Chapter 3 - Either way I lose

Paige POV 

I turned around, fuming and ready to unleash hell on whoever dared to tell me what to do, but the word cut in my throat the moment our eyes met.

My eyes locked onto those icy blue eyes that stared into my soul. Tall, with broad shoulders that stretch under a perfectly tailored black coat. His thick hair slicked back with strands of hair pulled out at the front.

His lips are thin and straight, contouring with those chiseled jaws. His face had no expression, just looking down at me in a scolding manner.

For that moment I was trapped by the beauty in front of me, forgetting of my worries and pain. He looked like a Greek God that got bored and decided to take a stroll into a filthy dim bar.

But then he had to go and open his stupid, perfect mouth.

“ That's enough,” he said again, his voice deep and smooth, bringing me back to reality.

I shook my head a little, the once anger I had forgotten creeping back to me. I scoffed and threw my head back with a bitter laugh. “ Oh, really? And who the hell do you think you are? My therapist?”

His brow twitched, barely, but still no expression on his face.

“ You don't know me,” I spat. “ You don't know what I've been through and I'm going through, so do me a favour and mind your own business”

I grabbed the almost empty bottle in front of me and stood, wobbling a bit. “ Jeez, just because you look like some hot…greek.. guy, doesn't give you the right over me. I can do anything I want, can't you guys just leave me alone in peace?”

He still didn't say anything he just stood there, watching and that pissed me off

I pushed past him and stormed out of the bar still with the bottle of whiskey in my hand. Ignoring the whispers and the side-eyes from other bar-goers. Let them stare. Let them talk. That’s what people were good at anyway—talking about things they knew nothing about.

The night air hit me like a slap—sharp, freezing, and cruel.

I didn’t even have a coat. Again.

Of course I didn’t. I’d run out like a lunatic, and now here I was, shivering and walking aimlessly down the street like one of those stray dogs no one wanted.

Why did this have to happen to me? All I ever wanted was peace. A little love. A normal life. Nothing more.

And now?

Now I couldn’t even drink myself into numbness without someone stepping in to ruin that too.

I walked with my arms wrapped tightly around myself, my teeth chattering. My lips were trembling from the cold—or maybe from the sobs that refused to come out anymore. I didn’t even have tears left. I was drained. Empty.

What was the point of living? What was life without my other half with me? Why was I living? Why should I live?

I killed my baby with my own bare hands so what right do I have to still keep fighting to live?

After my parents death I was lost and devastated to the point of taking my own life but Ethan pulled me out of that darkness.

Now what was the point in living if my only means of light in the dark hollowness of my life is gone?

Tears poured down my face as I cried my heart to stupor, the cold seeping into my skin more and more. 

Questions roaming in my head but there was no answer to them. I wandered till I stood face to face in front of a cliff. 

I'd rather end it than seeing my sister take everything I wished for. I'd rather die than continue living in an empty shell with no meaning at all.

One step at a time, my heart racing as I advanced toward the cliff till it remained a step forward.

As soon as I wanted to take the last step that would end all my worries, I felt my body stubble back in fear.

Eyes wide open as I tried to breath, my chest pounding as I fell back to the ground. 

I didn't want to die, I didn't want to die. I covered my face with my hands crying bitterly. I couldn't even be brave enough to take my own life. 

I hated this. I hated how powerless I felt. How invisible and pitiful I looked.

Just then I felt something wrapped around my shoulders, feeling the little warmth I craved for. I looked down to see a leather coat then turned.

It was him, the stranger from the bar.

“ You'll catch a cold,” he said quietly, adjusting the heavy coat on my shivering shoulders. 

I felt too numb to reject or even retort his words. “ Come with me”

I looked at him surprised. How did he, was he stalking me? “ What..what are you doing here” I said through a cracked voice.

He didn't say anything, he just turned glancing back “ follow me or go ahead with whatever you were doing. I won't stop you. Either way you lose.”

I looked down, biting my lower lips. So he saw me wanting to end it and didn't do anything. 

I sighed, getting up. My trembling hands held the coat tightly. He was right. Either way I lose.

I followed him as he walked to his supposed car. He opened the door to let me in and as we got in the driver zoomed off without a blink.

I glanced outside the window at the fluorescent road lights shining in the night. The ride was silent with a chill tension surrounding the car.

I couldn't help but glance at the focus man whose eyes never left his phone for once.

Did I make a mistake? Wasn't it weird that he offered to take me somewhere and I hoped on without knowing where I was going?

Isn't it weird that a man like him is even helping me? 

Oh God I hope I'm safe. Safe?

I laughed at myself silently. What was being safe again?

I closed my eyes in regret. This was insane and foolish..

But what more do I have to lose?