Feeling devastated

                         ~JESSICA~

I sat in the hospital waiting room, trying to hold myself together. My stepmother, Sarah, was lying in a hospital bed, fighting for her life.

The events at Albert’s house replayed in my mind like a broken record. I had lost him, my best friend, and whatever shred of dignity I had left. But I couldn’t fall apart—not yet. Sarah needed me.

The weight if everything pressed down on me and because I was feeling really sleepy and tired, mentally and emotionally stressed, and didn't want to think about anything for the moment, I forced myself to sleep.

“Miss Adams?”

“Miss Adams??” I heard someone call tentatively and my head shot up immediately. I blinked away the heaviness of sleep as I adjusted my glasses and stared sleepily at the nurse standing in front of me.

“Miss Adams??” The nurse called again.

“Yes, I am Jessica Adams” I replied and she made a brief nod.

“The doctor wants to see you in his office” she informed me.

“Sure, let's go” I replied and adjusted my glasses again. The glasses kept slipping off the top of my small nose and it pissed me off.

I slung my one, overused, worn out bag on my shoulders and followed the Nurse as she led the way to the doctor's office, down the long hallway.

She moved quickly and I had to hurry to keep up, tripping over my long, faded, blue gown in the process. 

Twice, I stepped on my gown and almost fell flat to the ground. I was grateful I didn't fall as this wasn't the time to be clumsy.

We got to a door and she knocked on the door.

“Doctor Tyack, it's Nurse Beatrice” she announced.

“Come in” I heard a deep voice reply.

“Here, she is, Doctor,” the Nurse said as we entered the room.

“Thank you, Nurse Beatrice. You can take your leave” the doctor replied and waved his hand in dismissal.

She turned and left the room, closing the door silently behind her. 

“Miss Adams, please, take a seat” the doctor said, gesturing to the seat opposite him.

I sat down and waited nervously for him to talk.

“You're the guardian of Mrs Sarah Adams, right?” He started.

“Yes, Doctor….” I hesitated, realizing I hadn't caught his full name.

“Doctor Spencer Tyack” he supplied and smiled briefly.

“Yes, thank you, Doctor Spence,” I replied, though my voice wavered.

“What's your relationship with her?” He asked.

“She's my step mom,” I replied.

“Good then. I guess I can talk to you about this” he said and stared at me for a while before looking away.

He's making me nervous and I shifted nervously on my seat and swallowed my spit nervously. Soon, I found myself playing nervously with my fingers on my laps.

He cleared his throat then dropped the bomb.

“Your Stepmom is suffering from a chronic kidney disease caused by Glomerulonephritis” 

“Glomeru….what??” I stuttered and blinked my eyes in my glasses rapidly.

“Glomerulonephritis, an inflammation of the kidney's filtering units that is; the Glomeruli” he calmly explained.

I nodded even though I didn't understand what he's saying.

“I'll explain further. She has kidney failure and she is in stage five, a very critical stage and needs dialysis or a kidney transplant to sustain her life” he informed me.

“And if she doesn't get the dialysis or kidney transplant??” I asked, already dreading the answer.

“She'll die” his reply was straight to the point and it pierced my heart.

The words hung in the air like a heavy stone, sinking deep. My breath hitched as I thought of all Sarah had done for me.

I love Sarah so much. She treated me like her own child and showed me so much love and care after my mom died. I can't afford to lose another mother and I'll do anything to save her life.

“Doctor Spence, how much are we talking about here?” I asked, even though I was very much aware that I have close to nothing in my bank account.

I got fired from the last job I was doing months ago and haven't gotten a new job since then. I've been spending the money I made from the last job and now it's almost gone.

“It's very expensive, I must say” he replied and his eyes swept up and down my body, his eyes holding a scrutinizing look as if he's checking if I could afford the bills.

And was it a faint smile I saw on his lips??

“How expensive??” I implored.

“For dialysis, you need to pay $72,000 to $90,000 per year and for kidney transplant, the bill is up to $400,000 including pre transplant costs, surgery and hospital stay, and post transplant cost. I'll advise you to go for a kidney transplant as it's more effective” he replied.

My mouth flew open and I stared at him wide eyed in shock.

“Where am I supposed to get that kind of money from??!!” I exclaimed.

He shrugged his shoulders and stared back at me.

“You need to pay the money to enable us to start the treatment as soon as possible if you want to save her life. You could start by paying half of the money, this is my own way of helping you. Normally, the hospital policies accept full payment alone”

I chuckled sadly at what he said. What's my last $150 going to do in a situation like this??

I don't even have one-quarter of the money, not to talk of half of it. The harsh reality set in. Sarah needed me and I was completely powerless to do anything.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I removed my glasses and dabbed at my eyes with my handkerchief and sniffed loudly.

“Can you give me some time, Doctor??” I pleaded.

“Sure, but you should know that she can't remain in the hospital for long if she doesn't start treatment soon. She'll have to leave for the treatment of another patient” he replied softly, his eyes filled with pity.

I sniffed again, desperately trying to hold back my tears. 

“I'll take note of that, Doctor”

I stood up and picked up my bag. With a murmured “Thank you” I walked out of the office. 

I walked hastily down the hall till I got to the waiting room where I had been sitting. Weakly, I sat down and broke into tears while searching for my phone in my bag to call my best friend. Then I remembered that she had betrayed me. And funny enough, I still missed her. I really needed someone to talk to, but I couldn't talk to her anymore.

I tossed the phone back into my bag, the emptiness growing in my chest. I sighed deeply. I couldn't give up now. I must look for ways to save Sarah's life.

But how?? I don't even have a job!

I stood up and sluggishly walked out of the hospital, feeling frustrated and tired.

With blurry eyes, I stopped a taxi and gave the driver my house address. Inside the cab, I removed my glasses and burst out crying, hitting my chest and dabbing my eyes with my handkerchief till it was soaked and couldn't contain my tears again.

Thankfully, the driver didn't interfere and left me to express my feelings and only informed me that I've gotten home.

I stepped down from the car and brought out cash to give him but he rejected it, gave me a sweet smile and drove away.

Oh yeah, I must look very pitiful.

I opened the door weakly and walked into the house and collapsed on the couch, staring mindlessly at the ceiling.

My stepmom is lying sick and at the point of death at the hospital and my fiance just ended things with me. 

What's next now??? I felt totally devastated and hopeless.