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Blaze Within 47
The days began to pass faster and faster with the date for my test for my GED quickly approaching. I was nervous, yet anxious to finally get it over with. I was determined to pass, both for myself and for Alaric. I had to prove I could be more to both him and I. In the little spare time we had, Alaric insisted on taking me to the gym several times to teach me some basic self-defense. It wasn’t easy having him as my supposed attacker. The last thing I wanted to do was try to beat him up or imagine him as ever hurting me. Not to mention he was far too gentle with me to ever be taken seriously. He acted as though I was a fragile glass doll he was afraid of breaking. On the morning of my test, I was a disastrous ball of nerves. Alaric kept telling me to breathe on the drive to the test, assuring me over and over again that I was going to be fine. I entered the test room and quickly took a seat. I fiddled nervously with my pencils as I waited for the start. After instructions and packets
Blaze Within 48
The doorbell chime woke me up. I groggily opened my eyes and looked around the pitch-black condo. I slowly sat up from the couch; my mind slower than my body as it started to question who would be ringing the doorbell at this time of night. My heart began to thud in my chests as I rose unsteadily to my feet. I pulled Alaric’s suit jacket tight around me as I walked toward the front door. I flipped the light on inside first and squinted as it blinded me. Once my eyes adjusted, I peeked out the spyhole into the dark night. No one was there, and the security light outside clicked off. It would have been activated by movement that was now gone. Hesitantly, I punched in the code to turn off the alarm and slowly cracked the door open. I peeked out, my eyes searching frantically for any movement but saw nothing. I opened the door further and slowly stepped out, glancing around in all directions. Nothing but silence. I took a couple steps out, wrapping my arms around myself as I stood in the
Blaze Within 49
Brock turned out to be a very avid talker. He rambled on and on all during breakfast. Of course, Alaric seemed to join in nearly just as much. They laughed and reminisced over memories that I had no knowledge of. They had some crazy concoction atop their bread that I declined to join them in. I opted for simply jelly atop my toast. Alaric drove me to my shift at Kiki's, but I opted not to tell him in the car. It was too much to unload during our short drive. It didn't matter anyway, Alaric spent the time telling me he and Brock were planning to have a few friends over for a poker night, if that was okay with me, of course. I had no problem and he assured me again and again that he wouldn't forget to pick me up. I ran about during my shift, my body in Kiki's but my mind on Alaric. I desperately needed to tell him how I felt. Every second that passed seemed like agony now that I had decided to reveal my feelings to him. I was so distracted I hadn't seen him walk in to get seated, nor
Blaze Within 50
I woke up and rubbed my tired, swollen eyes. For the first time in a while, I found myself waking up and hating my life. My heart ached painfully as I dragged myself from bed. I tried to give myself a pep talk as I showered and dressed. For all I knew, this woman could have just been a one-night stand to Alaric. She could mean nothing. He may never see her again. Despite what he decided to do, the hook-up had made one thing obviously clear to me: I loved Alaric. I had laid in bed sobbing over him all night long. Seeing him with someone else had awoken a jealousy within me I didn’t even know existed. I couldn’t squelch it, just as I couldn’t heal my broken heart. I had taken Alaric for granted all this time. I just assumed he would wait, apparently forever. I had been selfish and stupid to think that. Of course he wasn’t just going to sit and wait his entire life for me. I had waited too long, making excuse after excuse, and now I was at risk of losing him. I was going to talk to him
Blaze Within 51
I went to work at Kiki's over the weekend, and to my horror Ace came in both days. He must have figured out I was working weekends, as the other waitresses commented that he hadn't been in all week. I refused to wait on his table, and besides his constant glare, I had no contact with him. I came home Sunday night to find a note from Alaric informing me he was covering another fireman's shift and would be gone overnight. It wasn't unusual for him to work overnight, but I always hated it. The condo was always too quiet and lonely. Tonight though was an exception. Brock was still visiting, and he seemed eager to unload his adventures with someone. After a long dinner of listening to his recent dart competition, I headed up to bed. --- I slowly opened my eyes, unsure why I was awoken. I rolled over, trying to go back to sleep when I heard the thumping. It sounded like something banging against the condo. I slowly sat up in bed, glancing around my dark bedroom when the doorbell chimed re
Blaze Within 52
I laid in bed that night rehashing all of my regrets with Alaric. Was it really too much to ask to be able to go back in time and have a redo? I would have kissed him on the stairs that fateful day when I confessed all my secrets to him and he declared his love for me. How did he feel about me now? Did he still feel the same way? I tossed and turned in bed, trying to find sleep but it eluded me. I finally wandered downstairs to get a midnight snack. I searched around the kitchen, ready to eat my feelings, when Brock came stumbling into the kitchen. I turned toward him as he fell into one of the kitchen chairs and laughed at his own clumsiness. It was clear by his lack of balance and laughter he had been drinking. He had come home just as I was headed to bed and Ally was leaving for the evening. I hadn't seen Alaric since Ally had ushered him upstairs. "Stephie!" Brock yelled as he threw his hands up in the air as if excited. "Steph," I corrected him in annoyance. "Steph, Stephie,
Blaze Within 53
I ended up catching the bus and going over to my friend Catherine's house. She wasn't home, but she had given me a key a long ago when I had been with Ace. She had wanted me to have a safe place to go whenever needed. I stayed at her house, internally brewing over Alaric until she came home and I unloaded the entire story upon her. She looked at me with a thoughtful expression as she wound her long blonde hair around her fingers. "You know, they have that saying distance makes the heart grow fonder." I blew out a breath as I leaned back into the couch in her living room. After my morning and afternoon of thinking, I had come to the same conclusion. I needed to move out. I needed to put some distance between Alaric and I. We were too close, too always there. "I kind of thought the same thing" I confessed. "Girl!" she squealed as she slapped my thigh. "You can stay here!" I cocked an eyebrow at her. "You and Fred are getting married next month. The last thing I want is to live with
Blaze Within 54
Alaric and I rode in the back of Frank and Alice's minivan to the screaming sound of Joni and Kimberly in their car seats. They were in the middle row, and we sat on opposite side of the bench seat behind them. I hadn't spoken to Alaric since I eavesdropping’s conversation with Ally. We arrived at the park as we unloaded from the car. Alaric stretched as though his muscles were cramped. My eyes involuntarily scanned over him, unable to be contained. He wore skinny jeans and a light blue button up shirt with very thin, blue lines going both vertical and horizontal. Atop his head was a black fedora. His brown, wavy hair fell in large volume from beneath the hat. His shirt was half unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscular and tattooed chest and forearms. He turned toward me and I quickly averted my gaze. In my jean shorts and t-shirt, I felt underdressed to him in his handsome glory. Why did my heart still have to flutter and my insides turn to mush at the sight of
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