Jittery

The rest of the school day unfolded in a blur so quick it felt unreal. Maybe it could sense how jittery I was, how every thought, breath, and shift in my body kept circling back to the one person I didn't want occupying space in my head.

After the cafeteria incident, my nerves were shot. My next two classes passed in half-listened lectures and scribbled notes that didn't even follow the professor's pacing. Words went in one ear and spilled right out the other. Each time my phone buzzed, my heart tripped. Even when it wasn't him.

By the last class, our shared German elective, Mariah dropped into the seat beside me, flipping open her notebook with a dramatic sigh.

"You're weirdly quiet," she whispered, leaning in.

"I'm always quiet."

"No, honey." She gave me a look, the kind that saw through excuses. "This is a whole different flavor. This is quiet-plus-anxiety-times-ten."

I forced a tiny smile. "Just Tired."

Her raised eyebrow said she wasn't buying it, but she didn't push. 

The professor droned on about separable prefixes. Normally, I'd be locked in, languages were my thing. Today, the words floated past like clouds. I hated the flutter in my stomach. Hated that I kind of liked it.

When class finally ended, chairs scraped, and bags zipped in a rush for freedom. Mariah hooked her arm through mine as we spilled out into the hall.

"Heading straight home after this?"

"Yeah."

"Good," she hummed, swinging our arms lightly. "You need rest. Your brain was on airplane mode for the last forty-five minutes."

I elbowed her gently. "No, it wasn't."

She grinned. "You literally wrote 'whipped cream' next to 'backen' on the verb chart."

Heat flooded my face. "I did not."

"You did. Professor Klein definitely saw."

Oh. That... explained the professor's confused glance earlier.

We stepped out of the building into the crisp afternoon air. The parking lot stretched ahead, rows of cars catching the light, people weaving between them, and laughter drifting from small groups. The sky had the soft tone of a day gently winding down.

My stomach tightened.

Mariah noticed. She tightened her grip on my arm. "You don't have to be scared of him, you know."

"I'm not scared."

She didn't argue with me, which somehow made it worse.

We reached the edge of the lot, and my breath hitched before I even saw him. He leaned back casually against a sleek black BMW, with his hands in his pockets, and his head tilted slightly. 

Mariah exhaled under her breath. "Lord, have mercy."

"Mm-hmm." I agreed.

He pushed off the car when he saw us approaching. His eyes landed on me first and held. My steps faltered before I forced myself to keep walking.

"Hey," he murmured.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, willing my heartbeat to stay in my chest. "Hi."

Mariah released my arm and nudged me forward with a grin. It felt like betrayal. "I'll text you tonight, okay?"

"Wait... " I whispered, but she was already backing away.

"You're fine," she mouthed, winking before she turned and headed toward the opposite lot.

Suddenly, it was just us. 

Lloyd watched her leave before turning his eyes back to me. "Didn't want you going home alone," he mumbled. 

"You didn't have to," I replied.

"Yeah," he replied, tugging the car door open, "I did."

Heat flickered across my skin.

I hesitated. "We're just going the same direction. That's all."

 "If that helps you sleep at night, sure." He smirked.

I glared at him, or tried to. He didn't even blink.

"Get in, Nyelle."

I slid into the passenger seat, backpack clutched to my chest. He closed the door gently for someone with hands that large, and walked around to the driver's side.

He started the engine, then rested one arm on the wheel, glancing over at me with a slow, deliberate once-over that felt like a touch.

I looked away, staring out the windshield. Students crossed between cars, laughing, shouting, existing in their easy worlds. Meanwhile, mine felt like it was rewiring itself second by second.

He put the car in reverse. "You nervous?"

"No," I whispered.

A lie! He didn't call me out on it. 

The car hummed beneath us as we left the campus gates behind. Buildings blurred past, washed gold by the sinking sun, and the soft thrum of the radio filled the silence.

I sat rigid, backpack still clutched like a life vest even though I didn't need it. His cologne drifted through the small space every time he shifted his hand on the wheel. I was hyper-aware of everything, the way his fingers curled loosely around the gear stick, the quiet tap of his thumb in rhythm with the music, and the way he occasionally glanced my way.

I hated how it made my heart do stupid, useless flips.

"I've been meaning to do this all day." We were barely twenty minutes into the drive when he spoke. His voice was not teasing like before. I snapped my head toward him. 

"Do what?" I whispered.

He smirked. His hand tightened slightly on the steering wheel.

"I thought I'd wait," he continued slowly, "and be smart about it. But..."

His gaze flicked toward me again, holding just a fraction too long. "...turns out patience isn't really my strong suit."

My breath snagged.

I forced a swallow. "Lloyd..."

He pulled the car into the side of the road before I could finish.

"Why did you..."

He leaned across the console so suddenly that my back hit the seat. His hand came up, fingers brushing my jaw in a touch so soft it made my breath collapse inward. 

 "I've been thinking about it since the second I saw you in that lace bra."

Heat flooded my face. I started to look away, but he lifted his hand and settled against my cheek, thumb brushing the corner of my mouth.

"Lloyd..." It came out shaky.

He closed the last inch slowly.

Before I could think, before my brain could even assemble a full sentence.... he kissed me.