The prize of perfection

The crystal flute felt frigid against Riana's fingertips, a stark contrast to the pulsing warmth emanating from the dance floor. Bright, infectious laughter ricocheted throughout the grand wedding reception hall, a symphony of celebration that seemed determined to bypass her entirely.

Her youngest sister, Lisa, glowed, her cheeks flushed with joy as she playfully fed a piece of cake to her new husband, his eyes mirroring her radiant happiness. A chorus of cheers erupted, a wave of pure, unadulterated bliss that washed over the room.

Riana took a slow sip of her sparkling wine, the ephemeral bubbles doing little to quell the gnawing unease in her chest. Across the room, their eldest sister, Mira, stood beside her husband, a picture of domestic tranquility. Their children, a miniature army of cherubic faces, tugged at their parents' hands, their giggles a sweet counterpoint to the music.

Mira’s newborn baby, nestled in her arms, slept peacefully, oblivious to the joyous chaos.

‘Another child’, Riana, thought as if their family portrait wasn't picture-perfect enough already. She glanced back at her champagne glass, finding a fleeting comfort in its fragile stem, a comfort that tasted suspiciously like… loneliness.

Perfect, they were. Perfect lives, perfect families. Perfect, suffocating happiness.

Riana, by contrast, was a monument to elegant solitude. The silk of her gown, a deep midnight blue, shimmered in the well-lit room, a subtle testament to her considerable wealth. A wealth hard-earned, forged not through inheritance or marriage, but through daring expeditions and the acquisition of priceless artifacts.

She had traversed treacherous jungles, navigated forgotten tombs, and braved landscapes whispered about in hushed tones, returning with treasures that would make kings envious.

She was rich, ridiculously so. Her name was practically synonymous with daring and fearlessness, her exploits the stuff of legend in collectors' circles and academic halls. Yet, tonight, surrounded by the effusive warmth of familial love, the gilded cage of her carefully constructed life felt suddenly…empty.

She'd told herself she was content. Content with the thrill of the chase, the intellectual satisfaction of unearthing a lost relic, the quiet solitude of her meticulously organized existence. She'd vehemently argued that the absence of a husband, of children, was a deliberate choice, a considered sacrifice on the altar of her consuming passion.

But the sight of Lisa's incandescent smile, the gentle curve of Mira's arm cradling her baby, chipped away at that carefully constructed facade. A nagging question, a whisper she had long ignored, finally dared to surface: 'Am I truly content?’, she thought to herself.

The truth, she realized, was a bitter draught. She had spent the years since her military service plunging into her work with a ferocity that bordered on obsession, each expedition a desperate attempt to fill the void she refused to acknowledge.

The relics, the dangerous missions, the intoxicating allure of the unknown–they were her shields, her distractions, her desperate replacements for the life she'd never allowed herself to have.

She felt the weight of unseen eyes, the subtle scrutiny of family and friends. They saw her, the woman who seemed to have it all, yet possessed…, nothing. The woman who could buy islands but not companionship, who could conquer treacherous terrains but not a loving embrace. The unspoken pity, the quiet murmurs, felt like a thousand tiny daggers.

Then, a gentle hand took her arm. Her mother, her face etched with a familiar mixture of concern and resignation, steered her away from the swirling crowd, out onto the cool, moonlit terrace.

"Riana," her mother began, her voice soft but firm, "you look…lost."

"Lost?" Riana retorted, her voice sharper than she intended. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Are you?" Her mother's gaze was unwavering, imbued with a lifetime of knowing. "Everyone can see you’re not fine, let alone the woman who carried you for nine months. So tell me, what is truly going on with you?"

Riana was unable to answer. How could she articulate the fact that her mother was right, that traveling and challenging herself to increasingly dangerous lengths was no longer enough? She wanted more, but she didn't even know what "more" looked like.

"My child, you have everything," her mother continued, as if sensing the turbulent thoughts churning within her daughter's mind. "Wealth, independence, a reputation that precedes you." But what do you really want? Riana, What do you truly want with your life?"

Riana's defenses rose, a familiar wall erected against unwanted intrusions. "I want…I want to explore. To find what others deem impossible. To live on my own terms."

