4. The Secret

CAROLINE

Unfortunately I did the opposite of what Harry said. I cried till I physically ran out of tears.

​I woke up late Saturday morning with a headache that felt like someone was throwing a party behind my eyes. My eyelids were heavy and crusty from crying myself to sleep. For a second, I just stared at the beige ceiling of my new dorm, wishing I could disappear into the mattress.

​The sound of clinking glass made me turn my head.

​A girl was standing by the small counter we shared, pouring water into a coffee maker. I realized with a jolt of guilt that I hadn't even properly introduced myself to my new roommate yet. Yesterday had been so much of Maverick and Riley that I’d been a total ghost.

​She turned around and saw me awake. She didn’t look annoyed; she just grabbed a mug and filled it up.

​"Here," she said, walking over and handing it to me. "You look like you need this more than I do."

​"Thanks," I mumbled, my voice raspy. I took a sip. It was strong and hot. We sat in silence for a while, just the sound of the radiator humming in the corner.

​"I'm Jessie, by the way," she said, leaning against her desk. "And I'm guessing by the swollen eyes that last night wasn't exactly a movie-perfect start to the semester?"

​I looked down at the dark liquid in my cup. "I'm Caroline. And yeah... it was a disaster. I went to this frat party and things just... went south."

​"Was it a guy?"

​I nodded slowly. "Yeah”  was all I could say before I changed the topic.

“Forgive, I'm so used to being around Maverick…my best friend  that  I haven't even tried to make other friends. So my skills suck. I didn't even know your name until just now."

​"Hey, don't sweat it," Jessie said with a small smile. "College is a lot. But if you ever need to vent about this  guy, I'm a great listener."

​"Thanks, Jessie. I appreciate that."

​My phone buzzed on the nightstand. I reached for it, heart sinking when I saw the name.

​Maverick: Hey, you finally up?

Maverick: Wanna grab breakfast at the diner?

Maverick: Swim team is doing a bonfire thing later, you should come.

​I stared at the screen. The thoughtfulness used to make me happy, but now it just felt like a trap. He was being a good friend, and that was the problem. 

​I typed back: Not feeling well. I think I caught a bug at the party. I need to rest.

​Maverick: Oh no! Want me to bring you some soup? I can be there in ten.

​"No way," I muttered as I hurried to text back. “ I just need to sleep it off, Mav. Have fun at the bonfire.”

​I tossed the phone face down and opened my laptop. Writing was the only thing that made me feel better. I started typing, getting lost in the world I created.

​"What are you working on?" Jessie asked after about an hour. She was sitting on her bed painting her nails a bright red.

​"Just... fiction," I said, trying to sound casual.

​"Wait, like a book? Let me see!"

​"It's nothing, really," I said, but my face was already turning red. "I post on a site called StoryVerse under a fake name. I’ve never told anyone. Not even my best friend knows about it."

​Jessie’s eyes went wide. She practically pounced on my bed. "Caroline! You have to tell me the name. I promise I’ll keep it a secret. I love romance stories!"

​I hesitated, but there was something about Jessie that made me feel safe. I told her the pen name. She immediately pulled it up on her phone and started reading the first chapter. I watched her nervously, biting my lip as she scrolled.

​The story was about a girl named Emma who was in love with her childhood best friend. It was basically a diary of everything I felt for Maverick—the way he looked at other girls, the camping trips where I hoped he’d notice me, the way I was always his second choice.

​Jessie looked up from her phone, her eyes soft. "Is this... is this about You and the guy?"

​I couldn't lie, so I just nodded.

​"Caroline, this is heartbreaking," she said. "Look at these comments. Everyone is begging Emma to move on. They want her to see that she's worth more than waiting for a guy who doesn't see her."

​"I don't know how to end it," I whispered. "Because in real life, there is no happy ending for me."

​"Then maybe," Jessie said, "you need to live a different story so you can finally write the ending to this one."

​Saturday night passed with us just hanging out in the dorm, but by Sunday afternoon, the pressure was back. Mason, one of the guys on the swim team, wouldn't stop texting me about a pool party at the senior house off-campus.

​"You should go," Jessie said, helping me pick out an outfit. "You can't hide in this room forever. Put on that high-waisted bikini and the denim shorts. Show them you're fine."

