaying,my eye bulging, a scream lodged in my throat, refusing to be let out,fear held me in it's grip.

“Is this it?”, I thought,as I watched the edge on which I once stood get farther and farther away from me, my life unfolding before me.

I forced my eyes to close, accepting my fate, I mean, I had no other option then suddenly,I stopped.