Chapter 3

LYNEXIA

They say you can sense when someone is falling head over heels for you, but never when they start falling out of love for you until it's too late.

One moment, Dimitri and I were so in love and hopeful about our future filled with dreams, laughter and joy. Then the war wreaked havoc, destroying and tearing the shadow pack apart, and the love me and Dimitri shares.

Perhaps our love wasn't destined to withstand the test of war. Our love was born to fail from the beginning without the war.

Everything started to go down the hill when I was taken captive by the Barbarians. I lived amongst them in captivity. The Barbarians were also with werewolf blood in the nation of Aethelgard that houses territories of Four werewolves pack. The shadow pack. The mooncrest pack. The moonstone pack. And the Barbarians, the blackstalker pack

But while the Shadow pack was raised to see the good in everything and appreciate the nature, The Barbarians were raised with violence and unquenchable thirst for blood. They are coined the devil of the night. They were nothing like us.

Then one day, they let me go without a reason. When I came back to the Shadow pack, no one looked at me the same anymore. Everyone believed that I was tainted and the Barbarians must have used me. They believed I have lost my virtue to the Barbarians and I'm undeserving to be called the Luna.

Things weren't the same between me and Dimitri from that time. At first, I didn't want to come to terms with the fact that something like that will tear Dimitri and I apart. I grapple unto the remains of the future that me and Dimitri could have shared. I try to act like nothing was broken between us.

Then the realization hit me like a rolling stone one day. Dimitri wasn't in love with me anymore.

Maybe I know when the light of his love for me starts to dim but I just don't want to admit it.

Everyday, I watch Dimitri slip away from my grasp, becoming a stranger that I don't know. I watch him fall out of love. I watch his eyes turn cold towards me. I watch him find solace in strong liquor and gradually becoming a shell of himself. The love of my life turns into something else before my eyes and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

So I lie to myself, I tell myself I have no idea when Dimitri's love starts to turn into bitterness and hatred because then it was more bearable for me to lie to myself than watch the love of my life dwindle down the path of self destruction.

With a heavy heart, I slip into the Dimitri's room. A flickering candle casts a soft glow across the stone wall illuminating a lone figure in cloth made of leather.

Dimitri. He has a bottle full of liquor in his hand.

My heart aches and my lips trembles as I clutch the fabric of my dress before approaching Dimitri.

Dimitri's groans of protest fills the air. "Give it back." His words is said in a deep slurry voice. When did my love become a shell of himself?

"The elders wants to have a meeting with you." I say and move an inch away from Dimitri as he reaches for the bottle.

"Give me back the bottle, Lyn." He growls.

Tears prickle my eyes, blurring the image of the man I love. My name in his mouth jabs at me.

"The Barbarians are already infiltrating the north. It isn't no longer safe for us anymore." I choke out. The harsh reality scraps at my skin. "The Barbarians are closer than we think."

His empty gaze meets mine. "What difference does it make?"

My hands tighten around the bottle. "Until when are you going to be like this? You are supposed to be The alpha of the pack for godsake. If you are like this—" I say with a wave of my hand. "Who do you want the people to look up to—."

"Perhaps the Barbarians are here to finish what they started with you." His usually low rumble voice come out gravelly.

My heart sinks and despair curls around me. Silence stretches between us, only broken by the ragged rasp of Dimitri's voice. "What did you just say to me?" My voice sounds like a strangled whisper.

"Come on, Lyn." Dimitri pushes himself to his feet, staggering slightly. "Are you acting oblivious or are you just dumb?"

Dumb. The word punches my gut.

"You were with the Barbarians for days and everyone knows—." He stops mid-sentence, a flicker of guilt crossing his eyes so fleeting I thought I imagined it.

"Know what?" A choked laughter spill out of mouth laced with anger and hurt. "Slept with me? Took turns on my body?" I'm not oblivious to what people say but I chose to ignore it and hope that someday it will die down. "Everyone knows that the Barbarians had their fill with me and let me go when they got tired of me. Is that what you believed too?"

Dimitri sighs echoes in the room, His fingers raked through his disheveled hair. "Just... just give me the bottle and leave, Lyn."

My hand tightens on the glass, turning my knuckles white. Sorrow and anger burns in my chest. I can take the whispers, and the accusations from others, but coming from Dimitri... it feels like a blow to the soul.

"Do you believe them too?" I whisper. "Do you also think I... slept with the Barbarians? And it's why they released me?"

He flinches, but his answer is dismissive. "Not now, Lyn. We can talk about this later." His hand waves with a tremor.

Later?" I shouted, the despair in my voice bounces off the stone walls. "Do you also think I'm not worthy of being Luna anymore because I have tainted myself with the blood of the Barbarians."

Dimitri says nothing and head for the door. My hand shoots out with desperation and I grab his wrist. He jerks it away roughly, the force sending me stumbling back. I feel pain in my lower back as I collide with the desk behind me. A yelp escapes my lips, adding to the sob threatening to erupt from my mouth.

From my peripheral, Dimitri tries to reach out to me but when I raise my head, he is just where he is. His gaze brimming with anger and hatred that sends chills down my spine.

He stops, his back still to me. His shoulders drops, and for a fleeting moment, I see a flicker of something in him - pain, regret, perhaps even shame. But then it is gone, replaced by a cold indifference.

"Leave me, Lyn," he says in a low and rough. "Please." Then he walks out of the room.

"Don't you dare walk out of me!" I scream with pain in my heart. Tears scalds my cheeks. "Tell me! Do you believe them too?..."

My legs give up beneath me and I crumple to the ground. My hands instinctively clutch my chest as if it will cease the physical ache in my chest.

Our love was supposed to last forever. Our love was supposed to be the purest form. So why? Why did everything go so wrong?