​I ended up at the party around three pm. The backyard was packed with people, the smell of grill smoke and  beer filling the air. 

​I spotted them immediately. Maverick was in the middle of the pool, laughing as Riley sat on his shoulders for a chicken fight. They looked like the perfect couple. Riley was screaming with laughter, her arms wrapped around Maverick’s head as they knocked another girl into the water.

​"Caroline! Finally!" Mason shouted, waving me over.

​He was sitting with a group of swimmers and girls on the pool deck. They were all sitting in a circle, surrounded by red plastic cups and half-eaten bags of chips.

​"We're playing Truth or Dare," Mason said, pulling me down to sit on a towel. "You're just in time."

​I didn't want to play, but I didn't want to be the "boring" friend either. I took a drink from someone’s cup. It tasted like warm fruit punch and vodka.

​A few rounds went by. People were dared to jump off the roof into the pool or tell their most embarrassing hookup story. Then, it was Riley’s turn. She had just climbed out of the pool, her skin glistening with water.

​"Truth," Riley said, looking around the circle with a smirk.

​"What’s your biggest relationship fear?" a girl asked.

​Riley glanced over at Maverick, who was drying off nearby, then her eyes landed right on me. "I guess my biggest fear is ending up alone. Like some people who are too scared to put themselves out there, so they just follow a guy around like a lost puppy for years."

​The circle went quiet. I felt my face start to burn. She might have said it so innocently but it hit too close to home. 

​"Yeah," Mason laughed, clearly drunk. "Some girls are just meant to be the 'single friend.' They're just not the dating type, you know?"

​"A late bloomer," another guy added, snickering.

​I felt like everyone was looking at me with pity. It was my turn next.

​"Caroline," Mason said, leaning in. "Truth or dare?"

​"Dare," I said, my voice sharper than I intended. I couldn't handle them asking me a "truth" question right now.

​Mason’s eyes lit up. "I have a good one. Since everyone thinks you're the 'forever single' girl, I dare you to bring a real boyfriend to the Freshers Gala in two weeks. A real one…not a friend, not third wheeling Maverick. An actual date."

​The group started "ooohing" and laughing.

​"If you do it," Mason continued, "I’ll give you a thousand bucks. If you don't, you have to strip down at the gala in your undies."

​"Mason, that's enough," Maverick said, walking over with a frown. "Leave her alone."

​"Oh, it's just a game, Mav," Riley said, putting her hand on his chest. "Unless Caroline knows she can't actually get a guy to date her?"

​I looked at Riley’s face, then at Maverick, who looked like he felt sorry for me. I didn't want his pity. I was so tired of being the girl everyone felt sorry for.

​"I'll do it," I said, standing up. "The bet is on. I'll bring a boyfriend to the Gala."

I paused, “But I have  an extra clause you get to strip down if you lose and I still keep the one grand.”

​The whole backyard seemed to erupt in cheers and whistles. Mason was laughing and high-fiving people. Maverick just looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“Done Mamacita? My dick print had nothing to be ashamed of” Meson said, causing everyone to laugh.

​"Are you serious, Caroline?" he asked, pulling me aside as I tried to leave. "You don't have to prove anything to these idiots."

​"I'm not proving anything to them, Maverick," I said, pulling my arm away. "I’m doing it for me."

​"I hope you find someone nice!" Riley called out from behind him, her voice dripping with fake kindness.

***

​I walked back to my dorm in a daze. By the time I got there, my phone was vibrating so hard it was almost falling out of my hand. Someone had already posted the bet on the campus "Spotted" page.

​THE BET: Can Caroline find a boyfriend in 14 days?

​The comments were already piling up.

​I threw my phone against the wall and fell onto my bed. Jessie was pacing back and forth, looking at her own phone.

​"I saw it," she said. "Mason is a total jerk. But you know what? We aren't staying here."

​"I just want to hide, Jessie. Everyone is laughing at me."

​"No. We are going out," Jessie said, pulling an outfit out of her closet. "I have two tickets for Void at The Basement tonight. It's the biggest band on campus. They’re sold out, but my friend bailed. We're going, and you're going to forget that pool party ever happened."

​"What is Void?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

​Jessie looked at me like I was from another planet. "Only the hottest, most mysterious guys in school. Now get up. We leave in an hour."