Chapter 5 - I hadn’t expected to feel this hollow

ALEXANDER'S POV

I glanced at my wristwatch, checking the time while trying to focus on what Astra was saying. “Next, we should swing by the gallery. I need a new piece for the living room,” she said, giving me that look she always did when she wanted something—half playful, half demanding.

Astra had an impressive talent for finding the most expensive art, and I couldn’t deny her taste. Thank goodness I had the means to keep up with her indulgences. Still, something felt off since she came back into my life. I needed time to adjust, to figure out how to fit her back into my life without feeling lost.

“Sure, whatever you want,” I said, offering a half-hearted smile while pulling out my phone from my blazer pocket.

As I scrolled through some work emails, I barely heard her talking about the latest exhibit. I felt her presence but also this growing sense of detachment. The car came to a stop, and the driver opened the door, but Astra was already out, waiting impatiently for me. I sighed, reaching to put my phone away when it buzzed in my hand.

I unlocked the screen and saw a text from Katherine—totally unexpected. My stomach dropped. The message was blunt, asking me to send over the finalized paperwork for our divorce. I felt my jaw tighten without even thinking, a mix of anger and confusion washing over me.

This was what I wanted, right? I’d been the one insisting we end things. But why did her eagerness to sign the papers leave me feeling so unsettled? Just last week, she was pleading for another chance, begging me to reconsider my decision. Now, it seemed like she couldn’t get away fast enough. What changed?

Where had she been for the last few days? Was she seeing someone else? I knew her things were still scattered around my place, a chaotic reminder of her presence. I didn’t think I loved her anymore, but why was this eating away at me?

I had tried reaching out to her, but each call to voicemail felt like a stab in the gut. I sent texts asking if she was okay—if we could talk—but silence was my only reply. I could almost feel the weight of her absence pressing down on me.

Inside, I was wrestling with conflicting emotions. I wanted to move on with my life, to embrace the new opportunity that Astra represented. But the thought of losing Katherine felt like a hollow ache in my chest. Was I really ready to let her go, even if it was what I’d said I wanted? I kept telling myself that I didn’t love her, but the truth was more complicated.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Astra's voice. I was ready to text Katherine back, asking her to meet so we could talk things through. “Come on, Alex! I’ve been waiting for ages. Let’s get moving!” Astra's voice cut through my haze, her impatience evident as she stood on the pavement, arms crossed.

I wanted to tell her this was more than just an errand. But as I shoved my phone back into my pocket, all I could manage was a forced smile. The exhaustion of juggling my feelings between wanting to be with Astra and the nagging fear that I was losing Katherine for good weighed heavily on me.

“Alright, let’s go,” I said, trying to shake off the tension. As I stepped out of the car and walked beside Astra toward the gallery, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was caught in a web of my own making, and both women were slipping away, leaving me with nothing but a growing sense of regret.

After our visit to the gallery, I let out a frustrated groan and shoved my phone back into my blazer pocket. Reluctantly stepping out of the car again, I prepared to face another round of shopping hell at this boutique.

Astra had promised it would be a quick stop, but of course, that was far from the truth. An hour later, I was watching her snag half the store, my credit card taking the hit while I tried to mask my irritation. As she finished up, I stepped outside for a breath of fresh air, still haunted by Katherine’s text.

I need to head to the office, I thought as Astra joined me outside, her arms laden with bags.

We climbed into the car, and before long, we arrived at my company. I walked into my office with a long stride while Astra trailed behind me.

I needed to think.

“Thanks for everything, Alex!” Astra chirped, sliding beside me as I sat in my chair. “You’re the best! I think you deserve a little treat, too.” Her eyes sparkled mischievously as she leaned closer, her voice dipping into that sultry tone I knew all too well.

Before I could fully process what was happening, her lips brushed against my neck, then trailed to my jawline. Just as she moved to kiss me properly, I instinctively turned my head, and her lips landed softly on the corner of my mouth instead.

“Let’s save it for later, Astra,” I managed to say, gently pushing her back, though part of me hated that I was resisting.

“Is it because of her?” Astra's voice cut through the air, making me blink in surprise before I quickly regained my composure. “Can’t you see how she’s made a fool of herself in the media with her exposed pictures with that strange man? I can’t believe you’re still thinking about her,” she spat as she stormed out of my office.

I let out a frustrated sigh the moment she was gone. I really couldn’t stand how Astra kept bringing this up. It was already a sore spot for me, and her constant reminders made it even harder to move on. It just fueled my anger that afternoon.

To shake off the bad vibes, I threw myself into work, hoping to drown out the unease. Eventually, I decided to call it a night and head home. The office was now deserted, and the silence only made my thoughts louder.

When I finally slipped through the front door, I moved quietly, hoping to sneak past Katherine’s room. I imagined the maids might have put her things in order by now, or at least started packing them up.

But as I reached her door, I froze. The room was entirely bare. It looked like no one had ever lived there. Not a single trace of her—no scent of her perfume, no stray items left behind. The realization hit me hard: she was actually gone!

A wave of nausea washed over me, an acrid taste of regret forming in the back of my throat. I hadn’t expected to feel this hollow. I thought that once my decision was finalized, I would feel relief, but instead, I was left with an emptiness I couldn’t shake.

I had imagined there would be more of a struggle, some final conversation before we officially parted ways. But now it felt like everything had happened too quickly. I’d lost my chance to see her one last time.

Before I could stop myself, I found my phone in hand again, my thumb hovering over her name. I pressed it to my ear, waiting for the sound of her voice—any sign of life from her. Maybe I could convince her to meet, to talk about the finality of our divorce.

But as the phone rang on and on, my heart sank. She didn’t pick up. I tried again, then a third time, but all I got was silence. It felt like I was trying to grasp something intangible, slipping further away with each unanswered ring.

The next few days dragged on in torment. Each minute felt like an eternity. What was wrong with me? Why was I feeling this way about Katherine? I had convinced myself I was ready to move on, to embrace whatever was next. But deep down, I felt like I was losing a part of myself, and it terrified me.

Out of nowhere, my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and saw a weird number. Without a second thought, I picked it up, hoping it was Katherine. As soon as I put the phone to my ear, I heard a deep voice, which totally let me down and made me a bit mad too.

“What do you want?” I shot back, ready to hang up at any moment.

“Mr. Blake, this is your bank manager. We received a card from your wife, Mrs. Katherine Blake, which has been returned to us. I’m calling to arrange for it to be delivered to you.”

“The black card was sent back?” I asked, barely believing it.

“Yes, I’m looking right at it.”

“Please have it delivered. Thanks,” I said, cutting the call immediately.

“She actually returned the black card I gave her?” I muttered to myself, trying to process it all. Was this the confirmation of her trending naked pictures? Is she with someone else now? Did she really move on that fast?