"And you do, you really do" her mother conceded. "But you're not getting any younger. And you can't live your life alone, forever. There must be something more…something beyond the thrill of the next discovery."

"My work isn't 'just a thrill'," Riana said, her voice laced with steel. "It's my passion, my purpose."

"And I admire that, I truly do, my child," her mother said, her voice soothing. "But even passion needs balance. You are a brilliant woman, Riana, but you are also, difficult."

Riana's breath caught in her throat. "Difficult?" She looked at her mother, searching her face for the true meaning behind the word. "What do you *mean*, I'm difficult?"

"You are…aloof. You push people away. You have no problem facing danger or exploring the world, but you struggle with your own kind. You're not willing to let anyone in, truly in. Even your work partners–you make them feel like they're merely there to facilitate your achievements, and you’re the only star."

Her mother sighed, the sound carrying the weight of years of unspoken concerns. "Riana, even queens need allies, friends. You can continue your expeditions, but at least…try to connect with the people you work with. Try to build something more than just a professional relationship. Make friends."

Riana stared at her mother, the words landing with the force of a physical blow. She had always prided herself on her independence, her self-sufficiency. But now, in the quiet solitude of the terrace, she was forced to confront a truth she had long denied: She was arrogant. She was isolated. And she was, perhaps, more alone than she had ever allowed herself to admit.

The silence stretched, thick and heavy, broken only by the distant strains of music and the soft rustle of the garden's foliage. Riana's gaze drifted away, towards the moonlit expanse of the meticulously manicured lawn. She heard her sisters' laughter, the easy connection of their families, and a pang of something she couldn't quite name tightened in her chest.

"I… don't know how," she finally admitted, her voice barely a whisper. "I've always been…better alone."

"That's not true," her mother said, her voice softening. "You were a bright, vibrant child. You had friends, you had dreams of more than just adventures and hidden treasures."

Riana's lips twisted into a wry smile. "The army changed that."

"The army taught you discipline, strength, and resilience," her mother countered. "But it also taught you to build walls. Walls that have kept everyone out, including yourself."

Riana felt a wave of defensiveness, a familiar surge of resistance. "I don't need anyone."

"Everyone needs someone, my baby," her mother said, her voice laced with a weary sadness. "You are not a machine. You are a woman, a brilliant, capable woman who deserves more than a life lived in the shadows. You deserve companionship, love, a family of your own."

The word "family" hung in the air, a heavy, unspoken accusation. Riana's gaze flickered back to her mother, a flicker of something akin to fear in her eyes.

"I, don't know how to do that," she repeated, her voice barely audible. "I don't know how to…connect."

"Then learn," her mother said, her voice firm but gentle. "Start small. Open yourself up to the people around you. Your colleagues, your team…they are not just tools to achieve your goals. They are people with their own strengths, their own stories. Try to see them. Try to let them see you."

Riana's mind raced, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. She thought of her team, the seasoned professionals she hired for their expertise, their unwavering loyalty. She saw their faces, their quiet respect, their unspoken…distance. She had always maintained a professional distance, a carefully constructed barrier between herself and those who worked for her. She had mistaken respect for connection, efficiency for friendship.

"I… I've never thought about it like that," she admitted, her voice laced with a newfound vulnerability.

"It's time you did," her mother said, her hand gently cupping Riana's cheek. "You are a remarkable woman, Ria. But even the strongest trees need roots. And your roots are with people, with connection, with…love."

Riana's breath hitched, the word "love" echoing in the sudden silence. She looked back at the ballroom, at the swirling dancers, the laughing families, the radiant joy that seemed so foreign to her. A wave of loneliness, sharp and piercing, washed over her, a stark contrast to the warmth of the champagne and the glow of the celebration. She felt like a ghost, an observer in a world she didn't quite understand.

She nodded slowly, her gaze fixed on the distant lights of the city. "I'll…try," she whispered, the word a fragile promise, an uncertain step into the unknown. "I'll try to...connect."

Her mother smiled, a small, sad smile that spoke of years of unspoken worries. "That is all I ask."