8I held the white pills in my hand, staring at them and not being able to make a decision."Hell." I grumbled and then I dropped them in the toilet and flushed them.I sighed and let my knees go weak. I slid to the ground and put my head in my hands. What the hell is wrong with me?"You okay?"I looked up to see my dad standing at the doorframe of the bathroom with his arms crossed over his chest.I pursed my lips, shrugging.My dad frowned as he stepped in and walked over to me, coming down to sit beside me. We both leaned our backs against the shower door."Want to talk about it?"I leaned my head down on his shoulder. "Boy problems."He let out a small laugh. "Your mom would be a lot of help right now. I—I always worried about when you'd get to the age where you'd have boy problems and needed your mom to talk to, not me.""I can always talk to you, dad." I spoke softly.He sighed deeply. "I know. Whose ass do you want me to kick?"I snorted, shaking my head. "Nobody—it's fine.""
9"Bloom."I ignored him."Bloom." He was persistent. "Blooooom," he whined like a child."What?" I turned to look at him, snapping. He decided to sit beside me in English— despite my arguments. I proceeded to ignore him all class because I—I was choosing to be stubborn and remain mad at him. He deserved as much. He pouted out his bottom lip like a little kid. "Stop ignoring me. Pretty please."I looked down at my paper, continuing writing. "I'm talking to you right now—aren't I?" Zac didn't bother doing his assigned work. "You're not actually talking to me." He leaned closer towards me, frowning dramatically. "Stop being mad at me. I—apologize." I rolled my eyes, not looking at him."Bloom.""Bloom.""Bloom."Then, he started poking my face with a pencil. I snatched the pencil out of his hand, glaring at him. "Can you stop? I'm trying to work.""You are such a nerd." He poked my cheek with his finger, grinning at me. "You're not helping yourself." I gritted. He smiled cheekil
10"Morning bitches." Bea muttered tiredly, rubbing her eyes. She yawned as she leaned against the locker next to mine while I pulled my books out.I turned to look at her and smiled cheekily. "Morning, lovely. You—" I pointed at her, "—should smile more."Bea narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Then, she glanced at Jade. They shared a look, communicating with their eyes. Normally, I would know exactly what it meant—right now, I was lost. "Jasmine." Bea exhaled sharply, her tone growing stern. She brought her face close to mine, looking me hard in the eye. I inched away, laughing. "Personal space, Beatrice. Jesus—your breath smells minty fresh. Is that new gum?""Bea..." Jade spoke slowly. She glanced at Bea, concern washing through her eyes. Bea ignored Jade. She placed her hands on my shoulders, holding me still to analyze me. "Are you trying to read my mind?" I laughed lightly, giddiness swirling in my stomach. She ignored me."Oh—you stupid, stupid, fucker." Her voice was cold
11I was bent down on the ground with my head in my knees, crying in the middle of the bathroom—luckily nobody was in here.The door opened but I couldn't stop crying. I tried to stop and compose myself before someone saw me in the midst of a breakdown but I could not stop. I couldn't get the crying to stop. It was a waterfall. A burst water pipe. "Hey," a soft voice spoke. Someone bent down, wrapping their arms around me. "It's okay. Just—breathe." I continued crying and sobbing for a minute. I sniffled, my breath hitching as I raised my head. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. My legs were shaking I slowly stood up. "What are you doing here?" I whispered, my voice cracking.Zac smiled sadly, running a hand through my hair. "Are you okay?"I shrugged weakly, staring at his sweatshirt. I felt so—so utterly lost and shitty.I messed up badly. I knew I did. The disappointment on Bea's face—that stung hard. I know I messed up but seeing the disappointed look on Bea's face.
12Saturday—I was sitting in my empty house, watching the news in the living room because I was too lazy to find the remote. The doorbell rang. I thought it was a package delivery because my dad loved wasting his money on old vinyl records or first edition books. When I opened the front door, my head tilted quizzically. "Miller? What are you doing at my house?"Zac grinned at me, amusement washing over his features. "Nice to see you too, Bloom." He allowed himself into my house, walking right past me. I gaped at him. "What—what are you doing here?" "Nice home," he glanced around. "Very—homey."I narrowed my eyes, baffled.What the hell was he doing here? "Zac." I grabbed his arm, pulling him to stop wandering around like an elf and look at me. "What are you doing here?" "Here I thought you'd be happy to see me. You're already breaking my heart, Bloom." He placed a hand on top of his heart, pouting out his bottom lip like a child.I rolled my eyes and swatted his arm. "Seriously
13I got to school late because I slept in.I was pulling my books out of my locker, the hallway was empty because class had already started so I wad the only one here. Or so I thought."Hey, Jazzy," Lucas walked over and leaned against the locker beside mine. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave me his usual arrogant little smirk. He just got here and his eyes were already dancing with amusement.I mentally groaned. I shut my eyes and exhaled through my noes, trying to keep my calm. This was really not how I wanted to start my day.I turned to look at him, plastering on the most forced and fake smile I could manage. "Lucas, always a pleasure to see you."He quirked an eyebrow, growing more amused because he could already easily see he was getting under my skin. He didn't even have to try, his presence simply irritated me because he was a jackass. The biggest of them all, too."I guess your little lover-boy didn't get the message."I narrowed my eyes, suddenly growing more inte
14"Come on Jas—are you really not going to talk to me now?" Evan groaned, following me down the hallway as I tried to get to class. I hadn't talked to him since I confronted him. It was just not okay that he went after Zac—especially over something as stupid as being jealous? I was tutoring Zac, we were friends—I was dating Evan. I couldn't see what there was for him to be so jealous or threatened by. Evan went too far, getting Zac hurt like that. "Jas—" Evan grabbed my arm and halted me to a stop. "Are you going to be mad at me over Miller? Seriously?" He spat out Zac's name with disgust. I was baffled. I laughed humourlessly. "This isn't because of Zac. This is because of you. Frankly, you not being able to see that is what makes this even worse."Evan rolled his eyes, scoffing. "I understand that you're mad at me but I told you, I didn—""Stop." I pulled my arm away and took a step away from Evan. "I don't want to hear your excuses. I know you did this, Evan. Stop lying to me."
15I somehow found myself going to another party—not to attend but to pick up my drunk best friend. Jade had a family dinner so she couldn't pick Bea up—which left me to make sure she would get home safe. I didn't mind. I scrambled through the crowd of sweaty, liquor-reeking bodies to try to catch sight of Bea. It was a difficult task with the house being this crowded and Bea being rather short. "Woah—Jasmine?"I looked up when my shoulder bumped against someone else's. "Hey, Shane." I smiled lightly, still glancing around to hunt for Bea within the crowd. I'd like to get out of here sooner than later. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming." Shane grinned giddily. I could tell he had quite a bit to drink. I could smell it on his breath—see it on his face as he swayed his head side to side. I sighed, meeting his eyes again. "I'm looking for Bea—have you seen her?" Shane laughed—due to the alcohol in his system that made something I said seem funnier than it was.